holiday depression

So, starting from the end of last week and for about 3 weeks, it is this string of holidays. I know they are supposed to be festive, but I find them so overwhelming and filled with anxiety.

Morning services are long. Anywhere from 3 to 4.5 hours. I went Thursday morning, about 3.5 hours, got through it, but just drained.

Quite a bit more to follow, just hoping I can hang in there.

3 to 4 hours that's a long service. I would be brain fried!

Thank you for the reply.

Atlas Shrugged, is such a good read.

I see you got new meds recently. I hope they work out for you. Mine apparently are not.

Holidays do the same thing to me. Can you take extra good care of yourself during this time, don't expect too much from yourself and build in some rest and recuperation time? Sending big hugs.

Thank you for the hugs.

I think I try to take care of myself during these times.

I know I could leave on the middle of the service, but then I feel guilty. Which is probably why I do most of my services alone at home.

holidays for me are like this big build up to what I feel might be excitement, but when it actually happens, it's depressing as hell.

christmas is a good example.

every year I look forward to the decorations, I look forward to the music, I look forward to the turkey, but, you get to the actual time, and it's just so depressing.

you're on your own, you've know one to share festive cheer with, you're bored because their's nothing exciting to do, it's just you, in your house, eating some hastily cooked turkey listening to christmas songs.

it's for 1 day of the year, and then it's over

I make the same mistake every year, this time it will be diffrent, this time it will be diffrent, is it hell

and it's the same for haloween

all this big build up to getting lots of candy and pumpkin pie, and you're sitting their halloween night watching something on TV that's not even scary with maybe 1 mars bar you ordered yourself as company

last halloween, things got so depressing that I actually ordered myself a toy alien

I looked like a right ****ing idiot halloween night, sitting by my window waving a toy around and pressing buttons on it's side which made the toy make screaming sounds and other spooky sounds