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#1
Jul 27, 2004, 03:56 AM
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When I look in the mirror, I see failure. I see someone who has tried to take their life when they have two beautiful children. I am reading a book from the view point of a child who endured the life long struggles of a depressed mom. In the end the mother kills herself and it seems as though the child could move on with her life. Not to have to deal with her mom anymore. I can see now what I am doing to my children. I want to go but am scared. I know I am destroying myself with my self abusive behaviors, but will I die? I dont know but I just wish someone would take me away. I hate myself when I am awake and I hate myself when I am asleep. The sadness inside is unbearable and I can't take it. It hurts so much. When I am awake, I think about what i have done and what I am doing now. When I am asleep, I have nightmares of the past. Many of these nightmares play over and over again. Its driving any sanity that I have left away. "My wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just to real, its just not time that can erase." I am confused about my life, my kids, and my uncertain future. Maybe my kids would do better without me? Maybe peace would finally come. For everyone.
Elizabeth
__________________
"Through the rain lives a rainbow...you just need to find it." |
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#2
Jul 27, 2004, 01:26 PM
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Elizabeth,
I know that it must seem like you are in a really bad place right now and I have been there too. Suicide is not the answer. Please listen to what Ozzie said and seek out some professional help. There are resources out there to help you through this point in your life. Attempting suicide does not help anything. You will not help your children by taking your life. You will not help yourself. 1800 SUICIDE is a national hotline that is available free of charge. Jessica <font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>
__________________
"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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#3
Jul 27, 2004, 01:50 PM
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itsjustme... many people here have experienced and can understand your pain.
With help these feelings can be overcome. It is an illness and is treatable. Call a hotline number, 1-800-784-2433 (the same as 1-800-suicide) will connect you to a local help facility. The website  -- The world is what we make of it -- -- Dave -- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>
__________________
------------------------------------ --  -- The world is what we make of it -- -- Dave -- www.idexter.com |
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