Where did it go?

I'm looking for my old life-- the one that existed before the depression. Please let me know if anyone finds it because this is tearing me up. I want to write my poems again. I want to get excited about the holidays. I want to draw again. I want to decorate my house again. I cannot be like this anymore.

it is right where you left it?

i can understand pinksoil... it's find-able again... gotta believe it...

there's many causes for losing our way... its all pretty confusing sometimes.. it confused me a long time i know... but i understand it better now... hope you will too...

Poor baby.

((((((((((((((( pink )))))))))))))))

aw keep trying for it. You've got people here for you, and I'm guessing you have people around you in real life too

don't give up and good luck

I soooooo know what you are going through. I'm still looking for my other me.

Oh my friend I hope you find
The self you use to be
Somewhere deep inside it hides
Waiting to be free

Once full of life, love and fun
Now an empty shell
The disease known as depression
Is a living h***

When you find your other me
And feel all whole within
It is my hope above all else
You’ll never be lost again

((((((((((( pinksoil )))))))))))

love Jin.....xxxxx

Thank you for all the replies.

I didn't go to my internship today.

I need to go to Staples to fax something. I don't know if I can do it.

I'm losing everything. It is so bad today.

I know where you're coming from. I too fear Staples.

Ok, jokes when you're feeling down aren't always appreciated. But I had to try to bring a smile to your face, dear friend. I hope you feel better.

Cyran0

OMG, that is exactly how I feel, only my happy happy self was before i was married for the first time...i lost myself the first time i allowed him to hit me(when i was 8 months preggers with first son at 18 yrs old) and stayed with him...i dont think i will ever be able to go back to being that happy carefree person with the years i subjected myself to that and the depression that has settled on my soul like the blight that takes out whole crops.

Many ppl have told me, 'you can't go back, you have learned, grown and can be happy, you just got to do it, be a new person'...ummmmm, i dont have the instruction book to reprogram myself...every once in a while the sky clears and the sun bursts thru and i see happiness. i live for those moments. i live for the smell of a plant, my hands in dirt, sweeping the living room and picking it up and satisfied that i accomplished something. I have support from my hubby who calls me gorgeous and beautiful and even when i argue that i am not, it tickles the blackest darkest part of me and allows me a moment of insight.

I am so sorry depression has befallen you...please, i dont know what i am trying to say...just hang in there and take a moment each day to say something reaffirming, loving towards your self and i hope you find what you want yourself to be.

melanie

I know what you mean, fellow.
Where is my youth? Yes, I use to ask it to myself.
I know I was happy as a child, but I only know it from old soundless films shot by my uncle. No memory except bad ones. Is there a way out? I hope so, for me, you and all the other ones.

i know what you mean, pink. i'm looking for the old me, as well. i don't mind changing, but i want my old self back. the self that can experience joy, pleasure, and excitement. the self that is creative and motivated to do all kinds of activities. i'm a completely different personality with my depression. you'd be amazed at the difference.

You have it with you, it's deep inside your heart. I know how sometimes it seems unthinkable to imagine how you felt "before", but its not. Anything is possible if you put your mind into it.

Can you think of the things you use to enjoy? what made you happy? Who were the people that made you feel good about yourself? What were things you did just for you, instead of the things that you do for other people.

If you can answer some of these questions, it might help point you in the right direction. Nothing is ever truly lost ... especially when it comes from your heart.

Sometimes have to feel lost in order to be found.

xoxo