Never felt so low

I have really crashed this week and I don't think I can do this any more. The psychiatrist started me on quetiapine and it just completely wiped me out. I missed a deadline at work so me and my colleagues all had to work late to fix it and I feel terrible about it and now they think I am just rubbish at my job.
I saw my GP and just burst in to tears, which I never do. It is the first time I have seen her as my usual GP left the practice, so she must think I am really stupid.
She was very kind though, and is going to speak to the psychiatrist about my medication as I can't carry on just trying new drugs to see if they work. None have so far - I just get horrible side effects.
GP wants to sign me off work, but I am really scared about that. I worry that I will lose my job and all my colleagues will find out about my mental illness.
I just really don't know what to do. I feel like everything is falling apart and I really don't think I can go on much longer...

Your GP doesn't think you're stupid, she thinks you're ill, and she's trying to help you - which is great. When will you be speaking with your pdoc?

Not for another 3 weeks, but GP wants to see me next week.

How much quetapine are you taking? If it's wiping up out you may a lower dose. How many hours are you sleeping per night? If it's more than 8 or your taking too much.

I was up to 150mg but just dropped down to 75. Even when I started on 50mg it wiped me out. I have to get up early for work so get about 6h but feel sedated all day. I was given it partly to help with sleep as I sleep very badly and usually only get 3-4 hours a night.

Seroquel causes complete exhaustion at high doses; at low doses it causes extreme sleepiness. That's why it's used for a sleep med at low doses.

I'm glad you're seeing your GP this week. It would be great if you could see your pdoc sooner.

I'm here for others even when I'm not here for myself.

Take a ride on my broad strong back,

Meds are not for me, I have to get by without them

But hey I'm a bear, I can catch salmon, much better

Thank you. I don't think meds are for me, but pdoc wants to try some different combinations. I can see the logic but I don't think I can take any more trying meds that don't work and make me feel s***

Stay strong fuzzy bear

You got this far from being strong

You will only grow stronger

I'm not a fan of meds I wish you luck Please keep doing your own research and know that you are Valuable

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It's great that you are working with professionals to get some relief. I hope you feel better soon.

That is very impressive, Fuzzybear. Doing it without the meds. I am inspired.

May I ask? Do you take any other supplement?

I'm not valuable though, that's the problem
The sad fact is that very few people outside my immediate family would even notice if I wasn't here any more, and they wouldn't even care
As for meds, this is the problem I have with my pdoc - she keeps wanting me to try new meds, as she is sure something will work eventually, and I feel really ungrateful and selfish for disagreeing because of the effect that the continuous cycle of trying something new, weaning off it and then trying something new again is having on me.
I am not averse to medication, I have a pharmacology degree, PhD and worked for a pharmaceutical company for many years - so I know how the drugs work, and I know the problems with them but I also know that you cab't just keep throwing different drugs at a problem and hoping that one of them will work...