Went to my psychiatrist today (22 August.) Here's how it went.

Doc : Is everything alright?
Me : I am pretty good at lab work now, so I was thinking about giving the medical entrance exam-
Doc : *Cuts off mid-sentence* Shut up. Don't take the exam.
Me : But I have interest in medicine.
Doc : I am interested in conquering the world. Does my aim sound realistic to you?
Me : Why?
Doc : It's beyond your capability.

(Doctor examines blood pressure, after that...)
Me : I am interested in life sciences.
Doc : Do study life sciences then (implying that I should stick to B.Sc)
Me : But...
Doc : Med school is beyond your capability. Get that thought out of your head.
Me : (Lying) Okay...
<End appointment>

After exiting the clinic, we (me and my dad) bought a really nice practice book for biology for the examination. Almost everything I want (and everything I need, aside from the books for physics and chemistry which I'll buy soon)

Don't get my psych doc wrong. The 'win the world' is a metaphor to be someone like UNO's secretariat and I am pretty sure he's just burnt out to have an attitude like that. And after all he's a psych doc, he's most likely doing what he needs to do for me to feel better. Cause I pay him for that.

A few hours ago had an argument with my mom. I was studying the newly bought book for the medical entrance examination. She was telling dad how much "spoiled" I am, that it's been ten years I am "wasted away" and how worthless I am...


I was reminded of the very appointment I had today with my psych doc.

Would he have told me to stay away from med school if IT WAS EXACTLY OPPOSITE OF WHAT MY MOTHER THINKS? Doesn't she know I have become crazy due to the fact she isolated me from the rest of the society?

Oh, by the way, dad's response was, "My friends tell me to buy him a bike...." mom cut off saying, "People say anything, those stupid ****s."

Absolutely. I should have clapped, recorded the conversation, uploaded the whole clip of the conversation on YouTube, and expected it to get a billion likes. After all, it's a parenting style different than others, a bit too different. "Don't let your kid go outside, he's gonna be a perfect high-ranking official..."

I cried after arguing with them, and of course I cursed at her. She did realize she could not beat me as she did when I used to be a child...

Before that, I was feeling a lot of psychosomatic pain in my upper left arm. She used to beat me with her right hand, standing opposite to me, because I refused to come home after visiting my relatives, of course, "those evil people" that "didn't let <my mom> be a government official."

Why is this happening to me? Do I deserve it? I am... if you're following me, you know it already like a chorus. Inbred, isolated, abused, injured, infected, hyper-stimulated....

I have technically lost my dream job (which wasn't due to anyone's efforts except mine, which was analyzing my situation whenever I went to me pediatrician and later internist.) BECAUSE my mom hates being around people... I wanted to be a normal teenager, and even more than that, a good doctor... so even my psychiatrist, a figure of authority who could have helped me by contacting the police, lost hope that I'd get to be a doctor...

I am still studying for entrance exam. I want to get away. Perhaps live a normal life -- which seems impossible -- and my mother is so intelligent and informed, she thinks me "reading" a ****ing book will store it permanently in my memory, neglecting whether I get two-times-a-day meal or not, whether I ignore the noise of both of them arguing over an affair, whether or not I get tired of hearing the disgraceful word she calls me "Kiddo" (transliterated) , whether or not I get enough sleep... all that matters is, I should 'study twenty four hours a day...'

That's completely neglecting the world without studying... I know you know how teenagers live a life, some of my friends got bikes worth hundred of thousand currency worth bikes after they passed 10th grade (high school) and here I am, still having no social life, no friends, no anything....

You're not worthless, Chemist

(sorry for short posts today, I'm not able to make longer posts tonight)

He didn't call me worthless, but he told me there's no hope either... so it's either me dying or they dying...

I completely understand if you're unable to post right now.

[Calla lily12]

Hi TheLonelyChemist. Did your psychiatrist actually say "shut up"?? He doesn't sound very validating to say the least. No one has the right to tell you what you can't do.
I'm unclear about your family situation. They don't let you go out and socialize with friends? Is there a reason your mother . says " Don't let your kid go outside, he's gonna be a perfect high-ranking official.."
what does she mean by that? To have your psychiatrist say " I am interested in conquering the world. Does my aim sound realistic to you?" How RUDE and IGNORANT! Did your father hear any of this conversation? I don't have words for the way you're being treated.

I'm sorry if I am asking to many questions but this whole thing enrages me.

I don’t understand. I’m confused as to why everybody is holding you back? Why all this abuse?

