[regretful]

In the midst of many business decisions, which is causing insomnia, emotional distress, apathy...more...not sure how much more I can take. But I'm nowhere near where I was years ago. Still no medication, I can still get up daily and go to the gym/office/home, but it's that undercurrent of depression...I can literally feel it bubbling under the surface. Thanks for reading this. As always, I hope that those of us struggling can find even a moment's peace today.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

I've been sinking these last few days. I didn't really notice it until today. I'm isolating more, with both nearby and online friends, and I feel bad about it. The volatile internal critic has been pointing out everything I hate about myself lately, and it's taking its toll. I need to shut it up, somehow.

mehhhhh

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

I've been sinking these last few days. I didn't really notice it until today. I'm isolating more, with both nearby and online friends, and I feel bad about it. The volatile internal critic has been pointing out everything I hate about myself lately, and it's taking its toll. I need to shut it up, somehow.

I’m sorry you are struggling and hope you feel better soon. Hopefully, you can find a way to shut that internal critic up because actually you are quite wonderful. Sending best wishes and big hugs.

[Rose76]

Bjornen - I want to join my voice to Jennifer's in saying that you are of much greater worth than that internal critic is acknowledging. I think whay you're hearing is the voice of the devil - the "father of lies." Ignore. ((((HUGS))))

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

I've been sinking these last few days. I didn't really notice it until today. I'm isolating more, with both nearby and online friends, and I feel bad about it. The volatile internal critic has been pointing out everything I hate about myself lately, and it's taking its toll. I need to shut it up, somehow.

Sending well wishes your way and some duck tape to shush that critic. You're In my thoughts and prayers.

[Rose76]

It's been awful today. I have felt like I can't adjust to this new reality. It involves a few things, one of which is worsening tinnitus. This serms so unfair for this to happen to me right now. But that's life.

I asked for help and didn't get the kind of help I wanted in the way that I wanted. That's life too.

I know that I'm thick-headed. When the storm blows, bend or break.

Maybe I can make the remainder of the day be not so bad . . . . . try to find something to enjoy.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by Rose76

It's been awful today. I have felt like I can't adjust to this new reality. It involves a few things, one of which is worsening tinnitus. This serms so unfair for this to happen to me right now. But that's life.

I asked for help and didn't get the kind of help I wanted in the way that I wanted. That's life too.

I know that I'm thick-headed. When the storm blows, bend or break.

Maybe I can make the remainder of the day be not so bad . . . . . try to find something to enjoy.

Bend don't break. Keep your head high, some of the positive energy you spread is due you, your efforts are not in vein. I hope your day ends/ended well and wish you a fantastic tomorrow... be well and be good to you!

[nikon]

I'm feeling a little bit unsure, almost like the good mood I've had going since sunday is bound to come to an end soon. I think some of it is because I am not very busy, and I feel quite empty and like there's nothing I really feel like doing. I'm meditating a lot but that kind of makes me feel weird, zoned out and almost drugged... not happy. I mean, relaxed too, but not happy and energetic. I'm in a kind of frustrating space where one of the few places I get to talk about stuff is therapy, so I look forward to going there all week because it's one of my only emotional/mental outlets. The rest of the week all my thoughts and feelings just pile up because I don't have close relationships where I talk about stuff and people understand or the stuff gets heard. I'm not a good relationship person. sometimes I feel so excruciatingly alone and lonely.

[regretful]

Rough sleep last night...first round of insomnia in quite some time, and I hope that is not a harbinger of doom as sleeplessness was the start of my most serious bout of depression in my life. I'm still up an at my office - doing what I can to keep a business afloat in tough economic times - but like many afflicted with depression, am scared and alone. Thanks again for reading this. It helps to know that there is someone out there, and as always, I wish, for all of us here, to find a moment's peace today.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by regretful

Rough sleep last night...first round of insomnia in quite some time, and I hope that is not a harbinger of doom as sleeplessness was the start of my most serious bout of depression in my life. I'm still up an at my office - doing what I can to keep a business afloat in tough economic times - but like many afflicted with depression, am scared and alone. Thanks again for reading this. It helps to know that there is someone out there, and as always, I wish, for all of us here, to find a moment's peace today.

