depression for a real reason

I don't know what's worse, being depressed for no reason or being depressed because something bad has happened.
I went to my gynocologist last week to get test results of a biopsy back and it came back very bad and they want me to have this procedure called a leep which i had once last year which in the long run is bad for when it comes time for pregnancy. ALl I want in life is to have a baby, I was told I would have a very high risk pregnancy and they would have to stitch me up inside to hold a baby in. That killled me. AND he wants me to see a cancer specialist because my condition is very rare in someone my age )21) and they don't know why this is happening to me. I am so freaked out. CANCER specialist?? I was supposed to call yesterday to make an appointment but this is just too scary to face. I had a great weekend with my boyfriend, didn't think about this but now it's staring me in the face. This is way to hard to deal with. I don't know what to do.

Please don't let this get the best of you!
I have had dysplasia. I have had cryosurgery and all kids of stuff, and I've been blessed with 3 beautifull children (two of them high risk pregnancies, one of them at risk of developmental problems but turned out ok). Yes, I lost one during the first trimester but I got another one afterwords! So I have my three angels here and one watching over from up above.

PLEASE MAKE THAT CALL, it may be crusial to be able to be a mommy one day ... by the way, my female health issues started when I was 20.

gab

you definately helped. I never thought of speeding this up helping having a baby. I'd say you are so lucky having 3 but I'm sure you know that
Thanks.