My second week back

I'm starting my second week back to work. I am starting to feel less anxious about it as each day passes. I wonder about the status of my depression though as I get home and I can't keep my eyes open. It's hard to do anything besides work right now. After years of being a super-achiever, it's hard to accept. Well, that's probably what got me into this mess anyway, who knows. I think I've been depressed forever, since a young child wishing in a magical thinking way that I could just die. Somehow I knew that I wouldn't be hurt anymore. So now I decide to have my middle age crisis and get a major paralyzing depression. I am supposed to be learning stuff here. Not sure what though. How to better care for myself, that I don't need to be perfect because perfect does not equal nothing bad happening. Never mind that perfect is impossible. I still have the fear of feeling like that again, or the meds not working but so far I am taking it one little baby step at a time. So the work I have to do is in knowing that my best is good enough and to roll with the punches. Ouch.

Well, here's your official cheerleader again!

First, give yourself a pat on the back for making it through week one. And things getting less anxious at work is evidence that you are working through this in the right way.

As far as when you get home, remember that what you are doing is hard work. Recovery from depression may not look like running a marathon, but it can be very exhausting. I went through quite awhile when I was getting better and better at work, but pretty much collapsing when I got home. You're doing the right things, and if you just keep it up, you'll see that your exhaustion at home will lessen with time.

So, a big cheer for recovery!!! YAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

*hugs*
Jo

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

thanks mj, you are so helpful! Kisses you on the cheek

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Congrats!!!

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>