Letting it all out.

Hi. I'm new here. I have suffered with depression for many years but have held it inside...I have decided to "let it all out"...it won't be easy as I have shown the world that "I"m all together". So, I will be pealing away the layers....hoping not to fall into the abyss in the process. Perhaps, I will start by saying that the holidays get me very down. I remember as a child being so "content"...not so much by the gifts...but by the "feeling"...that fleeting feeling of joy.....family, lights, the tree, and the christmas songs...family dinners...JOY. Well, what happened...about 18 years ago my mom became a Jehovah's Witness(I think in an attempt of getting out of the pressure of life and having a son...my brother...who is an alcoholic)....time passed...I "pretended" to be okay with the "No more christmas"...as Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate most holidays. I have two kids (10, 4 years old) so I do celebrate for them and with my husband(but he too is so depressed as his family is scattered in ARgentina, Germany, Brazil, and Venezuela)...so, let the pain come out. I hope through all of other's here experiences and advice to help heal myself.

Welcome Rosario .... many experienced people are on these forums... its run by a generous guy who really cares a lot as most of us here do...

some kind of magic process happens when helping others who have what you yourself have... it feels good to get it out and hear others stories...

we find we're not so different.. that is healing for me...

hope you stay awhile (((smiles)))

welcome to PC, I am glad that you found us here. You will soon realize you are not alone in your struggles. Looking forward to gettingt oknow you better.

Linda

Welcome to PC Rosario. I think you will find many understanding people on this forum who can share themselves with you too. I am sorry things are so hard right now and I hope that sharing helps you. Take care.

BB

Sorry you are struggling so much. I too have great difficulty with the holidays. I grew up in an abusive home and presently have no contact with family as a way of protecting myself. I am divorced, no family, and find that my friends are "good time" friends. I recently lost an excellent job with great pay (downsizing) and am having difficulty finding a comparable job. I live alone and with out working spend way to much time alone. I was always able to cope with my depression when I had work as an outlet. I just can't seem to find happiness in this world. I try to deal with things through exercise, but recently this doesn't seem to help. Without an income I cannot afford therapy. I've started using food to fill the hole within me and have recently gained a significant amount of weight, I need to get things turned around and am having difficulty. I hope by connecting with people in the same state of mind I can get insight and understanding to help me move forward.