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#1
Apr 28, 2016, 08:56 AM
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I just took a 5mg valium..i want to tell the story of my mental illness...
I am a retired medical doctor/md...I am a board certified psychiatrist.. at age 84 I need to tell my story...I am getting close to death.. I want/need to come out of my rock shelter now... I am still depressed and need help....and I want to help others.. there is so much awful depression out there...I feel kind of stupid and ridiculous....I have not suffered as much as many of my patients and friends who finally killed themselves...they were patients but they were my friends... to be continued...I am sad and angry and fearful... |
 ak482, angryworld, Anonymous37790, Anonymous37904, Anonymous37970, Anonymous45390, Anonymous48850, Anonymous49071, Anonymous59898, Anonymous87914, Aussiechinagirl, BadWolfC, baseline, Bill3, boomerango, Born2Fly71, BrazenApogee, browneyedgirl_, Candy1955, CitrusLover, CognitoSchiz1989, confusedbyself, connect.the.stars, Dalea, Desoxyn, elevatedsoul, EnglishDave, ErBear24, feeshee, Finniky, franz kafka, Fuzzybear, herethennow, Illynn68, katydid777, la bella vita, malika138, Marla500, mctone, MeXoXO, Michelea, motoracer11, MtnTime2896, mulan, Nammu, NikoleS, NVKitty, perhapsparanoid, Purple,Violet,Blue, Rohag, sinking, SkitsDoubt, sky457, starryprince, Sula B, Sunflower123, TheDunce, TLFarley, Turtleboy, twistypringle98, UglyDucky, unreality, Unrigged64072835, vin_rouge, vital, whoamihere, Wild Coyote, WildcatVet, winter4me, Yours_Truly
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 akareba, baseline, betweenarock, Bill3, Candy1955, confusedbyself, Desoxyn, Fuzzybear, jeremiahgirl, katydid777, mctone, MeXoXO, sinking, SkitsDoubt, sky457, starryprince, Sunflower123, Takeshi, TgFlux, TLFarley, TrailRunner14, twistypringle98, unhappydaze, vital, winter4me, Yoda
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#2
Apr 28, 2016, 09:00 AM
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I am intrigued and, as you know better than anyone, you are not alone. I encourage you to tell your story from your unique perspective. If you confess from the standpoint of trying to help others (in my case dealing with someone afflicted with deep deep anger), then I think you will find value and provide value. I will be waiting for your continued memo little turtle.
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| katydid777, little turtle
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| boomerango, jeremiahgirl, katydid777, little turtle, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce
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#4
Apr 28, 2016, 05:58 PM
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I think you'd be an excellent resource for all of us here on PC. Do you get any lift in mood when you post here? I didn't post here for over a year after joining (too depressed->no motivation). But I have to say after making a few posts today I feel a little better. Like maybe something I might say to somebody some day will prove useful. That would ignite a spark of purpose in my dull life...
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| Anonymous48850, katydid777, little turtle, TheDunce, Yours_Truly
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| betweenarock, jeremiahgirl, katydid777, little turtle, SkitsDoubt
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#5
Apr 28, 2016, 06:13 PM
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 Hi Little Turtle. 
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| katydid777, little turtle
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| little turtle, SkitsDoubt
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#6
Apr 28, 2016, 06:33 PM
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when you work in that field, especially for so long, you are bound to have certain things affect you... even if they dont affect you at the time (back then) it catches up to you i think..
take a gander at this article.. Burnout in psychiatrists dont feel guilty about the past.. dont feel guilty about being in this position now... you have done many things in your life and now you are reflecting... you have been there for many people, and did try to help the best that you could (and employers would allow - protocols and everything..) you deserve time to relax and take a load off... this time is for you, you deserve to feel well - we all do.. even though sometimes we feel that no, we deserve to be miserable... try some breathing exercises and put images of things that you find beautiful in your mind... to fill your mind so that there is no room for the negatives... valium is wonderful, it can relax us - but when we ruminate it cant clear the depressive feelings... we care about you, thanks for everything that you have done here and there your achievements are truly acknowledgeable and admirable, your dedication to get through the things you did is inspiring, and i hope that you can find an ounce of relief in hearing someone acknowledge these things.. your contributions are desrving of respect, i dont know if anyone gives you that respect you deserve..  heres to walking the lonely road together 
__________________
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| Anonymous44144, boomerango, Fuzzybear, katydid777, little turtle
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| boomerango, Illynn68, jeremiahgirl, katydid777, little turtle, lizable, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce
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#7
Apr 29, 2016, 05:28 AM
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oh my god you are all so kind....I am so happy that we can be together here...and share our experiences...and help each other....you are my friends....we are all equal ...I am a human being again...
