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  #1  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 07:15 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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I'm not ok. It's just too much.
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  #2  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 07:16 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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((((((((((( Jennifer)))))))))))
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #3  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 07:17 PM
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whisperingskye whisperingskye is offline
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Whats going on? I'm here if you want to talk, be it here or pm
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Failure.
Failure - Breaking Benjamin
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  #4  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 07:19 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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((((((((( Jennifer ))))))))))

I'm here if you want to talk
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  #5  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 07:38 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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I'm trying so hard to get better and be better and I feel useless, unwanted, a burden and a failure. I got a card in the mail today from one of my friends and it was about how I could be running my illness so much better. I feel defeated and like a total loser. I just don't and can't fight this anymore. There are other things going on but that just did it. I'm tired of having SI as my constant companion. I'm just over this.
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  #6  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 08:49 PM
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CepheidVariable CepheidVariable is offline
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I so dearly wish there was something I could say to you, whisperingskye, C.D.K, Fuzzybear, and everyone else. But I don't have anything at the moment. I was doing fairly well, even feeling a little strong, just a day ago. And then it slid down the slope again. It makes it hard to concentrate right now.

So for everyone. I wish I could do better.
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  #7  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 09:10 PM
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mountainstream mountainstream is offline
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  #8  
Old Aug 31, 2017, 09:42 PM
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eclairparty98 eclairparty98 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I'm trying so hard to get better and be better and I feel useless, unwanted, a burden and a failure. I got a card in the mail today from one of my friends and it was about how I could be running my illness so much better. I feel defeated and like a total loser. I just don't and can't fight this anymore. There are other things going on but that just did it. I'm tired of having SI as my constant companion. I'm just over this.
Hi, Jennifer Please realise you're not a loser nor are you unwanted, a burden, useless. Perhaps your friend came from a warm caring place or supportive concern?? You're not at all defeated, having been trying as hard as you have been to get better - this shows immense courage and strength on your part! I said to someone earlier that we all need to keep pushing and pushing as difficult as it seems and as easy as it sounds; it isn't at all easy. We'll all slip and have our off days, feeling like there's absolutely no hope and then experience great heights. You're not alone on this unique path

I believe you can surpass this difficult time dedicate time to any hobbies or interests which bring you joy. Listen to nice music. Hopefully this will serve as a distraction and things for you will eventually get better
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  #9  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 12:49 AM
ravencrow ravencrow is offline
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Big Hugs * don't give up this is a battle , many of us know it's not
easy one day at a time. Feel free to msg me x
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  #10  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 01:51 AM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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Hugs Jennifer! You are such a wonderful gentle soul. Please don't let this card you got from a 'friend' ruin how you are. Like you said, you be been trying so hard. You are doing the best that you can. You are not useless or a failure! You are you and I am so glad you are here!
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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  #11  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 06:29 AM
Anonymous50909
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((((((((Jennifer)))))))) I'm so sorry you are going through this. Depression sucks. Did it bother you that your friend sent that card? It sounds unempathic of them.
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  #12  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 06:42 AM
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Turtle_Rider Turtle_Rider is offline
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I'm sorry you feel this way Jennifer. Hope you feel better soon
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  #13  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 08:09 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I'm trying so hard to get better and be better and I feel useless, unwanted, a burden and a failure. I got a card in the mail today from one of my friends and it was about how I could be running my illness so much better. I feel defeated and like a total loser. I just don't and can't fight this anymore. There are other things going on but that just did it. I'm tired of having SI as my constant companion. I'm just over this.
you just said something very important------I'M NOT OK
now you can just be exactly who you are and where you are at.....it's ok
and maybe we can help out...
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  #14  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 01:17 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Thank you for your support. I appreciate you. I've lost my confidence for the time being of having anything valuable to contribute so I'm going to stick to hugs for awhile.

Sending big hugs.
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  #15  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 01:34 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
Thank you for your support. I appreciate you. I've lost my confidence for the time being of having anything valuable to contribute so I'm going to stick to hugs for awhile.

Sending big hugs.
I understand. Often I feel I don't have "much to offer" other than hugs. But if hugs are sincere and from the heart they can be and often are at least as valuable as words
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  #16  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 01:56 PM
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feeshee feeshee is offline
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Hope you're feeling better today Jennifer. We're all here for you.
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  #17  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 03:21 PM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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I'm sorry you're having a hard time now. But you have a lot to offer, that's very obvious to me. You are a very kind, caring and generous person. I think most people here agree. I know that we all are our own worst enemies. I know how that feels. I hope you feel better soon.
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  #18  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 03:53 PM
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CepheidVariable CepheidVariable is offline
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Location: rural Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I've lost my confidence for the time being of having anything valuable to contribute so I'm going to stick to hugs for awhile.

Sending big hugs.
Hugs will do nicely. Already in my short time here, I've seen you do much for people. I hope you get your confidence back just so that you feel better. But do whatever you need to do. Be good to yourself.
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  #19  
Old Sep 01, 2017, 05:08 PM
scarlett35 scarlett35 is offline
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I'm pretty new at posting and you are always there to offer hugs, sympathy and support!
I'm so glad you're here I'm not ok

Hope you're feeling better soon xxx
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  #20  
Old Sep 02, 2017, 06:58 PM
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mountainstream mountainstream is offline
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(((((Jennifer)))))
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  #21  
Old Sep 03, 2017, 08:45 AM
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CepheidVariable CepheidVariable is offline
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I see you're posting again. How are you doing now?
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  #22  
Old Sep 05, 2017, 10:30 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Quote:
I feel useless, unwanted, a burden and a failure.
Here on PC I find you to be extremely useful, active, helpful, wanted, someone who lightens the burdens of others, and a success at helping ease pain.

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  #23  
Old Sep 05, 2017, 11:01 PM
Anonymous57777
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Jennifer-You are valuable to so many.
I'm not ok
I'm not ok
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  #24  
Old Sep 05, 2017, 11:13 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CepheidVariable View Post
I see you're posting again. How are you doing now?
I'm doing much better. Thank you for your support. I really appreciate all of you so much.
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  #25  
Old Sep 06, 2017, 06:24 AM
Anonymous57777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
Here on PC I find you to be extremely useful, active, helpful, wanted, someone who lightens the burdens of others, and a success at helping ease pain.

Ditto this.

It seems like some of our problems are "forever problems" -- we can't click our fingers and make them go away. So depressing.

Am I right to say that you are very, very conscientious? You are PCs super comforter providing gentle support to all, yet, like so many here, you are not as kind to yourself. Sometimes are strengths are also our weaknesses. You set very high standards for yourself; it is apparent in the way you support us all here in such an above and beyond way.

I hope this reply isn't to depressing since you are depressed. I hope I haven't mischaracterized your situation in any way. I hope things get better for you!
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