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

Hi TheLonelyChemist. Did your psychiatrist actually say "shut up"?? He doesn't sound very validating to say the least. No one has the right to tell you what you can't do.
I'm unclear about your family situation. They don't let you go out and socialize with friends? Is there a reason your mother . says " Don't let your kid go outside, he's gonna be a perfect high-ranking official.."
what does she mean by that? To have your psychiatrist say " I am interested in conquering the world. Does my aim sound realistic to you?" How RUDE and IGNORANT! Did your father hear any of this conversation? I don't have words for the way you're being treated.

I'm sorry if I am asking to many questions but this whole thing enrages me.

I am sorry for writing half-contextual sentences. It's related with my brain damage I guess.


Yes, he did. He literally said, "Shut up." He is a neuropsychiatrist and I cannot analyze him, all I know he should have been angry when I mentioned the medical entrance exam. Perhaps due to the fact it's my parents that made me unable to do anything?

I know they cannot force me to do anything over another, but I went to him to ask him about my health and if it's okay if I get into med school with a health like this. So it was more of an advice than an order.

My parents are mentally ill and have a very different point of view than others. Dad's kind of okay, but mom's very psychotic. They don't let me have friends, never let me go to anyone's house, never let my relatives visit me, never let me socialize because they're afraid I may become a "spoiled brat" ... so after years of isolation, the brain damage begun taking toll on my health, and it stated affecting my memory and my perception.

She doesn't say that but she has this sentence in her mind. She doesn't let me go outside, thinking it's all "useless", friends, support, networking, etc. but she FAILS to realize that you NEED to be an independent adult eventually and for that you MUST learn how to live in the outside world, or otherwise you'll end up brain damaged and disabled like me. This includes making friends and riding bikes.

He wasn't trying to be rude I guess but forceful. "Conquer the world" means to be the president of the united nations organization or something similar to that. He doesn't actually want that. He was just telling me med school is something impossible for me. Yes, my father was present in the consulting room with that.

Since my dad is kind of obsessed with money, he told me to give the medical entrance examination, much to my joy and hope. Of course, I can be a doctor, only if I get somewhere far away from the hellhole I call home....

Originally Posted by Sisabel

I don’t understand. I’m confused as to why everybody is holding you back? Why all this abuse?

Psychiatrist is holding me back because it's my parents who raised me isolated from society, because they're mentally ill and have a different point of view about parenting and what's essential and non-essential. They think it's not essential to have anything other than an academic life. So since childhood they isolated me from the rest of the society, didn't let me have friends, didn't let me play with other kids. The only thing that seems essential to them is to have a "government career." To be a class-one officer. So they (especially my mom) thinks I shouldn't socialize...

They lack the medical insight about what's actually the real deal. For ****'s sake you need to go outside to survive... you cannot just sit at home reading a textbook and become some high ranking official. They don't understand this, their narrow mindedness is great. So I lack basic skills needed in life, that includes communication skills and ability to ride bikes... I am basically intellectually disabled because of them. How ironic.

I don't know.... I can never be someone I want to because I have been abused.

My mother used to beat me because she had (and still has) an uncontrollable amount of rage and random bursts of anger. It's a cause to my massive anxiety. And also my brain damage.

I do not know, I want to do something good, for myself, for the rest of the world, but the universe is like, "Oh, nope. Lol."

I'm confused, Chemist, why didn't child services step in when you was younger and get you out of there?

I am not from the west. There's no agency like Child Protective Services here. And I am about to be a legal adult. But since I am disabled and I have absolutely no knowledge of the outside world, it's very unlikely I am going to move out unless I get in med school (thus asking for permission to live at a hostel) but my psychiatrist confirmed it's useless to get into med school, as I will not be able to finish it (that's my guess what it all meant.)

[Raindropvampire]

I say screw what the Pdoc told you. IF you want to take the medical examine take it. Get into the school and prove him wrong. I honestly believe you can do it. So sorry for all the abuse and isolation you've been through

[Thirty shades]

Ignore all the negative people in your life.

Focus on being you and doing your best and let that be your future.

You're brilliant for sticking with it in the face of doomsdayers....

[MickeyCheeky]

Thank you all. I am trying to make the best out of this situation. I just hope I get accepted, move into a hostel and everything will be alright from then. It'll be a life-changing day, the day I get accepted in med school. I think I can safely ignore my psychiatrist if I want to have a meaning in my life. I still wonder why he just sat and watch while year after year my cognition was being destroyed.


