[Humpty Dumpty]

After a series of several "good" weeks I can feel myself sliding down again. I know what's coming and I can't stop it. I see the rock bottom quickly approaching and there's no way to stop.
It's like I'm sliding down a slide. I see what's at the bottom. I know I'm going to crash into it, but I can't do anything about it. Jump off the slide? That will only hasten the inevitable. Try to grab on the sides and slow yourself down. If I slow down that just prolongs everything. It doesn't stop anything. I have been down thus slide so many times before. I hate it. "If you really hate it then you would do something about it."
That may be true. I have tried and nothing works. I'm just doomed to repeat this endless cycle.

[MickeyCheeky]

I understand your feelings and they are valid. I'm so sorry for what you're going through! You've said you've had a few good weeks - perhaps we can work on increasing the amount of good weeks between one episode or another. What do you think? Perhaps we can even increase exactly how MUCH good do you feel. Please don't give up hope. You're stronger than you think and I don't think that the worst-case scenario is inevitable. Try to do your best. Living can be hard sometimes. I'm sure you have that strength in yourself though. I'm glad you're here and that you're reaching out. You are ALREADY doing something about it even though you can't see it at the moment. Please be proud of yourself for the steps you're taking! It is NOT easy! Please be kind to yourself and stay safe, my dear, sweet friend! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and your Wife, Humpty Dumpty!

[JustExisting]

I have been feeling the same lately. I feel ridiculous because right now things in my life are better than they ever have been. I feel like I dont deserve all the good I currently have and I fear losing it. In fact I feel certain I will lose it and I know I can't handle it when that does happen.

I have been feeling so much fear and sorrow lately.


Like you I am trying to make my situation better, but it always feels like I am just prolonging the inevitable crash. Like I am fooling myself to think things can actually get better (in my mind). Maybe we are just wired for hopelessness and no matter how our situation changes we will always default to that (or similar) state of mind.

[Thirty shades]

Humpty Dumpty

Sending fortitude and hugs to deal with the low mood ahead.

[LittleEarthquakes]

I feel the exact same way right now. Abilify was helping my depression for a while but it stopped working. Now I'm in the middle of a severe depressive episode. I understand, and I'm here for you. Please reach out if you want to talk.

[Humpty Dumpty]

I'm sorry your meds quit working.