[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Why does it matter if I die?
Seriously... What do I matter?
I am just another body taking up space, using up resources
Death - why should I fear it?
What has it done to me?
Life has taken everything away.
So why does it matter?

[CepheidVariable]

Another night where I feel my posting mojo is failing me ... it's a recurring thing with me.

But I also have trouble thinking of anything to say to someone who is so thoughtful, helpful, and has such deep feelings and insight into their own psyche.

I'd like to think all that has to count for something. That it has to matter somehow.

You know I wouldn't tell you how to feel. I just have to say something, because it's you -- and now is when you need it.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

Another night where I feel my posting mojo is failing me ... it's a recurring thing with me.

But I also have trouble thinking of anything to say to someone who is so thoughtful, helpful, and has such deep feelings and insight into their own psyche.

I'd like to think all that has to count for something. That it has to matter somehow.

You know I wouldn't tell you how to feel. I just have to say something, because it's you -- and now is when you need it.

Just knowing you care is a lot - thank you ❤

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Why does it matter if I die?
Seriously... What do I matter?
I am just another body taking up space, using up resources
Death - why should I fear it?
What has it done to me?
Life has taken everything away.
So why does it matter?

It sounds like you are really having a hard time at the moment . I felt so bad last week I mean it was so bad I just really didn't want to be alive and I couldn't get any help from professionals despite trying everyone . I really thought i would feel like that forever , but it passed . it will pass for you too. Is there anything in your life you are not happy with and want to change ?

And by the way it does matter ! It would matter to me if you wasn't here and I'm sure it would matter to others on here too .

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

It sounds like you are really having a hard time at the moment . I felt so bad last week I mean it was so bad I just really didn't want to be alive and I couldn't get any help from professionals despite trying everyone . I really thought i would feel like that forever , but it passed . it will pass for you too. Is there anything in your life you are not happy with and want to change ?

And by the way it does matter ! It would matter to me if you wasn't here and I'm sure it would matter to others on here too .

That's the problem - the things I want changed I keep changing but it doesn't matter...they turn out the same.

Thank you for saying it matters.

[MtnTime2896]

I have no big-picture answers here. All I know is you help me a lot when I'm down (and I mean really down). Is everything all better with me, hell no. But knowing you're there, knowing I can talk to you, knowing that you're not only listening but also searching for solutions; Crypts, it helps. I can't tell you the big-picture, I can only tell you what's in my personal frame, but you matter to me. It's selfish and I'm not the best person to have as a friend (I quit talking for days to months and I don't always know what to say), but I consider you a friend. I lost someone recently. I don't want to lose you, too.

I don't expect this to change your mind, nor am I under the illusion that this will take all your pain away, but you asked why it mattered. Well, this is why you matter to me. And I'm not the only one you've helped here.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I feel the same way.

A lot of us here are having moments of believing we don't belong in this world. But when I look at the other members of the forum, I can see that their issues don't mean they are any less human or deserving of a place. In fact, their difficulties might make them more human.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

That's the problem - the things I want changed I keep changing but it doesn't matter...they turn out the same.

Thank you for saying it matters.

Do you know why you are feeling the way you do or did it just come from nowhere ?

[WishIWereAStone]

Oh Crypts, for the short time we have known each other you have gained an important place in my attention. I look forward to speaking with you each day and saddened to see that you are hurting so deeply, the same hurt we have discussed and know there is nothing I can do to make that magically disappear but I would if I could. You know you are important to a lot of people and if we have to keep reminding you of it we will !

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Crypts ))))))))
I care about you

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I have no big-picture answers here. All I know is you help me a lot when I'm down (and I mean really down). Is everything all better with me, hell no. But knowing you're there, knowing I can talk to you, knowing that you're not only listening but also searching for solutions; Crypts, it helps. I can't tell you the big-picture, I can only tell you what's in my personal frame, but you matter to me. It's selfish and I'm not the best person to have as a friend (I quit talking for days to months and I don't always know what to say), but I consider you a friend. I lost someone recently. I don't want to lose you, too.

I don't expect this to change your mind, nor am I under the illusion that this will take all your pain away, but you asked why it mattered. Well, this is why you matter to me. And I'm not the only one you've helped here.

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Pain like that is almost unbearable, sometimes I have to wonder if we, as humans, were designed to handle it. I am still not "over" my mom's passing and that happened over 30 years ago.

No matter how many times you tell me you are not a good friend, I will always believe you are. Depression and many other mental health issues cause us to isolate at times. That does not make us a "bad" anything - it makes us human. You are always there for me though even in your worst of times when you see I truly need someone - that's friendship ❤

I care for you because you too are a friend to me, so whenever I see or know of you hurting or in trouble l will be there.

Thank you for saying you care. It means a lot.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I feel the same way.

A lot of us here are having moments of believing we don't belong in this world. But when I look at the other members of the forum, I can see that their issues don't mean they are any less human or deserving of a place. In fact, their difficulties might make them more human.

I know I am not less human - but sometimes, I just don't want this life. In fact - really - all the time lately. But sometimes, I argue with myself if I am a bad person or not too - and that hurts bc logically I know I am not n yet in those times, I can't convince myself of that no matter how much logic I use to fight it.

