[nowheretorun]

One of the results of my depression, since I had lost my sense of humor, was to look at things in a more serious way. Things that most others would laugh off easily i would contemplate... a lot of reflection time i guess...

this activity also seperated me from many... can anyone relate?

[bipolar_bear]

I find that with depression things become overwhelming. I often isolate too which can be very lonely. You are heard here.

BB

[Fuzzybear]

I relate dear nowhere

[nowheretorun]

thanks fuzzy and bb... i wonder, do you think this has helped or harmed you?... perhaps it is grey... i fear that the isolation has made me be my own blackboard, checking my own theories in a vaccum, but i still enjoy the discussions whenever possible if someone will take time with me, but few have done the imagining i have and often i spiral off alone, into isolation again... and speaking of isolation, would you say there are times you prefer it, even need it? for me it seems that way, but always i come back around, needing to connect... and not always finding the connection i need...just curious what your thoughts are... love...

Yes I dissossiate or isolate and it is no good for me. I just want to hide away and be by myself. I have to stop myself doing it on a regular basis. Sometimes I just cant. I atually wrote a couple of poems about it recently in cc.

I have 2 teens so I have to be there but it is sooooo hard. To be on my own for a week somewhere in complete solitude by mountains and lakes would be my dream right now this second.

I can dream,,,,,,

Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxo

[bipolar_bear]

The problem with isolation is that those trying to support me can't. Then the feeling of being all alone increase and it becomes a viscious cycle. I tend to dwell on things more than introspection. It is not very good for me overall.

BB

[nowheretorun]

(((((((((((((((jinnyann)))))))))))))))))

yeah, i remember one day, still had my son with me and the full reality of my inevitable breakup with my wife hit me that day... so sick, i curled up in a ball and lay on the floor moaning... my son wanted to play... i tried but it was no good... other times after with him too were like that... i realized the best thing for him was to be with his mom... hardest thing i ever had to do...

i hope you get some time in peaceful life giving surroundings jinny, it did me so much good... hated being alone at times but then i could look from a different angle too... all the suffering and stress others were experiencing was spared me during times alone... i could just enjoy a place of Gods' great beauty and choose peace...

[nowheretorun]

i can relate bb... guess it really depends on my mood if i enjoy the solitude... sometimes i enjoy where i am, what i feel, what i see so much i think it would be great if there was another one there with me, just to feel how i'm feeling in that moment... other times my solitude is a healing time, not good for anyone to be around cause all i can feel is darkness, but i'm learning how it passes...

still, i think i am grateful for my ability to contemplate... i wonder if God may have put me through some of these things because the "undepressed" don't look deeper at issues that really, as a whole, people need to examine, so humanity as a group can mature... i guess i'm saying there may be an upside to depression.... what a mind-bender... i know this line of thinking is out of the norm, but i can't help feel there is some weight to it...any input is appreciated

[Doh2007]

I forget which one it was, but there's a personality test that claims that people who are a little depressed see the world more clearly than others...or maybe it was the other way around.

[nowheretorun]

thanks doh, i'd like to think it's the former... maybe since we see it in a non-typical way and since there is little support from the majority, we begin to question what we see and what follows is confusion, uncertainty...

sometimes I still curl up on the floor and just come out with gut wrenching sobs, real animal noises, these times I think the healing is in process, my inner child, hurt, confusion coming out, it drains me.

Kerry xoxoxoxox

[nowheretorun]

(((((((((((((((((jinnyann))))))))))))))))))