Listening

My mom... i visit with her and wait for her to say something i can respond to... it isnt hard to care... she keeps a lot to herself and little glimpses she gives me are important so i can know better what she might need...

she's hurt so much.. my own depression is slight in comparison...

((((nwtr))) Please don't compare. I just wrote up a draft blog about how that gets us into trouble... "funny" you should use that term.

Each of you have your own "right" to your pain and suffering, and one does not diminish the other, nor take from the other's. I'm sorry you are both hurting.

Maybe she's waiting for you to say something she can respond to.

You sound like a good son. It's good what we can learn through listening.

thanks Sky, Perna... it'll take me time to absorb what you said.. each gave me great insights and inspiration...

God, i'm still learning to communicate! Just now she asked if i could help get her car started.. batteries dead... so, that will give me a project, she's gonna update me on the cous/child abuse/se assault matter later too... and my 1/2 sis is coming with the new baby : )

so begins another day ... Peace All...

You don't work today? Nice "easy," practical project getting the car running? Your niece or nephew? Do you have some little toy or rattle your mother can give to the baby? She might like that? My stepmother and I use to do that for her mother, get a "collection" of cards so she'd have birthday cards, etc. to give/send with a bit of a choice, something for her to "do" and feel like she could do. If the 1/2 sis lives in the area you might get a little collection of baby books, rattles, etc.; 4-5 things so your mother has some little new thing to give the baby. Older women often like that I think, makes them feel more participatory.

no Perna, not a big complicated thing.. run to the supply store, buy a battery, take out the old one, install the new one...

jump starting it wont do any good.. winter is just getting started so unless i wanna jump start her everyday... this is the way to do it...

all the cousin stuff is too time consuming to go into right now... mostly ive been keeping it updated on a post in mens forum... but it gets smattered here and there on different posts at times

the sun's breaking thru clouds at times, warming a bit... wish it'd stay out...

i like the idea of having some gifts nearby mom can give... that'll really help matters Perna.. thanks again (smile)

((((((((((((((( nowheretorun )))))))))))))))

I agree with Sky, comparing ourselves to others is not helpful to say the least

I'm sorry you're both in pain

((((((((((((nowheretorun)))))))))))))
We can only control ourselves and our own actions. It's really nice that you can recognize you're mother's pain, but that does not minimize yours. We are all human.

(((((((Fuzzy and Jacq))))))))))