fed up with being ill

i can see no light at the end of the tunnel, . it has become that bad lately that i am questioning my reasons for being here on pc.......
i have changed my aviator because i just couldnt be the funny old trm anymore, my mood is changing and i am letting my demons start to take control again........
i am just fed up being ill all the time, im not any help at home, making decisions or opening the mail scares me to death.
a couple weeks ago i asked my pdoc to put me in hospital, for my own safety,......... he refused,,,, and told me to start taking my meds again........ so thats what im doing.
but do i feel any safer ???? the answer is ......... i have just got fed up being ill all the time.

i have pmed the doc to ask for advice over my membership.............

dec xox

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low and so hopeless.

If you put a smile on your face to mask the pain people do not believe you are ill. If you let the shadows of sorrow show upon your face then it's "hang in there, things will get better".

Few seem to understand for some of us it never gets better. You are so tired of being ill but nothing seems to lift the cloud of depression.

Ohly you can make the final decision about PC, but I for one will miss you.
((((((( Dec )))))))

those ARE some blazing icons TRM... just met you and know i'd miss you already.... hope the pdoc puts a nod to PC... hopefully for me i mean... cause you're cool imo ...

Dear brother
in time all this will pass
I know its hard
You my friend are a shinning light
(((((((((((((((dec))))))))))

know how you feel......

(((((((((((((((( Dec ))))))))))))))))


Friends always,
love,
Fuzzy

PS I'd miss you very much if you left .... you're a very valuable member and a wonderful caring person and Fuzzybear is always right. I hope the crap leaves you alone soon, but if it doesn't there are plenty in the crap to keep you company, including me

If you do leave though please keep in touch, friends always xoxox

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{dec}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

please please please dont go....holding on to your leg.....

if you need to take a break, you are part of pc, you would be missed too much, I'm so sorry you feel so bad, it will pass, it will...we all get tired of this darned horrible flaming depression....its ugly and hard and draining, but you WILL get better baby.

Please keep in touch somehow, or I'll have to come down to Cornwall and duck-tape you to the puter.....not joking

you're loved....I'll shut up....except......please think about it.......ok I've shut up.....



DecifyougoI'llmissyou...... Kerry xxx

We all go through periods of time where we struggle and second guess and question our very existence at times. You do good stuff here at PC. Maybe not all the time, do you find it your best, but it's good. It's ok that you also need time for yourself, but don't quit this great site that does help you and gives you a place to support others.

It's a long process, but it's a good one. It's a good path you're on...stick with us.

I am going through a very bad depression as well. There are times when I feel totally useless here because I can't even focus enough to read the posts. However, even when I feel like that I still click around on the different forums and threads, try to skim, maybe pop into chat, post something-- and I realized that even though I might be feeling useless to others on this site, I am still on here for ME. It is helping me to just maintain that one little connection. So I urge you to stay on PC, maintain a little connection. Let others support you.