I am not going to socialize. The damage has been already done. Nobody will tell me this because they know committing suicide or baiting suicide is illegal. So yes, I am not going to a life that I always wanted.

In fact, it's a fact I lack skills required to become a scientist... and none of this is even my fault... so yes, my life's a waste. All I ever wanted to do, was just to heal people. But let's go according to a saying, how are you going to save others when you couldn't save yourself?

So yes, screw becoming a scientist, having friends, partners and family. Screw all of this. I have almost no hope.

But hey, at least I tried.,, and it's sufficient.

[FriendlyJoe]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am not going to socialize. The damage has been already done. Nobody will tell me this because they know committing suicide or baiting suicide is illegal. So yes, I am not going to a life that I always wanted.

In fact, it's a fact I lack skills required to become a scientist... and none of this is even my fault... so yes, my life's a waste. All I ever wanted to do, was just to heal people. But let's go according to a saying, how are you going to save others when you couldn't save yourself?

So yes, screw becoming a scientist, having friends, partners and family. Screw all of this. I have almost no hope.

But hey, at least I tried.,, and it's sufficient.

On my drive home I had so much on my mind I dont remember most of the 30 min drive.

I hate my wife, she's the laziest person I've ever been with. I like to be spontaneous and do all kinds of activities but she just wants to do is watch TV. I started hanging out with a friend all the time. We went hiking, shopping, going out for lunch, taking walks, and falling in love. Yup I've fallen In love with a friend and she doesnt feel the same towards me. How awful.

I've got my goal set that I'm going to be the next CEO of my company. Since I'm always lonely I might as well do something with all my time.

I have no idea what I was going with all this but hang in there. I've signed up for tomorrows bipolar group meeting so I've got something new and interesting to try. Have you tried a group meeting before?

Feel feel to message me.

[OliverB]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am not going to socialize. The damage has been already done. Nobody will tell me this because they know committing suicide or baiting suicide is illegal. So yes, I am not going to a life that I always wanted.

In fact, it's a fact I lack skills required to become a scientist... and none of this is even my fault... so yes, my life's a waste. All I ever wanted to do, was just to heal people. But let's go according to a saying, how are you going to save others when you couldn't save yourself?

Some skills can be learnt later in life, it is not all lost.

(Due to childhood neglect, I was misdiagnosed with autism as a child -I didn't learn what I had to when I had to-. Nevertheless, last summer I did some voluntary work with a research team at a psychiatric hospital, the article I wrote may be published. It's a small step, but it is something. Sometimes what seems to be impossible ends up being possible years later)

It's difficult to help others while you are not feeling well enough, but you can take small steps that eventually lead you to what you want, even if right now you can't directly go for it.

(I lost a whole college year due to CPTSD, depression, psychosis, ... and haven't made a friend there yet..... but I get along with some professors, which is enough for my future...)

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, TheLonelyChemist Please don't give up. This must be very hard for you. Try to hang on. I'm sure you'll be able to achieve your dream. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. You can learn skills later in your life. You're constantly learning in life. Don't give up hope! I hope things will get better soon for you. I'm sure you'll be able to achieve wonderful things. Believe in yourself. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, TheLonelyChemist. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Originally Posted by OliverB

Some skills can be learnt later in life, it is not all lost.

(Due to childhood neglect, I was misdiagnosed with autism as a child -I didn't learn what I had to when I had to-. Nevertheless, last summer I did some voluntary work with a research team at a psychiatric hospital, the article I wrote may be published. It's a small step, but it is something. Sometimes what seems to be impossible ends up being possible years later)

It's difficult to help others while you are not feeling well enough, but you can take small steps that eventually lead you to what you want, even if right now you can't directly go for it.

(I lost a whole college year due to CPTSD, depression, psychosis, ... and haven't made a friend there yet..... but I get along with some professors, which is enough for my future...)

Well I hope I learn them. I just hope I can socialize and have friends...

I get along with my professors as well. School isn't as hard as you can believe it is... wish you all the best.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, TheLonelyChemist Please don't give up. This must be very hard for you. Try to hang on. I'm sure you'll be able to achieve your dream. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. You can learn skills later in your life. You're constantly learning in life. Don't give up hope! I hope things will get better soon for you. I'm sure you'll be able to achieve wonderful things. Believe in yourself. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, TheLonelyChemist. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Thank you Mickey for your support.

I can be whoever I want... I just need to give the effort. Thanks.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am not going to socialize. The damage has been already done. Nobody will tell me this because they know committing suicide or baiting suicide is illegal. So yes, I am not going to a life that I always wanted.

In fact, it's a fact I lack skills required to become a scientist... and none of this is even my fault... so yes, my life's a waste. All I ever wanted to do, was just to heal people. But let's go according to a saying, how are you going to save others when you couldn't save yourself?

So yes, screw becoming a scientist, having friends, partners and family. Screw all of this. I have almost no hope.

But hey, at least I tried.,, and it's sufficient.

I'm going through similar right now, just restarted my doctorate and yet constantly questioning if I am ever going to be strong enough to do it, or have the ability. I keep deciding to pack it all in, then not to, can't make up my mind. Couldn't even summon up the will to go out for a walk on Sunday with friends, just wanted to cocoon.