Just tired of the pain that is my life.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

Do you know why you are feeling the way you do or did it just come from nowhere ?

It stems from a lifetime of abuse - then being granted a 3 year reprieve - only to have it restart again.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by WishIWereAStone

Oh Crypts, for the short time we have known each other you have gained an important place in my attention. I look forward to speaking with you each day and saddened to see that you are hurting so deeply, the same hurt we have discussed and know there is nothing I can do to make that magically disappear but I would if I could. You know you are important to a lot of people and if we have to keep reminding you of it we will !

Thank you for saying you would make my pain disappear if you could n that many (including you) care. I know we have only known each other for a short while but I do consider you a good friend. Thank you for your friendship. ❤

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

(((((((( Crypts ))))))))
I care about you

I care about you too Fuzzy. I just don't generally care about life anymore. Thank you for the hugs. *hugs back* You are a sweet person and your words mean a lot to me ❤

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Why does it matter if I die?
Seriously... What do I matter?
I am just another body taking up space, using up resources
Death - why should I fear it?
What has it done to me?
Life has taken everything away.
So why does it matter?

It's possible that - in the grand, cosmic scheme of things - it doesn't matter.

Philosophers have been kicking that around for thousands of years. In another thousand years, they'll still be kicking it around.

People of Faith tell us that each of us matters to the mind of God as if no one else existed . . . that we are each infinitely loved.

A poet, Matthew Arnold had this commentary on that:

"The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night." From: Dover Beach

The message there, I think, is that we don't matter, except as we matter to someone. That's as good an explanation of the pain of loneliness as I've yet found. The poet tells his love that they must matter to each other, if they are to matter at all.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Rose76

It's possible that - in the grand, cosmic scheme of things - it doesn't matter.

I agree.

[Rose76]

I watched a nature show recently that showed how a pod of killer whales team up to catch a seal. It was a juvenile seal. After catching it, the whales spend 40 minutes tossing it around, while whale after whale took turns catching it and tossing it. It remained alive throughout all this, desperately looking for a route of escape. Whales have to eat seals to survive. But what purpose was served by torturing the young seal? Well it might have been just for sport. Then one theory says it is to "debilitate" the seal, so the seal will be unable to bite and claw at the whale who attempts to eat it. It seems everything in nature serves a purpose.

It was heart wrenching to watch - the young seal swimming around within the small area encircled by whales, only to be recaught over and over and over, and tossed into the air over and over. This is the world we live in. This is what the mind of the creator hath wrought. Or this is what a mindless universe has evolved into.

This world is a brutal, merciless place. We are trapped here to soak up a great deal of pain. And we meet our needs by causing a great deal of pain. The plight of animals being raised to provide us with food is pretty horrifying. (Google: "industrial farming." That glass of creamy milk I so enjoy comes from a cow whose calf was wrenched away from her. She mourns for her calf, who mourns for its mother.)

Apparently, life cannot exist without all this suffering. Or, at least, it couldn't be so beautiful. The lion is magnificently powerful, so that it can kill. The gazelle is beautiful in the fleetness of its running and leaping, and that speed and agility is only there so that it can escape predators. Having to elude the claws and teeth of what chases it is why a herd animal is so pretty. Without "the hunt," all bloody and gruesome, there'ld be less beauty on the savannah. Without the efficiency of modern animal husbandry producing our meat and milk, we'ld still be living like Neanderthals.

So misery is hard-wired into the general scheme of life. We endure suffering, and we cause suffering. We're born; we die. Maybe, part of the time, we are happy. A lot of the time we're not. Dying is usually an unpleasant ordeal. Eventually, each of us will go through that. We have the option of bringing it about sooner. Thirty to forty thousand Americans will arrange that annually. Some of them are deeply mourned by family and friends. Some of them are not. Either way, life goes on.

[vojvoda365]

HI,

¿ had same question in my head few days ago, and after some thinking i realized the answer: Present.

As past existed(depending on perception and perspective and maybe most important position of life) and future might exist.

Anyone from Munich, Germany?
Lost their some items during bp.

Thanks,
ŽARE

[1978dd]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Why does it matter if I die?

Seriously... What do I matter?

I am just another body taking up space, using up resources

Death - why should I fear it?

What has it done to me?

Life has taken everything away.

So why does it matter?

You matter to me!

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by 1978dd

You matter to me!

I don't even know you - so this actually means a lot!
Thank you ❤

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you are having a tough time. Is there any way to escape the abuse? You help many people here. The universe would have a Crypts sized hole that nobody else could fill if you weren’t here. You matter. Thinking of you.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry you are having a tough time. Is there any way to escape the abuse? You help many people here. The universe would have a Crypts sized hole that nobody else could fill if you weren’t here. You matter. Thinking of you.

He understands he is abusing me n says he is not proud of it - so I am "cautiously" giving him a chance - meanwhile experiencing pain at times (emotional). Thank you for caring So much n saying I matter ❤

[tinamehl5]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Why does it matter if I die?
Seriously... What do I matter?
I am just another body taking up space, using up resources
Death - why should I fear it?
What has it done to me?
Life has taken everything away.
So why does it matter?

But you matter to "someone" right? Your mother, a friend. How would they feel if you weren't here?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

How are you today, Crypts?