[Patagonia]

For about 2 yrs I got back to enjoying shopping for myself. It was empowering for me.
Now this past yr, well, it just makes me feel horrible! And I even have my own money I made set aside, just for me, so I wouldn't run into guilt issues there.
I'm sure I can just keep wearing what I have tho.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Yeah, it's fine. You'll try again when the time is right.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Yeah, it's fine. You'll try again when the time is right.

Thank you! And thank you for listening too. I really appreciate it. Sometimes I feel like I'm posting to outer space.

[PsychNitrous]

I've been feeling really sad lately. I'm trying to really dedicate myself to therapy and getting better, but it's hard. Last session we talked about looking back at why I have such low self-esteem and don't think positively about myself. I realize it's because I've never felt like I'm anything special. I've never been popular or felt like I really fit in anywhere, I've just existed on the edges. I'm not sure how to change that, but I want to try.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Thank you! And thank you for listening too. I really appreciate it. Sometimes I feel like I'm posting to outer space.

But Patagonia.... I AM in outer space.

I always read the posts on this thread carefully, and wish everyone well. Sorry you're struggling with this. Anything I can do to help?

[nikon]

lol, Purple Violet Blue - has britain now exited earth entirely?

Patagonia - not sure if you've written about it before, apologies if you have - why don't you enjoy shopping? I can relate a bit but mine is mostly guilt about spending money. i guess even if I have money I can afford to spend i feel really bad spending it, like i shouldn't, or even like the pleasure of buying something is worthless because it will be eclipsed by the let down afterwards (let down of.... uh, just the new feeling wearing off).

i had a good evening; spent time with friends and went to a meeting. i am seriously struggling with my coursework though. i feel physically horrible when i try to sit down to do it, like i'm crawling out of my skin. don't know if it's anxiety, or the mother of all procrastination/laziness.

[Sunflower123]

Having a really bad day. I can’t seem to get my act together and get on the ball. I can’t keep putting my life off until “tomorrow”. Why does it seem so hard?

Sending big hugs for those that are struggling.

A rough day for me. Feeling quite low, and have been struggling with anxiety as well. It is hard to force myself to do anything productive when I feel like this. I just took a bath and consider even that an accomplishment of sorts. Sending out hugs to anyone else having a rough day.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Having a really bad day. I can’t seem to get my act together and get on the ball. I can’t keep putting my life off until “tomorrow”. Why does it seem so hard?

Sending big hugs for those that are struggling.

Are you still struggling with breaking the habits you developed before the meds started working?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by nikon

lol, Purple Violet Blue - has britain now exited earth entirely?

Patagonia - not sure if you've written about it before, apologies if you have - why don't you enjoy shopping? I can relate a bit but mine is mostly guilt about spending money. i guess even if I have money I can afford to spend i feel really bad spending it, like i shouldn't, or even like the pleasure of buying something is worthless because it will be eclipsed by the let down afterwards (let down of.... uh, just the new feeling wearing off).

i had a good evening; spent time with friends and went to a meeting. i am seriously struggling with my coursework though. i feel physically horrible when i try to sit down to do it, like i'm crawling out of my skin. don't know if it's anxiety, or the mother of all procrastination/laziness.

Yes, Britain has now left the earth. There was a stupid vote. We'll all die a lonely death up here, but at least we'll be independent.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

But Patagonia.... I AM in outer space.


I always read the posts on this thread carefully, and wish everyone well. Sorry you're struggling with this. Anything I can do to help?

Thanks. I'm just glad to be heard.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Thanks. I'm just glad to be heard.

Big hug.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

Are you still struggling with breaking the habits you developed before the meds started working?

Very much so. I feel like I got this break and I’m squandering it. Instead of making progress I’m standing still and I’m afraid the depression will come back anytime and I’ll have blown it.

Yesterday was an alright kind of day but nothing exciting to report about. I went out last night to walk around the downtown area near where I live. I do it about every two months. It wasn't too exciting but it was nice to get out for an evening. I don't get out at night very often.

Today has not been nice so far. Went to church and felt like I wasn't connecting very well. Perhaps it could be time to try somewhere else. I feel like I have not found a real good church in years. I wonder if depression causes it?

