Humor can Harm?

I remember a lecture in a psych class about humor. Of course what is funny to one person might not be funny to someone else. We have differences in our responses to humor because we have different anxiety levels, and get more or less tense or anxious about different things in accordance with our experience, values, etc.

In order for a joke or anything else to be funny, it must create an increase in tension, and then a release of that tension. It is the release of tension that we experience as humor. But it only works if the levels are appropriate for us. If it doesn't raise tension enough, it isn't funny (the joke goes over 'like a lead balloon." But if it raises tension too much, then it isn't funny because our anxiety level is too high and stays there.

For example, to little kids, a clown whose pants fall down might be hillarious. That's something that little kids might relate to and feel some tension about, and when it happens to an adult, it releases the child's tension about being in that situation themself. Most adults don't get as much from that clown routine though, because we don't have issues with our clothes falling off, so it doesn't raise our tension level and there is nothing to release.

And when a joke hits too close to home, it isn't funny because it offends us and we stay offended. Or if it scares us, etc. That's why humor must be sensitive to the audience it is presented to.

This frog of little brain would probably not be alive today without humor. With that said, can humor harm......absolutely. Does all humor harm, I don't think so.

Some humor is hateful and spiteful, but the idea that you might not enjoy any humor saddens me. Not all humor belittles others. Not all humor pokes fun at serious situtaions.

Do you not find humor in things you do or don't do? Must everything have a purpose or an alternative meaning?

Like this a.m. when I picked up the TV remote and tried to make a phone call. As a frog of little brain I found humor in that situation. After I had a good belly laugh, I put down the remote and found the phone.

Oh well, I guess I've said too much.
Say hello to the mountains for me.

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kebsfroggy said:
Like this a.m. when I picked up the TV remote and tried to make a phone call. As a frog of little brain I found humor in that situation. After I had a good belly laugh, I put down the remote and found the phone.

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Oh, froggy, that is so true! I remember when my father had to answer the phone in the middle of the night during a hurricane (he was in the Navy and in charge of getting ships out to sea so they wouldn't get wrecked) and my mother said he answered the ice bucket lid!

Hi Kebs, Perna...

earlier in the thread i said:

"im not saying humor has to die... i just wish more of our society would take these things into consideration.. imo, havent we all hurt enough already?"

but i probably misconstrued something... hope you both are well today (smile)

Yes, I believe humor can harm. Although I love to laugh.
When I use to work, they called me giggles. My sister and I
would have laughing contests. I always won. I have laughed so hard that I have cried. But, I also believe in good respectful humor. The other day I fell again on the sidewalk. It was not funny at the time, Now it is, because
all I can remember is me laying on the sidewalk with my
left arm stretched out as if I was trying to touch a baseball
base. I just laid there for a few minutes looking at the sky.
Then my mom asked me, Aren't you going to get up ?

Ha Ha !!!

Oh well, Hope everyone has a nice day.

Giggles.

i need a whole lot of endorphins.

not trying to be funny here, but did you know... peppers release endorphins?

((((ww)))

I will agree with you that sometimes humor can be hurtful. Most of the humor used on this site is well thought out and if directed at another person it is generally written or sent or in the case of chat, typed to a person that enjoys the humor of the moment. But sometimes in chat, I know some sometimes get carried away in the heat of the moment and humor turns ugly. As for jokes written in books or seen on TV, or sent out in other various ways, no matter how much care or thought put into such jokes, there is aways going to be someone who is offended by what is said. This is just human nature, we are all different and things said or written affect us or cause triggers that hurt.
I hope being here on this site helps you in dealing with the hurtful things in your life and know that we are all struggling to deal with our emotions in one way or the other. But we also try very hard not to hurt anyone else, but try to instead be a new friend.

well, i am glad to make your aquaintance 1oxbow... thank you for your thoughtful contributions

i know that mch of what ive brought up is "incidental" harm.. but harm is harm...

ive lived in this counrty now 44 years and watched the changing social, political, religious, etc.. scenery...

when i measure what it all has brought us, sometimes i really do wonder if humans are capable of managing "freedom".. (and since i am human, this staetement includes myself)

i'm only saying... could we be a little more considerate?

i laugh, everyne knows it... but it brings up the point several have made... knowing the difference between healthy and unhealthy humor, for me, making a choice to contribute to the one, and watch the other slowly wither and hopefully die...

Perna made some great points... just don't laugh... "that kind" of humor is not humor at all...

change the channel... well, i really wish that idea worked, but obviously, it doesn't... i hope people have noted the increases in youth gangs and every other kind of peace destroying commodity in our cities and towns...

i know ive noticed... and it just gets crazier every season...

i know i sound like a disgruntled old man... i hate feeling or sounding that way... but, dangit, am i and those whove spoken here the only ones who care?

i prefer to think not..

i know im not often piping the popular song... but this to me isnt a popularity contest... im sick of watching my brothers and sisters suffer for childish reasons...

i want to grow, i wish we all could... i would love it if America itself would grow up...

What was it that I said to you the other day. Darrel? You said something to the effect that I got a "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" from you. I sure hope it didn't hurt!

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_Sky said:
I'll take all the endorphins I can find!

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Ain't THAT the truth!

I agree with all those that think Laughter is the Best Medicine!! Works for me!

Only thing I don't like is ethnic jokes and much LESS blonde jokes... and I'm a brunette.

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1oxbowgirl said:
I will agree with you that sometimes humor can be hurtful. Most of the humor used on this site is well thought out and if directed at another person it is generally written or sent or in the case of chat, typed to a person that enjoys the humor of the moment. But sometimes in chat, I know some sometimes get carried away in the heat of the moment and humor turns ugly.

