Who Opened the Door to my Unconcious?

I rarely have nightmares. Last week I had two.

First Dream:
I was fighting a bear standing on its hind legs. It was swiping its paw at me - I could see its claws. Each time it swiped, its paw went right through the bottom of my stomach (where I feel the intense, devastating emotions) like I was a ghost. There were no physical marks/injuries. The bear was injuring my soul. I had a weapon (morning star) and was able to hit it in the nose twice.

Second Dream (the following night)
I was dreaming that I was in bed sleeping just like I was. Standing right beside my head was a shadow shaped like a person. I was so petrified, horrified, terrified of it. I started screaming, "Help me! Help me!" over and over. My husband woke me up.

I thought that in the first dream the bear was my T. The two times I hit him in the nose represented the two angry emails I sent him. As to the second dream, I really had no idea.

I had a session with T and told him about this. To give you a little background information, when we were talking about the angry emails, I was asking him why I kept writing and then analyzing what I wrote. I would say something, and then say well, that was manipulative, wasn't it?

His answer was very interesting. He said that we all split sometimes often due to anxiety. I told him that I felt like a part of me was sitting watching myself do idiotic things but could not control what I did. He told me that that is what is called the "Ever Watchful Superego". He has told me that my Watchful Superego is hypervigilant. I don't let myself get away with anything.

T said that one theory of dreams is that the characters represent different parts of us. So,

Dream 1: I am the bear. The bear represents the "idiotic acting" me. This 'me' feels that it has no defenses (bare). The Watchful Superego 'me' hit the bear 'me' twice because it hated the fact that I wrote the angry emails to someone I cherished so much. I guess it's the one that caused me to experience such guilt. So, the bear was stirring up devastating emotions with its paw.

Dream 2: T asked me to put myself in the place of the shadow. (I found this very interesting) He asked, "What was it doing to make you afraid?" I honestly couldn't put myself in its place and told him so. However, since then I have been able to put myself in its place, to look at myself sleeping and then yelling, "Help me!" But, when I do this, the shadow has no feelings. It is not trying to hurt the other part of me, at least not that I am consciously aware of. So, I think the shadow is my Watchful Superego. That's as far as my analysis has come.

I know this is a long post. I just wanted to share what I learned. As I continue on this journey, I remain fascinated with my experiences, and in awe of the the things I have learned.

Oh, Please shut the door when you leave.

Dreams are such fun!

I think that typically, shadow self's are the parts of us that we keep hidden that include the parts of us we don't want anyone to see or know about.... including hidden from ourselves. Looking closely at ourselves, like in therapy, is frigtening sometimes and makes us want to call out "Help me! Help me!"

In your dream you are asleep, awakening to the shadow self. Kinda like therapy where we are 'asleep' and become awakened, and dare to look at the frightening shadow self?

Echoes,

You're right, they are such fun!

That was a brilliant analysis, Echoes. One of which I hadn't thought. I have been 'awakened' by my T to reality lately. It is very terrifying. That totally makes sense. I didn't actually look at my shadow self, though. I just knew it was there. I guess looking at it is the next step?

I didn't see mine either. I think it is meant to be that way, I don't know why. I "knew" it was me though it really had no features, it was really just a shadow. I was afraid of it!

So, you were afraid of your own shadow so to speak?

too funny!

yep and still am!!!