I called my sister at 11AM instead of waiting for her to call. She said that her family was having lunch. I thought that it was odd being 2PM (where she and I live the time difference is 3 hours). She said that she would call back an hour later. I was OK with that. But then she called back 10 minutes later to tell me that she promised her daughter to give her a driving lesson. Why didn't she tell me that when I called her? For some strange reason, I got remembering reading articles about people trying to reach out to dysfunctional families, and that they ended up sorry that they did.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Very much so. I feel like I got this break and I’m squandering it. Instead of making progress I’m standing still and I’m afraid the depression will come back anytime and I’ll have blown it.

That's an understandable fear, though I hope you can go a little easy on yourself. You're a perfectionist at heart...is it possible you're expecting too much of yourself at the moment? I only ask because when I have my good days, I tend to regard myself as being almost back to my old self, and then I bite off more than I can chew. I still need to take smaller steps, even on days when I feel great.

Anyhow, keeping you in my thoughts.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

That's an understandable fear, though I hope you can go a little easy on yourself. You're a perfectionist at heart...is it possible you're expecting too much of yourself at the moment? I only ask because when I have my good days, I tend to regard myself as being almost back to my old self, and then I bite off more than I can chew. I still need to take smaller steps, even on days when I feel great.

Anyhow, keeping you in my thoughts.

You’re absolutely right. Thank you for reminding me. I took a deep breath and tore up my project and to do list. I feel relieved. I’ll take small steps now.

Thank you for your input. I appreciate you.

[JustTvTroping]

Feeling great! Now I just need to stop procrastinating and cook some food.

Today ended up a pretty good day, considering. At the beginning of today I felt frustrated about life and stuff. But later on, things worked out OK. But still it could have been better.

I took a two hour bike ride this afternoon. I could have gone for more, but it was very hot outside. For the last half of the ride, I unexpectedly came across a man who was with his two early teen boys. They were nice. The father and I did the talking to each other. He was really nice. It was too bad we couldn't make a connection with each other (just as a friend).

My sister called me when she said that she would call me (at 5PM). At first I had asked her why she didn't tell me that she was taking her daughter out for a drive. Because she had said that she'd call me in a hour; and then called ten minutes later about her daughter. My sister said that she had forgotten about the promise she made with her daughter. My sister has been very forgetful about things lately. We did have a nice talk. But it seemed like a bit of a struggle for her to keep awake.

[nikon]

sending thoughts to those who are in a bad space today.

i'm having a kind of erratic day. tried to read through a textbook for my coursework and it was like having to read and reread sentences three times just to try to understand what they were saying. I don't know if i just go through periods of disinterest or if there's something up with my concentration. i do struggle to concentrate in general.

i almost had two traffic accidents today; i drive a motorbike. the first one i missed by inches, and the second one escalated because the other motorist got really angry and basically drove really dangerously to pass me. i always try to allow for the fact that they might be on their way to a relative in hospital but that didn't really work this time when he was basically endangering my life and it was a second time for today. it's **** because i get so angry i picture killing people, but now i just feel exhausted and checked out and have a headache. i'm really struggling to think straight

[regretful]

The old saying "never say never" is in the forefront of my mind today. I said I'd never find myself in this depressed state again, but as the days pass, I get closer to it...Just in a bad space, angry, tearful, tired, no appetite...but as always, my hope is that those of us struggling find a moment's peace today.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Starting to pull out of a bad spell.

That was Friday. I felt really better, relieved that I was coming out of a bad episode.

But, Saturday, I fell off the cliff. It got even way worse than it had been. Sat. and Sun. were a nightmare. This is the worst I've gone through in years.

The worst is how bad I feel about myself . . . just disgusted.

[PsychNitrous]

I'm just sad still. Usually I can blame this on hormones, but I can't right now. I don't know what's causing this, but I just feel so bad.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Tough weekend and Monday for quite a few of us. Love to everyone above.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Rose76

That was Friday. I felt really better, relieved that I was coming out of a bad episode.

But, Saturday, I fell off the cliff. It got even way worse than it had been. Sat. and Sun. were a nightmare. This is the worst I've gone through in years.

The worst is how bad I feel about myself . . . just disgusted.

How are you now,, Rose?

[Rose76]

Better than I was. Thank you.

Hugs to all who are having a hard time.