[nowheretorun]

i dont know what you all think of the idea that humor can be harmful... for several reasons, i think it can be...

homor is (in my mind) something that provides relief from sorrow... yet, so many jokes and quips are degrading... to someone, or, degrading to ideas...

i've often thought about humor as a distraction.. yet, ive wondered, perhaps the distraction subtracts from energy that could be used in resolving harmful situations...

i'm guilty of watching crappy, family destroying sit-coms on tv... im guilty of a lot of things...

a good friend of mine told me: "there is absolutely nothing on this planet worth laughing at"... but he said, we all do it...

i thought about it some... i figured, a smile is different... it really is harmless...

[pachyderm]

I think it is generally realized that things are laughed at because they bring up thoughts that are usually hidden. So that can be relieving and it can be frightening.

Smile is good!

[dragonphoto]

What about watching a kitten discovering a mirror...that is pretty funny and not degrading...or a kitten playing with a paper bag...a dog chasing his tail...my daughter telling the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke...Knock knock jokes from my kids...but you are right the things we create are really not that funny they are degrading and I know I have laughed at many of jokes like that, but like you said it is a distraction from what is really bothering me...smiles are always good too

[bipolar_bear]

There are all types of humor. Some of it can be hurtful and some of it is in the context it was said. Laughing and smiling are good things emotionally and physically. Sometimes it helps us through the hard times in life. Soemtimes it helps things from being so overwhelming.

BB

[ECHOES]

hey I've had thoughts about humor too. not all humor because some is innocent and happens in the moment and is joyful.

but so much humor on tv and in movies is mean and to me is just stupid. and the stand-up comics seem to do nothing but grumble or judge and put others down. it bugs me and I don't think they're funny most of the time.

i honestly think there is some neuorisis in much of what we call humor today.

laughter is wonderful! i laugh when my cat chases a toy across the room, stops suddenly and does a sommersault. when a child says something wonderfully cute in wide-eyed innocence. at silliness for fun. at irony.

nice thread. thanks.

[nowheretorun]

Hey, thanks everyone... some food for thought, some support, i really need to try and get this clear for myself...

Dragon said: What about watching a kitten discovering a mirror...that is pretty funny and not degrading...or a kitten playing with a paper bag...a dog chasing his tail...my daughter telling the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke...Knock knock jokes from my kids...

ME: well, hope no offense is taken... the kittens/dogs, are extremely cute and humorous... i really see no harm unless the animal is suffering in some way...

the chicken and knock jokes on the other hand... what follows the traditional intro? ive heard some pretty crude ones... coming from a child one could assume harmlessness... yet, ive been on a few playgrounds... humor can devastate a child if it exists in the "untrained" mind... imo...

im not saying humor has to die... i just wish more of our society would take these things into consideration.. imo, havent we all hurt enough already?

i believe humor has its place, right there beside sorrow (physical death is inevitable)[and even that can be sorrow-less] ...

but harmful humor can really get my shackles up...

i think as long as i'm growing, mistakes and errors in my own behaviour have occured... learning to define humor in a way i can comprehend and use positively will help me to apply my humor in a way which supports and encourages, rather than degrades and mocks...

[Mystry]

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[Mystry]

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[Mystry]

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[nowheretorun]

i think you are making a lot of assumptions mystry... yes, i have been depressed about the subject of humor...

yes, i do stop and think about what i say might affect others..

[Mystry]

and now I will apologize for jumping on you like this my friend...it did upset me that someone would question my only means of fighting my demons...the subject is actually a very good one...and I do beieve some humur is harmful and degrading...like pardon the expression paki jokes or blonde jokes but like all things in life we must take them with a grain of salt and realize that people need humour to survive...it is wrong when we use humour as a way of hurting others and in that respect I agree whoeheartedly with you...

((((((mystry))))))

((((((nowheretorun)))))))

I think sometimes if people are feeling low we can see something that isn't there, you two are two of my best friend here, please don't fall out, lets be peaceful and realise we all have differing opinions, you're both right, just agree to differ and shake hands??(cyberly) hey you're both loved and I hate to see animosity here....

love and hugs Mystry and nowhere, Jinny xxxxxxxx

[Mystry]

I think you are right about my assuming things and you know what they say about assumations eh...lol...I have a tendency to write first and think later and really I do apologize for my posts and please feel free to rake me across the coals...now I will retire to my kingdom of fools and think about maybe some way of eating my words without choking on my foot....

I love to laugh.

There is so much in this world to laugh about.

I think humor can be so helpful, especially in therapy. My T and I use a lot of humor together.

I guess it is just important to be careful. I know I have to often hold back and really get to know the person I am talking to because my sense of humor tends to be very sarcastic at times-- I never want to offend anyone and I have to realize that not everyone is like me-- I don't get offended by much and I absolutely love humor and laughter.
I mean, there is a definitely list of things that would go under the "not funny" list.... I also laugh at myself a whole lot.

A lot of times there as been humor even in my darkest ponts of depression.

[Rapunzel]

Humor can be sticky. They say "laughter is the best medicine," and there is truth to that. We are healthier when we can laugh at ourselves. Sometimes there's just nothing to do but laugh. But sometimes humor bites too. Knowing when and how to use humor appropriately takes a sensitivity that not everyone has. People who hurt others for whatever reason motivates them to do that can use humor as quite a destructive tool. I guess, just like everything else, humor is a tool that can be used for good or for harm. It is the person using the tool who is responsible for how they use it. I can't think of a tool that can only do good and is incapable of harm. Can you?

