JUST-speaking my mind

"My mind is troubled like a fountain stirred, And I myself see not the bottom of it" William Shakespeare.

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light." PLATO

"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" Dogen Zenji

These all hit home for me and I am sure many of you.

When I was in chat last evening I left really fast. I appologize for this. I hope that nobody left because of my blubbering. I could not talk anymore at that time; I could barely read the screen. The tears would not stop. I am truly amazed at how caring all of you are. I have no friends here; aquaintences; but not good friends. I am really having a hard time coping and am very confused about next week with my doctor. I have a tendancy of shoving my feelings so deep that I have difficulties bringing them out. Its been okay here because I dont have to look at someone in the face; I am ashamed of who I have become. I adore my doctor as he has helped with many things already; I have never seen a doctor actually turn away from tears in my life until I met him. I know he has a hard time with these issues; especially when we are discussing my kids. He is amazing; I dont want him to be disappointed with all of the assistance he has given to us; even with the legal end. He has put forth a lot of energy to assist in removing my kids from their dads. Unfortunetly, we were not successful. I know I am just babbling; I cant sleep and I really need to talk. Well who knows what may come. If I am not around in the next couple of days, I could not get on the computer as I am taking my kids to their grandparents for a week. I am staying a couple of days but will be home for Tuesday.
Thanks and take care everyone.
Elizabeth

itsjustme I really love those quotes.

This is a hard time for you and I believe you are doing very well. You may think you are "falling apart" but you are doing the things that need to be done... it is not about the overwhelming emotions, it is that even with the overwhelming emotions you are taking care of the kids, taking them to their grandparents, planning for the doctor, trying your best to eat, etc.

Let the doctor help, that is what he is there for. He is a professional, there to help, not to be "disappointed" or judgemental but rather to help you get to the best place you can be.

If it helps, try writing down some of your feelings and fear to take to the doc with you. Print out your messages here if you want to. Make a list of things that concern you about the court hearing and checking about postponing it or what you need to do to be ready for it. By writing it down, if you feel shy when you get to his office you can give it to him or refer to it and make sure he knows the things that he has to know to help you.

Good luck

PS thanks for letting us know you will be at the Grandparents... we will look forward to hearing from you when you return. In the meantime, let them help with the kids and try to get some rest if you can.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

((((((Dexter))))))))))) Those are really good ideas. I will do this. Thank you; made me feel better. I want you to know that I love your replies; you give many different perpectives and it really makes me think.
You are a kind person. Thank you.
itsjustme

"Just" speaking heheheh clever...

Okay what you are experiencing is really normal... but you really need to pace yourself. Well, you might need help in pacing yourself... and I think you have a good T who will recognize what is happening, if you share enough, and she will help you pace.

There is so much inside you. So much that needs to come out and be cleared. You have confidence in a T now, someone you trust WOW how exciting! You have hope! How wonderful! These are all good things, and all of us here have good wishes for you.

But we also know there are tough times ahead... and you will have to work through many issues... and the mind and your emotions can not deal with them all at once (even though we wish we could, and be done with them.)

Pace yourself. Choose the things most important. I think you have, already. Try not to do too much more before you see your T on Wednesday... you'll be okay. OKAY?

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

Wow I love the quotes. Especially the Plato one. Hang in there

¡Adrienne!
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://rebelindisguise.cjb.net>http://rebelindisguise.cjb.net</A>
"Why do we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to heal our women, be real to our women."-Tupac Shakur

(((((((((((((((((((((just))))))))))))))))))))) Please know that I am thinking about you Write to me any time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Please be proud of how you are handling things. You are carrying a heavy load and it takes a lot.
People tend to be hard on themselves when in situations that are difficult. Just know that is takes energy and it is good you have a t, and are aware of what you are dealing with.

It takes time, energy and commitment at your end to move forward. You are OK, you are doing just fine. Love yourself and keep focus. I'll agree Dexter is a beautiful person but SO ARE YOU.

gab