[15anddepressed]

Second post here. If you want context on my situation, you can read my first post.

I knew he held questionable views about depression but this sealed the deal.

My dad said to me in his little lecture today that there could be a number reasons why I don't want to do anything, but it doesn't matter what it is, be it depression because the "cure" is to just do something. I get what he is trying to say, but it just felt off to me. He's said some similar stuff before, but now I know that telling him I'm depressed probably won't change much, let alone him taking me to see someone. Pretty easy to tell a depressed person to just do something when they have no motivation in the first place. The whole reason why you do something is because you have motivation, so doing that thing if you have no motivation is not going to magically give you motivation. It's not like he's going to believe me anyways, considering how he views me now he'd probably think it was some kind of excuse which he thinks it isn't one. Which I get, it isn't a complete excuse not to do anything but just saying "do something" accomplishes nothing.

[Thirty shades]

Your Dad does not sound sympathetic to your mental and emotional health.

Have you heard of complex PTSD?

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Many suffer depression as a result.

There are many kind people who understand here.

[15anddepressed]

Thanks, he doesn't know I have depression or any mental issues for that matter. I'm not sure but I don't think it's that bad. I haven't experienced any severe trauma, just prolonged sadness, lack of motivation, the standard stuff.

[Mopey]

Yes, "15", that sounds a lot like depression.

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Yes, "15", that sounds a lot like depression.

Thanks. Words like those help a lot.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Hi..

I just read your other post. Sounds to me like your parents are emotionally neglecting you - which can lead to a lot of mental health issues both during the neglect (which is a type of "silent abuse") and even later in life. If you are not aware of what "childhood emotional neglect" is - here are links explaining the basics of it:

What is emotional neglect? :
What is Emotional Neglect? | Psychology Today

How does emotional neglect affect a child?
Emotional Neglect

How does emotional neglect affect us?

The Unseen Root of Many Disorders: Childhood Emotional Neglect

An in depth article -

Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect - New Directions in Child Abuse and Neglect Research - NCBI Bookshelf

I hope this helps you understand there is nothing wrong with you and I am sorry you are going through this. You do, however, need to find help (and possibly a way to have SOMEONE ELSE show your parents their error) as soon as possible so this does not bleed over into your adulthood as well. It is good you are searching for help now.

[15anddepressed]

Thanks a lot. It seems that it is definitely relevant to me. I'll read into it. Unfortunately, I have no avenue for help. I am home schooled, practically have no friends, living in a Thailand in a very local suburban area, have no options near me in terms of clubs and stuff (I do go to BJJ classes, but it's adult classes). None of my family knows, my extended families aren't an option either. My dad's side is in America, and my mom's side are in Japan and they are strangers to me (practically never met them). The only thing I have is the internet.

[sarahsweets]

I think telling him depends on what you expect to get from him. I do not know if you will get the validation and understanding you need so telling him might hurt your feelings.

Hello 15anddepressed

thank you for sharing your truth with us here. We BELIEVE you and we know your struggle is real. We know you cannot just force yourself through anhedonia and prolonged sadness.

My question for you would be: do you feel a need to confide in your father? Ideally, you would of course be able to open up to your father and receive empathy and support. But in reality you seem to have astutely identified your father's personal bias or low emotional intelligence. He simply does not understand and does not appear open (not at the moment anyway) to learn more. So, what if you don't tell him and find someone more appropriate to confide in?

I did not read your other post, sorry. Have you spoken with a doctor? I don't think you need to bring your father along.

I live with depression. One of the best tips I can give you is try not to suffer alone in silence. When I don't talk to someone about how I'm feeling, the negative thoughts and feelings seem to gain weight and bother me even more.

Also, the earlier you receive support the easier it is to get back on track. You sound very intelligent and self-aware. I think you'd benefit from therapy. Ever thought about it? They can teach you strategies and provide support. Plenty of therapists offer therapy online now via Skype or over the phone.

And always remember that the crisis lines are available if you ever feel overwhelmed or just really need another person to listen without judgment.

I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future. You DESERVE to be happy and well

"I am home schooled, practically have no friends, living in a Thailand in a very local suburban area, have no options near me in terms of clubs and stuff (I do go to BJJ classes, but it's adult classes). None of my family knows, my extended families aren't an option either."

I just read this post. The level of isolation you live with is enough to trigger some depression. I know that you don't feel that you can talk to a friend or family member....what is healthcare like where you are....can you speak with a local doctor? I think that's a safe place to start.