I hate the way the psychiatric system is so arrogant and greedy... we who are sick want help but we want to be valued and loved... |
| Anonymous44144, Anonymous45390, Anonymous49071, Anonymous59125, baseline, boomerango, BrazenApogee, franz kafka, Fuzzybear, gothicpear, guiltier65, katydid777, Marla500, MissCathryn, mulan, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sula B, turtl, vital, Wild Coyote, WildcatVet, winter4me
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| betweenarock, BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, gothicpear, Illynn68, jeremiahgirl, katydid777, lowpoint, Nammu, SkitsDoubt, TrailRunner14, turnedaround, unhappydaze, winter4me
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#8
Apr 29, 2016, 07:23 AM
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Do continue. Please.
I also am here as a person with mental illness, and an RN whose first & last love is psychiatric nursing...no longer working in the field but always on my mind...at 63, I find myself waking up in the past too often... trying to find a creative way to use the images, the memories... I think your sharing would be invaluable.
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"...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
| Anonymous44144, Anonymous48850, baseline, elevatedsoul, Fuzzybear, guiltier65, katydid777, little turtle, Marla500, Wild Coyote
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| baseline, Fuzzybear, Illynn68, jeremiahgirl, little turtle, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce, Wild Coyote
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#9
Apr 29, 2016, 08:24 AM
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I feel so sad for my patients...they suffered so much...and I continue to be angry at those in charge who indirectly abused my patients...you need to see them every 15 minutes....they were killing my patients and me...it was wrong..i refused to do it...that was at the mental health clinic...
but I did wrong when I brokedown in private practice...I never told my patients what was really going on.....I didn't talk to them about the truth....and I am very sorry for that... now I am interested in the truth...and talking about the truth...and having the courage to tell it the way it is.... one good thing I did....I didn't see drug reps....I didn't like the drug companies and i still don't like them...they cheat and lie and hurt us...they are very deceptive and slick |
| Anonymous44144, Anonymous59125, BadWolfC, BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, gothicpear, katydid777, mulan, Nammu, TheDunce, Wild Coyote, winter4me
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| baseline, betweenarock, BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, Illynn68, jeremiahgirl, katydid777, Michelea, Nammu, SkitsDoubt, sugarrxbomb, TrailRunner14, Wild Coyote, winter4me
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#10
Apr 29, 2016, 12:33 PM
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drug reps are car sales mans of the medical world...
they say we get a brand new fancy sports car with superb gas mileage and safety features but what we really get is a rundown old piece of junk that will inevitably break down on us and possibly cause our death... i read somewhere before that only when the medical world changes its views and ways to treat the causes of the symptoms will these things improve... instead of treating the symptoms that keep the cause of the symptoms alive... but its not all of their faults, some are just truly oblivious to it.. not realizing what is going on... and they think they are doing really good helping people, but unable to see that they are just keeping the rich men happy by making them money with their drugs and expensive medical treatments... one day we will rectify the world of health care, if we dont destroy ourselves first
__________________
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| Anonymous44144, Anonymous59125, Fuzzybear, katydid777, little turtle, Wild Coyote
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| Fuzzybear, Illynn68, little turtle, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce, Wild Coyote
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#11
Apr 29, 2016, 12:57 PM
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Little turtle, what do you think is the single most effective treatment or action that an individual can employ to acquire a healthy mental disposition. I gather it is not medication. I am thinking religion? Exercise? Social activity? Therapy?
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| katydid777, little turtle
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| Fuzzybear, little turtle, SkitsDoubt
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#12
Apr 29, 2016, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
you need to be physically healthy for sure.. and maybe love tops it all... |
| Anonymous59125, BrazenApogee, DechanDawa, elevatedsoul, Fuzzybear, katydid777, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, DechanDawa, Fuzzybear, jeremiahgirl, SkitsDoubt, Wild Coyote
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#13
Apr 29, 2016, 01:51 PM
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Welcome little turtle.
