[LadyDragus]

I have not posted in here in qute awhile, for I had not had the time, nor did I want to bring anyone else dwon..
Well I need to vent, and I have no where else to go..

I am having some major deperssion issues and I can not seem to sort them all out ?
I do not have the heart to finish school, and I am thinking of droping out after this term is over, and just going back to work, my grades are not so hot.. my heart is just not in it anymore. I do nto want to get up and do homework, I do not want to go sit in a class room and listen to another dull teacher talk about soemthing I do not want to learn (gen ed stuff)
My computer classes are so hard, I think i just need a break from them for a while, and my boyfriend is being very supporitve of this for now.. He told me he would support me in what ever I decide to do.. Which makes it harder ( i know it should make it easier) but it's not ????

I just do not knwo what to do. My depperssion is so bad, I do not want to eat, and when I do, all I want to do is throw it up, which I have not done that in a very very long time.. I feel the urger to cut, but I have signed a contract saying I will not do that with a counsler so I wont break that.. A contract is just thtat just like a promise.. Very hard for me to break, that is why when I wrote a new promise, I made that and my mind went "i am telling you not a good idea" , but my heart said you hve to do this, for yourself..

Please help ????

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[Meachie]

Wow! Sounds like you are having a hard time of things. I can relate I have gone through many years of schooling to become a teacher. It hasn't always been easy and yes I did get depressed. Somedays I had to work very hard to get out of bed. It just made it all the more meaningful to me when I accepted my cum laude degree in May 2001. I hope you hang in there and do the same very soon.

Meachie

[dexter]

LD

{{{{{{{{Lady Dragus}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry for all of this.

I usually have helpful answers for this kind of thing (not answers really, just ways to help my friends make their decisions) but I know how much depression clouds these issues.

I would hate to see you give up school after working so hard and doing so well. Generally though I usually acknowledge that there is also no harm in changing one's mind... it sometimes takes a lot of strength to realize when something isn't really what you want and to make that choice for change when it is so so so much easier to stick with the status quo. The problem with depression is it makes it really hard to make sense of our true wants and desires, which we have to tap into to make those difficult decisions.

You don't have to make a decision right now do you? Can you finish out the semester, do your best, and then think about how you want to proceed? Also if you do decide you need a break, can you take a semester off and then pick up rather than quitting altogether?

It really sounds like the most important issue right now is your depression and I think you need to do whatever might be best for that. It is good that your boyfriend is supportive even if that just makes it more confusing right now. Since he is willing to support you either way maybe he can help in some ways to help you decide. Maybe like help you with a list of pros and cons? Or maybe planning something so that you can be free of thinking of school for a few days so that maybe you're mind will be clearer and better able to decide?

I don't seem to be able to do much more than ramble lately

I think mostly you should realize how well you have been doing, in life and in school, and whatever decision you make things will turn out OK, you have a lot of strength and have been using it wisely, plus you have the support of your boyfriend and don't forget your wedding coming up.

You have been working really hard and you have had a lot of success. Do what you need to for yourself... whether that be to continue with school, to take a break, or to just not decide right now.

And once a long while ago, when I had some very bad problems in my life and was considering leaving school and returning home, after talking with a counselor, she advised me at the end that whatever I decided didn't have to be permanent... I could always change my mind later on if I thought I my choice wasn't working out for me.

That took a huge burden off of me and helped me make up my mind.

Good luck... we love you here and want the best for you.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[lost_lonely]

(((((((((((((((((lady dragus))))))))))))))))))

[Wants2Fly]

Dear Lady Dragus --

I am sorry that you are feeling low. This is a good place to vent. I agree with all of the suggestions others have contributed.

I've been teaching college for the past 12 years, and I have seen quite a few students go through emotional upheavals that required taking a time out.

It's great that you have a counselor who care enough to have this contract with you not to hurt yourself. That's a terrific and huge first step. Give yourself a big hug for that!

It's also helpful that your boyfriend is sticking with you.

Lastly, I support the non-permanent solution to college: Don't make a permanent decision when you are confused, but do make space for a breather so you can sort things out. There are a lot of pressures in college, and sometimes my students do take on course loads that are too great. Anything you can do to give yourself a time out, without quitting after so much hard work and personal sacrifice, seems like a good compromise.

Keep sharing here.

[LadyDragus]

Well I droped some of my classes today, and am going to be going just part time this fall, hopefully it will help me have the time I need to sort out what I wan to do with my life, but not comeplty let go of my dreams of getting my second degree.....

I want to get this one, it is a harder one then the first one that I got, but I am willing to work on it, and take it a littlle slower so I can better understand it

Thank you for responding..

oh and welcome to our fourms.. I hope you find the peace of mind you are looking for here..

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[LadyDragus]

you all have been so supportive thank you..

<marquee> <font color=purple> (((((((((((((((((( hugs and hugs )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) </marquee>

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[LadyDragus]

sweet dex. you have given me advice and I did listen..

I may not have answed this one right away, for I was too deperssed to do much of anything for awhile.. I know I answed many others, but your alwasys makes me think, and when you write to me, I listen.. Really listen.. YOu give me good things to think about, and I did..

I talked to two differnt people abotu waht you said, and one of them was my boyfirned and he understands why I come here, for I can many differnt opions and many differnt froms of adivce and he says this place has helped me a great deal, I no longer mope now.. I can actually smile today... Which he thinks is a good thing..
I have been in tears over this, thing at school, and I was about ready to drop it all, and just crawl down a deep dark hole and never show my face again, but I know I can not do that..
I can think that, on here and in my mind. but never do it.....

So I went in to a counsler at school, and I go back to him today, I will update tonite so you all know what he says about me dropping to part time and such..
ok..

I just wanted you all to know, I do listen to what you tell me, because I do value all of your opions.. Yes it may take me longer to reply, but that just means I am thinking over what you said... not ingoring you ok..

My mind is slow this week, with all the stress it has caked on it ok.
Please bear with your dragon ok, she is under a great deal of mental angquise this week, and fiatique...

I am sorry about the spelling mistakes but I have a slight headache again.. due to stress and I am not at home, I am at school, typing this, and not in the comfort of my bedroom. so I am not at ease like normally, but I needed to update all of you, and this was the easiest way,..... to let dex know and he would share the word with all of you..
t

ta ta for now

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[dexter]

I think here is what I was trying to say...

You have to complete your goal, or at least always be working toward it. But that doesn't mean you can't change your goal at any time you want.

I hope you stay in school, and I know you can do it, but if you decide it is not for you, for whatever reason, there's no shame in changing paths. As long as you are always on a path (except for the occassional necessary pit stop. With a Shoney's and a gift shop selling magnets of all the states, a frozen yogurt stand, bathroom, a few video games, and a vending machine where you can by asprin, bandaids, a toothbrush and a shaving razor.)

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--http://www.idexter.com