[Aardwolf]

Where do i start.. It feels like the last few months have taken forever. Somehow i'm still here though.

My motivation is zero at the moment. Completing basic tasks like washing, cleaning etc seem to take the energy of a thousand people.

Everything is affected at the moment.. my eating has basically gone, although somehow i'm still fat. work is just about hanging in there. I get home and all i can think of is how quickly i can get to sleep to avoid having to think about doing anything else..

I hate this. I hate what i've become.

[Wild Coyote]

Depression saps our energy. I keep trying.
Is it time for a med adjustment? Maybe?


WC

[SorryShaped]

For SorryShaped: Weather^{cold | rainy | cloudy | wintery} = low energy = depression.
Does your energy lift when weather does?
What do you usually do to combat depression?
Is there anything that brings you joy, even in the tiniest amounts?
Sometimes that one little distraction can help to lift mood, even when we don't want to do it initially.
Hopefully my oddball sense of humor at least made someone smile, with my nonsensical usage of math terms.

[Aardwolf]

I had a med adjustment recently, and i did help.. until recently.. I don't know what changed.
I find my mood stays pretty constant regardless of what mother nature is doing to be perfectly hoenest.
Usually i ignore it to be hoenst.. I'm in Therapy at the moment.. Had to backtrack from CBT as I wasn't in the right place to apply the tips and tricks from it.
Honestly, alcohol helps, but i'm trying to avoid that at the moment.
You nearly raised a grin, i'll be honest. though it took me a few reads to figure out why the odd characters were there (my sense of humor oddly enough is largely intact)

[SorryShaped]

I appreciate all your honesty. I would guard against alcohol use, but I've gone that route before too, though it really only made matters worse, but I didn't know because I was blasted the whole time. Problems still persisted or stewed in their own crapulence.
The desire to booze it up... I wanted to drink this morning of all times because even the prazosin isn't helping this new batch of nightmares, but decided I'd rather try all four of the exercise classes today, after I hit the elliptical for 32 minutes. Great success!
Do you meditate or exercise or something positive to help?

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. I hope you start feeling better soon. I’ve been there...you’re not alone. Sending big hugs.

[SorryShaped]

ACQPL, how are you today?

[mountainstream]

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry to hear you're tired. Depression can drain a lot of energy.

[Fuzzybear]

[Aardwolf]

Managed to make it to work, so that kept me distracted for 8 hours. Oddly I tend to be fine at work... It's just after when I get home then it feels like I've been hit by a train..
It's amazing how at a time like this, I reach out to people irl, and I might as well not exist.. I don't know why I'm suprised by it.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

Managed to make it to work, so that kept me distracted for 8 hours. Oddly I tend to be fine at work... It's just after when I get home then it feels like I've been hit by a train..
It's amazing how at a time like this, I reach out to people irl, and I might as well not exist.. I don't know why I'm suprised by it.

I totally get all of this. Not entirely from your perspective, but very similar. When I'm not at "home" I have the drive, but as soon as I am, BAM, nothing. I push myself really hard to do things here and do get some done, with the aid of copious cups o' coffee. It's probably not healthy the amount I consume sometimes.
I have nobody in real life I can talk to, except my therapist. I'm beginning to realize that I'm not going to have an intimate, real relationship. I use the word "intimate" not to mean sexual, but where I can bare my soul and know that I'll not be pushed away. I think it's because I need to learn to have that relationship with myself first. That is very hard for me, to open up to myself.

Originally Posted by ACQPL

Where do i start.. It feels like the last few months have taken forever. Somehow i'm still here though.

My motivation is zero at the moment. Completing basic tasks like washing, cleaning etc seem to take the energy of a thousand people.

Everything is affected at the moment.. my eating has basically gone, although somehow i'm still fat. work is just about hanging in there. I get home and all i can think of is how quickly i can get to sleep to avoid having to think about doing anything else..

I hate this. I hate what i've become.

I can relate similarly with you OP. The struggle is real in Life. It can be really difficult to find motivation when depressed. Perhaps drinking yerbamate could help boost people's energy

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by techlife95

I can relate similarly with you OP. The struggle is real in Life. It can be really difficult to find motivation when depressed. Perhaps drinking yerbamate could help boost people's energy

Careful with Yerba. It has an maoi-like effect and can intermingle with meds heavily. That doesn't stop me from using it, but we all see how "great" I'm doing. I'm also using kava, kratom, and 5-htp

[Cocosurviving]

Your correct trying to even do basic task are hard when your depressed. I have to break things up into small daily task. I try to do a little each day and when I do complete something I feel good.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

Your correct trying to even do basic task are hard when your depressed. I have to break things up into small daily task. I try to do a little each day and when I do complete something I feel good.

I make lists too. I wait until I feel angry or aggro and then I haul a55 and get it all done at once. Little bits here and there leave me feeling stretched

[Aardwolf]

I tried lists again the other day. It literally paralysed me into doing absolutely nothing all day. It's ****ing pathetic.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

I tried lists again the other day. It literally paralysed me into doing absolutely nothing all day. It's ****ing pathetic.

I did absolutely nothing useful for two days. Nada. Don't stress yourself so much. I had zero energy most of yesterday and next to none today. You might need more downtimes than you've been giving yourself. Dunno

[Aardwolf]

Sadly one of the few good things I can do, is be incredibly critical of myself.. I'm trying to work on that but it's not been easy at all

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

Sadly one of the few good things I can do, is be incredibly critical of myself.. I'm trying to work on that but it's not been easy at all

I've spent most of the time pondering my own insignificance in the scheme of the universe as a whole. Nothing I do makes one bit of difference to the rest of the universe. I'm ok with that. I don't think it's how I should be thinking, but it's what I'm doing. No wonder I have no energy either for two days.