I may be never able to be a normal young adult, but as long as I get my job done in the manner the patient needs, I think it far outweighs what it could have been. Never would get to ride a Royal Enfield and attend parties, sure. But at least I'd still wear a white coat and make a living out of helping people, and in the process enjoy it. What more can I ask for?


Please send your wishes to me. I need it more than ever.

I’m sending you best wishes and hugs. I’m so sorry for your tough situation right now and I truly hope you find your way.

[SlumberKitty]

Don't give up on your dream. Hang on to it. I hope you can prove the doctor wrong. You can do this!

Best wishes coming from me as well, Lonely

[Calla lily12]

I think your psychiatrist was way out of line saying that to you . If you lived in the States, child services would have taken you out of that toxic environment a long time ago. Is there a service that can help you navigate in society?
It would be such a waste of talent and compassion if you didn't use your skills to become a doctor. You can do anything you want! Once you're an adult, get out of that house, find some services to help you , and take the exam...then laugh in all their faces when you succeed.

[Calla lily12]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

Psychiatrist is holding me back because it's my parents who raised me isolated from society, because they're mentally ill and have a different point of view about parenting and what's essential and non-essential. They think it's not essential to have anything other than an academic life. So since childhood they isolated me from the rest of the society, didn't let me have friends, didn't let me play with other kids. The only thing that seems essential to them is to have a "government career." To be a class-one officer. So they (especially my mom) thinks I shouldn't socialize...

They lack the medical insight about what's actually the real deal. For ****'s sake you need to go outside to survive... you cannot just sit at home reading a textbook and become some high ranking official. They don't understand this, their narrow mindedness is great. So I lack basic skills needed in life, that includes communication skills and ability to ride bikes... I am basically intellectually disabled because of them. How ironic.

I don't know.... I can never be someone I want to because I have been abused.

My mother used to beat me because she had (and still has) an uncontrollable amount of rage and random bursts of anger. It's a cause to my massive anxiety. And also my brain damage.

I do not know, I want to do something good, for myself, for the rest of the world, but the universe is like, "Oh, nope. Lol."

Once you're an adult, you can start to reverse all the negative influence your parents had on you. Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to. I hope you can realise your dreams. You deserve it.

[ShadowGX]

You got this Chem. Don't let the abusers win by keeping you down.

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

I think your psychiatrist was way out of line saying that to you . If you lived in the States, child services would have taken you out of that toxic environment a long time ago. Is there a service that can help you navigate in society?
It would be such a waste of talent and compassion if you didn't use your skills to become a doctor. You can do anything you want! Once you're an adult, get out of that house, find some services to help you , and take the exam...then laugh in all their faces when you succeed.

As far as I am aware, there is nothing that can help me, except maybe courts.

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

Once you're an adult, you can start to reverse all the negative influence your parents had on you. Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to. I hope you can realise your dreams. You deserve it.

Thank you. I am going to try my best to succeed at the exam. It's not that hard here.

My psychiatrist was never actually a close 'friend' to me, unlike my other doctors (pediatrician, internist and ophthalmologist), perhaps he is way too professional to care for his patients. He never gave a smile to me, just answered the questions I asked, and I think most of the answers were white lies telling me I can do it. Now I think about it, he knows my situation yet he didn't do anything.... I do not know.

Originally Posted by ShadowGX

You got this Chem. Don't let the abusers win by keeping you down.

I will do my best. I am going to win, for my passion, for my soul, for my life, for my patients and all those who can benefit from my service.

Doctors are to me what soldiers are to the general population. Unfortunately I will never understand some, like my psychiatrist. I am beginning to realize some people hate their doctors with cause. All I can do is locally try to change this.

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

Thank you all. I am trying to make the best out of this situation. I just hope I get accepted, move into a hostel and everything will be alright from then. It'll be a life-changing day, the day I get accepted in med school. I think I can safely ignore my psychiatrist if I want to have a meaning in my life. I still wonder why he just sat and watch while year after year my cognition was being destroyed.


I may be never able to be a normal young adult, but as long as I get my job done in the manner the patient needs, I think it far outweighs what it could have been. Never would get to ride a Royal Enfield and attend parties, sure. But at least I'd still wear a white coat and make a living out of helping people, and in the process enjoy it. What more can I ask for?

Please send your wishes to me. I need it more than ever.

My very best wishes are by your side, now and always, TLC for your journey to achieve your dream.