Having a rough go

Been really down lately. I find myself crying in my car. I think I may call my dr, but I really dont want drugs and I have no time for therapy. I just want to crawl in a hole and never return. Everything is s**t lately. Cant win. My kid hates me. What am I supposed to do?

There are many different meds nowadays. They don’t have to imply a big burden of side effects. It’s a matter of find the one that it suits you the best.

Why do you think/feel/know your kid hates you?

Are you able to sleep ok? Eating healthy? Doing some exercise?
Sometimes, even without taking an antidepressant, doing other things that are not therapy can improve your mood. Specially sleeping and the food. There are meds that can help you to sleep better (a common problem with depression that makes depression worse, even melatonin (a food supplement) may help.

What does your doctor offers you as a solution if you tell him the same you have told us?

What about one day a month therapy?

((((((metalchick))))))

Sometimes some down time can help
Connecting with your inner child
What might be the emotion they are reacting to?
Does it help to tell yourself, you are having a flashback.

You are not alone
This time will pass...

In case any of these tips help I have a link...

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Much love to you

Thank you for your replies. I would love to exercise, but an injury is preventing me from that. I need surgery, but cannot afford the time off from work. My company gives a 50% pay cut off the bat, and my kids father is no help in terms of out financial well being. I have discussed this with him and he response is "oh well". My family could help, but refuses as long as he is living with me. My oldest us giving me a super hard time. I mean how can we live in s**t when I work all the time? I am doing what I feel I need to do to survive and keep everything afloat. There is no winning. I try to eat well, but it is extremely hard when most of the time, I don't even get a break. So if I am lucky, I get to eat at 2 pm... I leave my house at 515 in the morning. Maybe I get to scarf down some leftover pizza. My weekends are for catching up on laundry, cleaning...grocery shopping, etc....I am soooooo sad and depressed...It won't quit. Maybe life for everybody would be better if I was gone.

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, metalchick I'd encourage you to talk to your doctor about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he will be able to help you. I know you don't want to try meds, but I think it may really help you right now. I'd also suggest to try out therapy if you can. Perhaps you can talk to your therapist and try to work around your schedule to better suit your needs. I don't think that would be impossible. Even if you saw your therapist only once or twice a month, that would be a great improvement! I'm so sorry your work doesn't let you keep an healthy lifestyle. That sucks. It's really important. Perhaps you could start looking for another job if you can. Perhaps one that it's less stressful. I'm so sorry. It must be very hard for you. Please don't give up. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. We'll always be here for you. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, metalchick. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Try to hang on. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

((((((((( metalchick )))))))))

Much love and hugs from me

I’m sorry a lot and understand your situation better then you explained deeply what is going on in your life now and the stress you are dealing with, nearly alone.
You are in a vicious circle. Depression rest lots of energy and it’s needed a time for yourself to recovering but with all that stress and responsibilities.
You were told very insightful words here and you already notice that you need a help. So, let’s do the best for your kid and for you, let yourself help. A person is not a superhero, and when stress hits, depression grows. Let your doctor, your family gives you a hand.
What OliberB said about taking something for a time to let you sleep and recharge energy is very important. Since depression tends to steal lots of physical strength too.
We support you here.

My dear, this is really hard. Even reading your post made me to put my thinking hat and think how I can help.

I will tell you what I learned recently. Take care of yourself is an imperative for all caregivers. To be "selfish" is now called self-care. Think about your self care.
Please, think about surgery and not about time off. You have so many balls in air..
Do you have a good friend who knows to listen? If you have that kind of person call her/him and arrange coffee time.

My problem with finding help, is there is no time for that. I have to work. I have to pay the bills...I have no other option as I choose a career that requires long hours. I have expressed my desire to do something different. But it all falls on deaf ears. I am losing valuable time with my kids. When I am off from work...on the weekends...I am left with a pile of mess that I don't even know how to begin. My kids dad tells them that is it ridiculous that I wake them up so early in the morning. My kids hate me for that, but I have to do it, to go to work (which I am late for everyday). Everyone hates me. I have no one to lean on. It's this big circle of sadness and despair. There is no way out of this.

If you need someone to listen, send me private message.. I will ..
you are really in distress and your ex does not help at all.