[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by nikon

hey everyone. sending thoughts to those of you who are in a dark place today.

it feels like i haven't been on here for ages. for a week or so i think i was in a great frame of mind, and i've been doing my studying etc. for the last couple of days i'm still ok but something feels weird. like, in my head, something feels jarring, like the mental equivalent of leaving the house forgetting to change out of pyjamas. I've been reading adult content stuff online, like stories, and one part of me thinks it's a perfectly normal part of being human, but another part of me feels like it's a "sin" and makes me dirty and a bad person. i'm not in a relationship and don't really want to be in one. i don't know why it feels so bad, i'm not religious at all and had minimal exposure to religion growing up.

i've been socialising a lot more, which is great, and volunteering, but i'm scared of telling my therapist about the above paragraph, because i feel like he disapproves. i also am just feeling exhausted a lot of the time and hungry all the time. like sometimes if there's food near me i can't stop obsessing about it.... i am in recovery from an eating disorder and have messed up my hunger cues so much i have no idea what is real hunger, what is emotional cravings, what is medication hunger etc.

Good to see you, Nikon. Glad you've been socialising etc. Your therapist wouldn't disapprove of the adult material, surely? It is normal; hope you can set aside the 'sin' idea.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by wool&plaid

Hi! I've never posted on this thread before and I'm kind of new so here goes:
This weekend was rough and confusing and I returned to some harmful behaviours that haven't been an issue in many years. I thought I was getting better and I know its not a linear path but it was still disappointing.
But today is monday, 11.30 and I am out of bed, dressed, had coffee and toast and I am going to try to just move on. The problem is that I don't have quite enough motivation to move beyond the harmful things right now. I feel like I'm faking my way through normal life.

Welcome to the rollercoaster!

Sorry you're struggling.

[JustTvTroping]

Why? Why why WHY?! The apartment management got switched the day before rent was due and the website we use to pay it is gone! It seems like I can't even have stability in my own home since this is the 3rd time management has been switched. I just wish that for just two measly years, things can be consistent and stable in my life. Just two!

The days have gotten so short. It definitely doesn't help with depression.
At least I was up this morning and got the winter tires on, cut my dad's hair and saw my older son. It was nice to get out. Tomorrow the weather changes and it will definitely be snowy and winter like weather, and it makes it hard to get myself to go out.
I spend most days alone, other then my teenager who is gone more of the time doing his own things. I'm very lonely. I don't know how to make myself get out and do something useful.... been talking about volunteering for years and I have too much anxiety over it. Also my back and hips are sore again. It feels good to come back and just let out my feelings, I like the advice above about getting those feelings out.

I'm doing okay. I'm feeling more hopeful.

Today was a kind of day of having lots of little things go wrong. As I explained earlier I got my result back from a blood test and it wasn't stellar. And then I brought the wrong thing for lunch, but I did work it out. And I had to deal with problems that happened to make other people unhappy, but I had no control over it.

There's someone at work whom I talk to at times. I told him about my blood test result. He said, "that's not good". I wish people would cut out that phrase. Why do they say that? Like I didn't know that it wasn't good? Also another phrase that I hate is "hang in there!"

[Rose76]

I actually had a pretty good day.

[regretful]

Doing the best I can with the cards that I've been dealt. I wish all of you a moment or two of peace during your struggles today.

[katydid777]

Today started out bad. I woke with a migraine, and my bones hurting. I took some meds, and had 2 cups of strong hot tea. Then I helped my husband move our wood burning stove, and cleaned it, and the pips out. Then I cleaned the mess up, and rearranged other furniture to work with the stove. So for the rest of the day I will be waiting on a call from a lady about a male black lab puppy. Please y'all pray that this lady will accept us, ant the things she require to get this pup. Thank you all! (((hoping)))

[wool&plaid]

Originally Posted by purple,violet,blue

welcome to the rollercoaster!

Sorry you're struggling.

weeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by wool&plaid

weeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3

Ha ha exactly!

There are lows. But there are HIGHS.

Wait, it's mostly lows...

Come to think of it, this might be the worst rollercoaster in the world.

But at least we're not alone. There's someone else screaming beside us

New thread is here https://forums.psychcentral.com/depr...ml#post5930656