We are here. I’m sorry you are having a rough time. Hopefully your insomnia will resolve itself but I can certainly identify with the emotions in your last two posts. Wishing you well and sending big hugs. Thank you for the moment of peace.

[Rose76]

Starting to pull out of a bad spell.

[Etherin]

How do people enjoy life?

Been feeling alright lately. Yet I wonder about the future of the place I work at. It seems like they are so in to cost cutting. I've had to answer to shipping labels that I had sent out. That has never happened before.

The weekend is here. I'm OK about it but I feel more isolated. I feel that it's nice having some alone time, but the weekends can seem to be too much for me in being alone. There are times when I feel that the very best social life that I've had is all behind me. It will probably never be that great ever again.

Also, there's supposed to be some good money coming my way and it hasn't come yet. Very slow at getting to me.

[Rose76]

I've been feeling good for the past 12 hours.

[nikon]

sending thoughts to everyone who is struggling today

i'm not really struggling but not in a great space. sometimes I get this really empty, uncomfortable feeling that nothing seems to soothe, and it doesn't feel better if i hang out with people, stay by myself, watch tv, meditate, go shopping or anything. just uneasy and restless. today I woke up thinking it was sunday and it took me an hour to realise it was saturday. I'm feeling really apathetic about everything. i worry that when i talk to my therapist i won't be able to say the things i want to say because i find it difficult to talk. i know some things i want to say but have this argument in my head that convinces me i shouldn't say anything because it's weak, it's asking for attention, it's trying to remain the victim, it's carrying on acting like there's something wrong with me etc. part of me knows that there's no point in going if i don't just ----ing talk but there's always this frustrating inner argument.

[mountainstream]

I’m sad and angry.

I feel like I'm having a squabble with my friend. I have invited him to my place. He thinks that he can't make it today. I don't know why. I just get the feeling he only wants me to come to his place; and he never wants to come to mine. I don't think this is fair. I don't like going to his place, but I do it anyways. I'm getting the feeling that we may be splitting up. I don't see any point in just talking over the phone and then we won't see each other. Besides, he's not the very best friend I could have. But it's hard because he's all that I have. Sometimes I feel like with me being alone, people will take advantage of me.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Feel so lonely Got no one, my bf is holiday and never messages me, I have to message him to get him to message me. My online friend doesn't speak to me much anymore. I'm all alone.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Slept most of the day.

Typical Saturday today. I was hoping that my friend would come to visit but he didn't come. Just now we had a talk about that. He says that it's difficult for him to take public transportation because of his eye sight. I know that he has bad vision and stuff, but he has talked about taking buses to places that were pretty far from home. When I first knew him, he could drive and he did come to visit. He said that he wishes it could be like that.

I was busy with stuff today, the usual stuff. It seemed like I made it a very early day and had some good amount of time to myself this afternoon. Oh, I got my paycheck in the mail today!

Originally Posted by will19

Oh, I got my paycheck in the mail today!

About time!

As for me, I had a rough few days, and this next week is going to be rougher. However, I was able to relax today. I feel a little more optimistic about my ability to handle scary situations tonight. Maybe I can handle the upcoming hardships. Just maybe.

You all are a nice shoulder to lean on. I appreciate it.

[Patagonia]

I had boosted myself esteem up for a few days in a row to get ready to take myself shopping. So many positive things I was saying....feeling....things I wanted....I was ready!

I froze as soon as I was in the store. Dammit!!! This has been going on for almost a yr & ive just started to love shopping again. Now I'm back to waves & waves of such negative, evil talk in my head....I just quit. It's like a volcano is erupting & I run for the door to be safe.
I'm so frustrated!

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Sorry to hear that, Patagonia. Well done for trying.

I'm feeling slightly better after a lot of silence and inactivity.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Sorry to hear that, Patagonia. Well done for trying.

I'm feeling slightly better after a lot of silence and inactivity.