[SeptemberMorn]

!!

[(JD)]

I'll take all the endorphins I can find!

[heyjoe]

I think that humor is important for people to relieve for a little while the stresses they are under, it is certainly a better state of mind than dwelling on things. Humor also can help you put things in perspective. What is deadly serious to you, or what you are worried about can be seen in a different light , that there is a humorous side to life and maybe problems arent as serious or deadly as we thought. Humor can also help to defuse tense situations. Satire, a form of humor, is a very powerful tool that people with little power can use against those who abuse their power. i dont think that you can train yourself to find certain things funny or not, its all an individual taste, as varied and complex as people themselves. What someone finds offensive many people do not . There is no formula on who is going to be offended by what. I like to joke around and sometimes i put my foot in my mouth but thats life.

[nowheretorun]

Rapunzel:

"It is the person using the tool who is responsible for how they use it. I can't think of a tool that can only do good and is incapable of harm. Can you?"

ME: Only what was in the OP... a smile...

Mystry, we're fine... i have concern that anything stated opn any part of this board has the potential to be construed.. i was only attempting to bring a personal issue of my own out into the light...

i live in a world where communication is stunted... i have to take the risk that my words may cause harm... i only hope that whomever is reading/thinking about what ive said will consider that each self-statement is a fragment of my entire being, frozen in mid-air the moment it is spoken...

i sincerely hope that if any confusion is created, any involved would have courage and strength to inquire my meaning..

your own reaction to the thread highlights the damage even the very subject of humor can create...

i think there were very considerable responses to my almost whimsical post...

i apologize for all feathers ruffled... but i would like to grow in myself... in my own surroundings, and if that would someehow affect those around me in a positive way, i would definately feel so much the happier...

the Denver Post headline today speaks of gang-violence against a 10 year old boy... resulting in death... i hope no one thinks there is humor in that, but, ive known some in my personal life who would make it a humorous topic...

that idea saddens me very much...

[nowheretorun]

pachyderm, i your post made me think of a thing... the ability humor has to draw attention to a subject... this part of the process i find useful...

in part due to my depressive history, i naturally react with examination instead of several other possible responses..

most people are able to laugh for laugh... it is difficult for me to do so...

i search within the nugget for the existence of harmful ingredients... bringing those concepts to the front of my mind for further examination...

that is my process... finding a link between the humor and the catastophe of an idea results in myself not appreciating the the initiating humor...

yet your point causes me to consider my process... whatever it takes to get our attention is good? no, i wont go that far, but ive taken note of your statement and find it leads somewhere... thank you...

[nowheretorun]

thank you ((((Jinny))) ... i hope there is no issues w/Mystry... ive admired him from afar and believe there is much i can learn from him...

Hope you're ok Mystry... i think we both are touchy/feely at times... (nothing i say cant be construed by a bright individusl)

[mrsmoggles]

My motto has been 'it is better to laugh than cry' but usually i have to laugh at myself. if not i don't know where i would be. almost anything that is ever said someone could find offense to. it is all in the eye of the beholder. around here, blonde jokes are often told since i am blonde. to me it's great!! i am not saying at all the sitcoms, i am not saying demeaning jokes, i do not go around offending people just to get a smile for myself, there are a lot of tasteless things out there, but if i stopped laughing at the mundane i would cease to exist. i would not want to exist in a world such as that. but that is my two cents worth...be it smiling,laughing, chuckling, giggling, to me that is a joy that spreads with each passing second.

[nowheretorun]

MrsM... i suppose i take it personally for these reasons:

a harmless "blonde joke" between friends is just that, harmless..

but in the other room, at the library, at school, are the children who did not understand the context of the humor.. there, the humor becomes a weapon...

next thing i know, it my neighbors kids who come home all torn up because of ignorant selfish and childish behaviour... which, unfortunately, does not exist only in the under 12 years old world...

[Perna]

I think if people don't laugh at jokes, they're not "funny" and therefore don't qualify as "humor". The canned laughter tracks for sit-coms do not make the sit-coms "humorous". Only something that touches us and helps us is going to be true humor, I feel. Anything ugly is going to be harmful but that doesn't qualify in my book as humor.

[Cyran0]

I love humor. It is a uniquely human trait. No other animal does it. It's a gift and it, along with the emotional properties of music and the joy of ice cream, is the only evidence I've ever seen that there is a god.

But humor takes a lot of forms. My favorite is the clever or surprising juxtaposition of ideas. Some surprising connection that the humorist made that we can't help but laugh at.

Some things are funny because they're weird or run counter to our own logic or social habits. This is why a dog chasing it's tail is funny or why The Far Side is still syndicated.

I tend to loathe humor based in the defensive reinforcement of ignorance.

But all this humor is dependent on you. Humor is not an intrinsic property. We project ourselves, our biases, experiences and ideas, onto the joke. This is the very basis of catharsis and it's why sit coms about dysfunctional families or hicks spouting racist ideas are funny for some. It's why all my leftist slacker friends can't get enough of the Daily Show. It speaks to their own assumptions about something and seeing someone charismatic or clever reinforcing those ideas is a cathartic release for the audience (for better or worse).

I dislike ignorant humor but I will defend it's right to exist to the death. People have the right to be stupid and you have the right to change the channel. So do I.

Long live humor and may everyone find something that they truly find funny.

Cyran0