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1oxbow.. i know the mods and Doc John were working on these issues.. i dont use chat, the reason you give is partly why... BiPolar_Bear, moderator of Depression Forum can probably lead you in the right direction regarding this...

does anybody remember the slap stick days of lewis and martin...abbott and costello...the three stooges...laural and hardy...these were halirious people who did much harm to themselves to bring laughter to so many...but we ask why would poking someone in the eyes or slapping them in the back of the head be funny or the misunderstanding humour of laurel and hardy and the confusion of abbott and costello or the over the top halarity of jerry lewis...why would any of this be funny...because they took normal human traits and used them to show ourselves as we really are...confused, hurtful, and misunderstood...let's jump ahead to the present...a stand-up comic just mirrors what all of us are like...a person like jim cary who twists himself up into knots and beats himself senseless to make us laugh...what humour really is is just a mirror of the stupidity and misunderstandings that we all go through at some point of our lives...now an ethnic joke like when can you tell that a paki(please excuse the expression) has grown up? when he wears his diaper on his head...when I first heard this joke I laughed and not because it was funny to me but because of where I was and whom I was with...and no I am not proud of this...I really didn't undertand the joke...because I knew nothing of east indian culture...but I knew that they wore turbins...and it goes on and on...hatred will always breed stupidity which in turn will breed a need for humour to change the situation we have found ourselves in...and nowheretorun...this is a very good posting and I regret my first reaction to it...again please accept my apology...

WOW! i gotta say i didnt expect this huge of a response, thanks everyone... i couldn;t reply to everyone, and the massive quoting i want to insert here is huge cause everyone really gave some great info and shared like and stuff

to those i didnt reply to (i made a list and checked it twice)
Sassypants, SeptMorn, Pinksoil, Sky, Cyrano, HeyJoe, et al.... thanks very much for helping

I kinda summarized everybodys input... feel free to correct me if i mixed it up...

Humor brings up the topic of laughter... many people believe laughter is good medicine...

Humor was described as healthy and unhealthy...

Humor has physical, emotional, psychological benefits...

Humor can be triggering

Humor exposes

Humor has power

im getting overwhelmed again.....

Mystry, for real, I think you're pretty cool... apology totally accepted... I like your work... a lot ... (friendly smile)

Don't you just love opening a can of worms to find the suprise at the bottom of the box.

Thanks for starting the thread and for all the lessons learned.

you are so right Kebs... can i say... catharsis?

one last question if no one minds and i'd really like your input, so everyone...

would you agree or disagree... smiles are less harmful than jokes?

Ok, I have steered away from this thread up till now because yes 'humor' can be harmful.

As a child my so called carers would make great fun of me, yes they thought it was funny. The grown-ups made fun of a child. Not funny at all and very hurtful.

True humor to me is when we laugh with someone NOT at someone.

All children will laugh at silly things that happen, and this is good. As adults when we laugh it is because the child-part within us can see the silliness and it sure is good for us to be able to laugh. Indeed it can be very healing. My T will often use humor near the end of a session so that I can go back out and face the world.

Let's be mindful that some humor can trigger and is harmful but let's enjoy and rejoice that we can still enjoy and laugh.

thanks pegasus and i just realized i did leave someone out... Echoes and BiPolarBear... thank you too .. (hope thats everyone )

In my folb opinion, smiles and jokes are two different animals, like pizza and caviar.

Jokes are ....... ah, hmmmmm....oh shoot can't think of the word. Ok, jokes are mental......well not the word I was looking for but will have to do. Our brains receive and translate.

Smiles on the other hand are more like glimses of your soul, emotional. They can reflect happiness, love or just familiarity to name a few. They are also used to mask feelings like sorrow, pain and disillusionment.

Did I answer your question

yes... and yes...

you answered what is a smile made of, in your own view... thats cool...

to me, smiling is greeting... you'll really think i'm nuts now but, im remembering something related to the old western movies, the crafty old cowboy would smile, at the poker table... time would freeze a moment, then the pistol shot from under the table...

but... smiling delivers an unspoken intention in most cases.. of kindness and friendliness... helpfulness and caring...

and then i think of the grinning fox... etc...

anyone else have some thoughts?

I like your analogy, Keby; pizza and caviar.

I'm just wondering, though. There are cheap imitations of both. To me, the smile has to be in the eyes, too, not just the lips. The eyes tell the whole story to me.

From the time my daughter started dating, the first thing I'd look at was the boy's eyes. I've seen angels clear on down to demons! If I couldn't see their smile reflected in their eyes, then it was danger time! There was one boy/man whose eyes I could not see at all! My sixth sense proved to be right.

Smiles can be fake and frozen but they can also be warming, the kind you want to pass on... just like words, I suppose. It depends on the sincerety.

I'm well acquainted with that kind of humor, Pegs. I grew up with it as well, found it existed in the extended family and when I married to get out of the system, I found I had jumped from the frying pan into the fire. Some "pet" names were Wetback, Tub o' Lard, Crisco, Jelly Jar... because "jam don't shake like that." According to "him", it was hilarious because it showed that he "loved" me because otherwise he wouldn't tease me.

Very reminicent of Don Rickles. THAT is hurtful humor. In fact, I don't find it funny AT ALL. It's degrading and insulting!

EDIT: Even Jerry Lewis has been known to insult people in the audience. I saw him in person long ago. A small child was crying. Annoying, yes, but what Lewis did was awful! He told the mother to "stick a t*t in it's mouth and shut it up!" Of course, the crowd roared. I can imagine how that poor mother felt.