Confessions of little turtle with love #2

I can't deal with the fact my supervisor is an high funtioning austist.
This is giving me crazy anxiety! I need help.
Get to find a way of being myself and ignoring her (she is só intense!). But she will get sad and my necessity of parentifying people, makes me want to help her with her feelings.

I can't ignore a mentally ill person or don't like (?). Bad person feelings on the rise.

Is there love on this bus?

She is so little oppened minded! Shrinks are people with mental health disorders, people who go to realities are just stupid, she said. And then I had to share my interest in human behaviour, she got shocked! Reality shows are my little hobbie because I love to understard those people and their behaviour, I love melodramatic stories because everyone is troubled... She didn't understood of course. She likes shallow people, who laugh! Because she doesnt understard the nuances of small behaviours.

Now I am on tip toes explaining everything to her. She gets mad when I ask her help, she gets sad when I dont ask her help. Jesus Christ!

I don’t like people who are shallow, especially if they think they are “normal”

But most of all I don’t like people who can’t get their heads out of their butts

It bothers me when someone judges me in a few seconds. Wtf. How freakin shallow (irl)

I want to bite them

Thank you fuzzybear .
That's what I needed to ear. Bitte, Bitte, Bitte.

Anyways its a mental disorder and it is a very "umbilical" relaction... Sights.

The problem of dealing with toxic people when you too have problems.

I want to deal we my problems. Not with my borderline friend, my austist supervisor, my needy sister, the histrionic shallow colleague. Give me time not work/work/work and study/study/study. I am freakin discovering who I am, what happened in my past.... I am coming out from a decades old depression, I am discovering I am crazy smart, and that I had a forgetted uncle that died by suicide... Come on people around me. Let me live!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

What happened fuzzy?

I tried to talk..
I was reminded there is “no point” in talking

I know that sounds over dramatic, sometimes there is so much drama everywhere

Some people get all the “love”

And it ain’t me babe ....

It's not your fault.
You are capable of loving yourself without those bastards.
Talk to us. We care.

Thanks Mulan
(It’s past my bed time now )
Good night

Bed times are the worst. Memories cant stop showing up. I decided to talk to my borderline friend's supervisor about my feelings and talk about my two weeks exam.
He is emotional ajusted and he likes me. But I can do this. I can't ****ing studing and cant even sleep.
I am pain I need someone to take care of me.
Feeling só tired.

Children needs love. Not to be her emotionaly cold mother's mother and her instable father father's and mini-adult/best friend all the time. Children don't need to be criticised, emotionaly blackmaid all the time or have no privacy what só ever. Children don't need to be hit everyday or have their favourite toys tossed away just because. Children don't need to be hitted because their crying or talking to much, because they don't want to eat everything or they talking to long to do it.
My father needed a friend, I wasnt suppose to be is friend to discuss adult stuff with, I just needed to be a children. My mother was devoid of love during childhood she had the right to give us love. She hadnt the right to complain on e very her issues around us and at the same time wanted us to be perfect.

This hurts so much.

My mother in-law died about a month ago. I have tried to remain strong for my wife and not show how hard her death has hit me. This week has been the toughest. It's like each day 1 pound of weight has been added to my back for me to carry. At first it wasn't that hard. Now I am carrying around an extra 30 pounds and each round is getting harder and harder to carry. Yet I must remain strong for her.

I am sorry for your loss HD....
Allow yourself some time to grieve too
We are here for you...

https://forums.psychcentral.com/pict...ictureid=64301
https://forums.psychcentral.com/pict...ictureid=64247

Blacky has made my life bearable.

I dread to think...

What labels I have been given in my doctors records....
I am a write off
I was told that, in not so many words....

F the doctors. You are not a write off.

I am so
I feel insignificant and useless.