You have carried a lot on your back....now it is time for you to care for little turtle and do some sun bathing. Be gentle with yourself and know that you did the best you could while you worked. It's rare to find a pdoc who saw the drug reps for what they are. You are not alone here there'res many from the medical field here, this is a safe place to share without judgement.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous59125, Fuzzybear, katydid777, little turtle
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| Fuzzybear, Illynn68, little turtle, SkitsDoubt
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#14
Apr 29, 2016, 01:59 PM
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Maybe love tops it all, I think so too
  (If "they" can't even love then wtf are "they" doing trying to "get inside our minds"  DISCLAIMER this is not about anyone on PC...Quote:
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| Anonymous59125, katydid777, little turtle, Wild Coyote
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| little turtle, SkitsDoubt, Wild Coyote
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#15
Apr 29, 2016, 10:43 PM
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Quote:
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| Fuzzybear, katydid777, little turtle
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| little turtle, SkitsDoubt, TrailRunner14
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#16
Apr 29, 2016, 10:53 PM
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love love love love
the world has much hate! what we need is learn to relate something we do is debate all we learn is to rebate cant we just stop such slate?
__________________
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| Fuzzybear, katydid777, little turtle
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| Fuzzybear, little turtle, SkitsDoubt
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#17
Apr 30, 2016, 07:15 AM
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please be careful ....some psychiatrists are loving...and some psychiatrists are hateful...
some will see you as a disease...some will see you as a person...you must find out for yourself.....check your psychiatrist out... there is so much anger and hatred in the world.... Last edited by little turtle; Apr 30, 2016 at 10:31 AM. |
| Anonymous59125, BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, katydid777, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, Nammu, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce, Wild Coyote
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#18
Apr 30, 2016, 09:23 PM
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I hate being an it, a thing. I wish I was a person not a history and a diagnosis.
 I'm glad your sharing little turtle.
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| Anonymous49071, Arevique, Illynn68, katydid777, little turtle, TheDunce
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| Illynn68, little turtle, SkitsDoubt
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#19
May 03, 2016, 07:23 AM
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one of my jobs was seeing medical students that were having trouble with depression..
many students came for help.....my time was limited....I asked for someone to help me talk with the students....the chairman told me that the solution to my problem was to talk less and use more drugs.... |
| Anonymous59125, boomerango, BrazenApogee, katydid777, mulan, Nammu, TheDunce, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, SkitsDoubt
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#20
May 03, 2016, 09:19 AM
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I can no longer tolerate the psychiatry system that values $$$$$$$$$$$ over people..
I am going to speak up...I am not going to remain quiet any longer... when I was quiet I was a SLAVE to the system...I want change...non-violent change.. |
| Anonymous49071, Anonymous59125, BrazenApogee, gothicpear, Illynn68, katydid777, mulan, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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| baseline, BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, gothicpear, Illynn68, jeremiahgirl, Nammu, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce, TrailRunner14
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#21
May 03, 2016, 10:26 AM
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I have found for myself that I am better off crying/screaming/yelling/swearing/complaining...
when I keep it in I am more depressed... I have seen so many others suffer so much... we need to help each other with our suffering... |
| Anonymous59125, BrazenApogee, gothicpear, katydid777, sinking, TheDunce, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, gothicpear, Illynn68, SkitsDoubt, Wild Coyote
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#22
May 03, 2016, 10:31 AM
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You know that old saying....anger turned inward causes depression
I don't quite believe it's that way. I think it's all emotions repressed and turned inward all contribute to depression but they don't cause it So yeah, crying, shouting, laughing....getting emotions out, that's good, sharing those emotions...even better.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous59125, katydid777, little turtle, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, little turtle, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce, Wild Coyote, Yours_Truly
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#23
May 03, 2016, 10:48 AM
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Quote:
laughing ----I am glad that you said that |
| katydid777, mulan, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce, TrailRunner14, Wild Coyote
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#24
May 03, 2016, 10:57 AM
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That's so sad if it's true, I can quite imagine it might be.
And they over use drugs to keep them "quiet"  I agree, with letting emotions out, it's much healthier  Quote:
__________________
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| katydid777, little turtle, Wild Coyote
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| BrazenApogee, little turtle, SkitsDoubt, TheDunce
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#25
May 03, 2016, 11:01 AM
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Quote:
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| BrazenApogee, Fuzzybear, katydid777, mulan, Wild Coyote
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| SkitsDoubt
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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