Self Centered - Help

I can not stop thinking about being depressed. Even when I am with my kids trying to have a good time I am preoccupied with my issues. I do not have conversations with anyone with out turning towards me and my issues. I would rather anything in the world than to be this way. When I try to think of other things it is like a black could comes over them with the negative thoughts. Yes I am on meds and in therapy (12 years). Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Have you talked to your T about what's going on? Maybe your meds are not working well.

Try to find activities and hobbies that distract you too ... are you doing anything to help yourself other than T?

gab

i have felt that way so often, i regularly find myself thinking of self harm even when i feel fine, for some reason it is always on my mind. i guess what has already been said is about right, have a word with your T about how your feeling, and dont worry about it, its natural to think about things when there playing a big part in your life, just gotta find a healthy way of fixing the problem

Depression will do that to you. The same thing's happening with me and I've been in therapy and on meds for a similiar amount of time. If you're drowning in a black fog, then that's all you'll see.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.

thanks for the validation. I talk to my therapist about it daily. My problem is finding a healthy way to deal with it. I keep searching.

Gab,

I don't get enjoyment out of anything in my life, which is so sad. I want to enjoy my kids most of all. The frustration I feel from the depression holds me back. The only thing that keeps it at bay is being online; I spend too much time here hiding from reality. I am not confident with my meds; my doctor is so I am looking for a new one.

That's the problem with depression. You're always conscious of it. You're always aware that it's sitting on your shoulder, watching everything you do, influencing the way you act, and you know you can do nothing about it even though you try to push it away. However...concentrate on the good times with your children and try to ignore the depression. Being with your children and enjoying their company means the depression has to fight harder to stay with you, and of course you can try fighting it then because you have the upper hand.

_____________________
RIP Dexter...
<font color=red>The best dog ever!!!</font color=red>

<font color=green>In the real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning.</font color=green>
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

you're not self centered hun, depression does that to you. it's all yo uthink about it engulfs you. maybe, if say in conversations, try to be activly listening, listen to what they're saying, listen for anyhting you might want to know more about, or that might be a concern say, and ask about it, say what yo uthink.....

but if you do need to talk about you, it's a two way thing.

"don't kick the puppy" ~ j.e.p.

thanks for the validation. Someday I will be able to be in a conversation that is not one way. Listening is hard to do when you mind is going a mile a minute

SilverQueen,

Thanks for the thoughts and the suggestions. I try my best to think of the good times boy is it hard. I will get the upper hand one of these days. We all have too keep working at it.