And of course talk to us as much as you like to

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

"I am home schooled, practically have no friends, living in a Thailand in a very local suburban area, have no options near me in terms of clubs and stuff (I do go to BJJ classes, but it's adult classes). None of my family knows, my extended families aren't an option either."

I just read this post. The level of isolation you live with is enough to trigger some depression. I know that you don't feel that you can talk to a friend or family member....what is healthcare like where you are....can you speak with a local doctor? I think that's a safe place to start.

And of course talk to us as much as you like to

Thanks. I don't know about mental health care around me. The nearest counseling place I found on google maps is a couple kilometers away and they aren't free. I don't think there's anything near me, and I can't really go out for a prolonged period of time without them knowing since we live in an apartment.

Originally Posted by 15anddepressed

Thanks. I don't know about mental health care around me. The nearest counseling place I found on google maps is a couple kilometers away and they aren't free. I don't think there's anything near me, and I can't really go out for a prolonged period of time without them knowing since we live in an apartment.

I understand. What about a regular doctor? Not a psychiatrist or psychologist. A local doctor at a clinic. You could just tell your family you have a headache that won't go away and you want to talk to a doctor about it.

[15anddepressed]

I'm not sure that would work. One of my parents would want to come with me. I'm also not sure if they could even provide mental health care, considering it's very local so I'd be a little skeptical about their credentials to deal with my issue. Thanks for the suggestion though.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 15anddepressed

Second post here. If you want context on my situation, you can read my first post.

I knew he held questionable views about depression but this sealed the deal.

My dad said to me in his little lecture today that there could be a number reasons why I don't want to do anything, but it doesn't matter what it is, be it depression because the "cure" is to just do something. I get what he is trying to say, but it just felt off to me. He's said some similar stuff before, but now I know that telling him I'm depressed probably won't change much, let alone him taking me to see someone. Pretty easy to tell a depressed person to just do something when they have no motivation in the first place. The whole reason why you do something is because you have motivation, so doing that thing if you have no motivation is not going to magically give you motivation. It's not like he's going to believe me anyways, considering how he views me now he'd probably think it was some kind of excuse which he thinks it isn't one. Which I get, it isn't a complete excuse not to do anything but just saying "do something" accomplishes nothing.

I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! I do understand how you feel!

Originally Posted by 15anddepressed

I'm not sure that would work. One of my parents would want to come with me. I'm also not sure if they could even provide mental health care, considering it's very local so I'd be a little skeptical about their credentials to deal with my issue. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I suggest you to let your doctor do the talking to your parents. It's not guaranteed to work, but hope for the best. Let the local doctor talk to your parents. But before that, make sure to answer your doctor's questions honestly. If he believes you have depression, he will refer you to a psychiatrist.

And also, I really suggest to not use the internet for self-diagnosing yourself. It will only make you feel worse and trapped. Use the internet to keep yourself occupied.

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I suggest you to let your doctor do the talking to your parents. It's not guaranteed to work, but hope for the best. Let the local doctor talk to your parents. But before that, make sure to answer your doctor's questions honestly. If he believes you have depression, he will refer you to a psychiatrist.

And also, I really suggest to not use the internet for self-diagnosing yourself. It will only make you feel worse and trapped. Use the internet to keep yourself occupied.

Thanks, but also another reason is because of this post and other things my dad said in the past about depression (especially in teens), I don't believe it will help. He already seems to believe that depression is not an excuse to "do nothing", and that if I had depression that "nothing" he'd say would matter because I will only end up killing myself. My mom seems to agree as well. If my doctor tells him, and it doesn't convince them (which I believe is the most likely outcome due to past events), then it will only end up making it worse knowing that they know that I have depression but aren't helping. Especially with how he already views me (lazy, selfish, etc.)

Originally Posted by 15anddepressed

Thanks, but also another reason is because of this post and other things my dad said in the past about depression (especially in teens), I don't believe it will help. He already seems to believe that depression is not an excuse to "do nothing", and that if I had depression that "nothing" he'd say would matter because I will only end up killing myself. My mom seems to agree as well. If my doctor tells him, and it doesn't convince them (which I believe is the most likely outcome due to past events), then it will only end up making it worse knowing that they know that I have depression but aren't helping. Especially with how he already views me (lazy, selfish, etc.)

A doctor may still be able to correct their views.

And don't overthink your depression. Just an advise.

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

A doctor may still be able to correct their views.

And don't overthink your depression. Just an advise.

True, I try not to. I don't feel like I'm overthinking, and looking at other people experiencing similar things actually helps. I'll think about it, right now it's not severe, but if it gets worse than I will consider it.