[giddykitty]

@the walls
My jaw pops a lot now even when just opening a little and my dentist said that it's probably misaligned (or it definitely is). But only to come in if it really bothers me. I'm not sure what would be done tho. Maybe braces? Maybe that's what she said? Gosh, I'd hate to have braces now! Sigh!

------
My check in-my mood was stabilizing, but now it's dropping again. I dunno. It's definitely situational...am I overreacting right now? (I'm disappointed I don't have time for both hanging out online and exercising tonight. Sigh!)

There were things for me to do today. My sister called and we had a pretty good talk. Also my friend called me and we ironed out what happened last Friday night when he had upset me. I didn't sleep well on Friday night and I was overthinking. So it was nice that we talked it over.

I made a batch of spaghetti sauce in the morning. It's enough for four servings; once a week for four weeks. After that I had lunch and then went on a three-hour bike ride.

[nikon]

@will19 - that's cool you had a good talk with your sister and sorted out the tension with your friend.

[nikon]

Really down today. Yesterday I was talking with two close friends, and tried to explain how I find it hard to tell my therapist how bad things are right while I'm in the middle of the bad patch. (That's because I would probably be hospitalised, and this would involve telling my family, and then I'd have to deal with their reactions - therefore making things worse in the long term). It felt like a mistake telling my friends this. One isn't a great listener - he just answers by telling me how that kind of thing has happened in his life and has been hard for him. My other friend just seemed to dismiss it, saying something like, I wouldn't really need to go into hospital if I had a couple of random suicidal thoughts, so there wasn't anything to be concerned about telling my therapist. It just felt so pointless trying to tell them. Like, it's not a few fleeting suicidal thoughts.

I'm so tired.

[Rose76]

My arm is very sore. I'm not really depressed. That's good.

I have a big ball of anxiety in my core over paperwork I have to get together by tomorrow for a benefit my s.o. gets. It's hard combing through files with this sore arm. Procrastinating is just making the anxiety worse.

I took a good amount of pain med. I better eat and start on the paperwork. Meanwhile I have to do his care. That's what is making a mess of my right upper arm. I better find a way to do less lifting, or I'm going to have a chronically damaged arm. I seem to have injury prone tendons.

[Yzen]

Not bad at the moment.

I hope things get better for everyone in this thread and lurking. You deserve some relief from the depression and anxiety.

[leomama]

I’m really struggling . My current job is temporary with no benefits and pays minimum wage but I like it. I interviewed with another job today which is permanent and pays a living wage but isn’t really what I want to be doing. I feel like *****. There’s nothing I can take to make myself feel better because the career path I’m currently on doesn’t permit cannabis use and I don’t drink alcohol. I already went for a hike today. I really need a friend to talk to.

Fed up with constantly feeling limited in my job and I just got a promotion for gods sake. I guess deep down I don’t view it as that even tho the work is better and is a step in the right direction. It is definitely a step up with promise of pay raise, however scanty. I do feel a little more secure in applying for better jobs and networking... I’m no longer as ashamed of my job and skill set. but i feel like an idiot. I have so much to learn. The war never ends.

Perhaps I’m just constantly hungry. And I look down at myself like a snob would look at me. Something in my psyche needs to break. I wish I could get out of my skull and just push everything on another level. I definitely think I grew but I also am still stuck. One day I will be famous for my work.

[giddykitty]

Another crappy day made crappier! All that made me happy was seeing "my kitties" but even that got tainted.

I messed up dinner (again) and hubby isn't too pleased. Says he keeps telling me not to let food sit in the fridge for days and to cook it right away. Well, excuse me, but we've been away for two days and I was sick of the food the day before that (like actually feeling nauseated to think about it). ugh! i'm always messing something up and i just feel like utter **** right now!

[Mountaindewed]

I’m not really sure if what I’ve felt today is depression. I know I’ve just felt really really weird. I have monster cramps right now and I should be getting my period so maybe I just had some bizarre PMS.

[leomama]

Lets all feel like s**t together

[3rd rock]

I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow morning. I have to decide whether to shave tonight or before I leave for the appointment tomorrow morning. I'll probably do it quickly tonight, so I have one less thing to do tomorrow morning.

[T4bbyCat]

Someone near me was killed by a falling tree. I saw a massive fallen tree branch where I usually walk.

[nikon]

Today has been so hard. I'm just hanging on by a thread, basically. Talking to my therapist was awkward. I just can't bring myself to say outright how bad I feel. It feels like there is so much pressure building up inside me, and I don't know what to do.

Yesterday was a mixed day emotionally. It was mostly good I would say. When I got home the laundry room was not being used and it went smoothly for the first time in a while. And then I got an unexpected check in the mail from the company I work for. It wasn't much - $5.73. Last week I got a check for 65 cents. A little bit helps.

What ruined the pretty good day was getting psychoanalysis from a couple of people about myself. Why do they have to do that? I rarely do that to other people. They say that they are trying to help. Funny how these people can't take criticizing for themselves.

[Breaking Dawn]

Life can be weird , but when I rethink the whole picture, so to speak, I end up concluding things could be a lot worse & I'm sure glad they aren't. Anyway, I'm getting set to do my exercise routine & I'm hoping to accomplish a couple of small goals today & crossing my fingers. Best of luck to all of you!!

I hate everything and everyone. Everything is dumb.

[Buffy01]

I feel really down today without any reason to feel down.

[3rd rock]

I'm terrified of returning to work next week, but I can't actually say that to anyone I know at work. I have to pretend I'm cool to work part time because I need the money to pay rent. I hope it'll go okay on Monday.

[giddykitty]

Today was a much better day than yesterday, moodwise and productive-wise. I realized that I spent 3.5hours straight of time on the internet in the mornings (well, specifically that amount this morning, but it's probably similar every day). Anyway, so I thought I'd try to balance that with the same amount of time offline. Got to 3hours. Pretty good. Today was also a pretty productive day, perhaps as a result of that time offline. I dunno. But I also just had stuff to do. I still didn't do everything I need to do on a daily basis, so a little disappointed by that, that I'm so tired even without even getting everything done...but I guess all I can do is keep trying and then explain my struggles or obstacles to my doctors.

Fyi, I started a journal in this Depression section of the forum "Giddy's Thoughts". If I don't update here, it probably means I've updated there. You can follow along if you're interested.

Hope everyone has a good night!

[strivingforhappy96]

I'm not doing too well.

It was very slow at work today and it was not a feel good kind of day. In the morning I was on the phone for quite a while asking questions about my appointment coming up on Thursday. Lots of "hold" time on the phone. I got confused and it took a while for things to make sense.

Also I got upset with the cleaning lady at work because I was having a good talk with someone and then she interrupted me with some minor detail. It wasn't just the interruption that got to me. It was the way she did it. She came on very bossy and I felt embarrassed. She doesn't speak English and it seems like she's not familiar on proper ways to act.

I worked out after work.

[Buffy01]

I feel really down today.

Very depressed and tired and angry. I’ll have to speak with management about something if I find myself limited.

[Rose76]

My caregiving efforts are causing me some major pains and aches. I'll take physical pain over depression any day. For some unknown reason, I haven't been depressed in a good little while. Maybe it's because I'm quite busy getting stuff done. And I do get the stuff done . . . and done to a pretty high standard.

But my right upper arm and left heel are killing me. At times my back is painful. The right arm really worries me. It hurts just to lift that arm. So the solution would be to use that arm a lot less. Figuring out how I'm going to arrange that is the dilemma.