[mrsmoggles]

I am still new at forum use and see all the support and try to give as I can, but I am still not very good. I feel as if I try and try and I can't get passed thinking I am not good enough. I hadnt for over a dozen yrs...now I am married to a wonderful man and I want to say i regret marrying him cause as I see it I have ruined his life. He has so much to give, he is so much better than anything I can ever be and I just see myself as a concrete block around his neck. I am sick. I am hurting. I am coning off meds and I am not that strong. I am an emotional dump swirling the dregs of the toilet. New year...hell, what about the next second???

melanie

[nowheretorun]

(((((mrsmoggles))))) dont worry... we want you to feel better and if youre down and cant support others right now, it doesnt help if you focus on your helplessness... think of the good things you're still able to do and build up from there

we understand...

[Perna]

Yes, don't compare yourself to others, even to your husband. My husband is wonderful too and I love that that is true and that I have that support from him! Don't worry about what you can or cannot give back right this second and let others worry about how they feel about you, that's not your job. Just work at feeling better and doing the best you can.

[whoever]

We are hard to live with, for sure, but apparantly your husband feels you're worth the extra effort. Depression kind of distorts your point of view towards the negative, so if he doesn't have a problem with depression, maybe his opinion of you is more realistic right now than your own? Please try not to drag yourself down farther feeling guilty about ruining his life, it may not be the life he expected, but you don't know what the future holds, or what he sees when he looks at you. It could well be a lot more positive than what you see in yourself. You could be what makes his life worth living, despite whatever problems you have.
You know, there are days when I can't even ask for help, let alone offer any. There are posts that I just can't relate to in any way. There are some where I can relate, but can't think of anything to say. Every so often though, someone says something that I have lived through and come out of in one piece with a little help to give someone else. There are so many different people, with so many different experiences on this forum that even where I'm no help to someone, there is sure to be someone who is, and the same applies to you. It isn't all one sided to accept support when you don't have much to give, because it also helps the person who is helping you, and as you grow you will have more to contribute. Hang in there, ok?

[SingDanceRunLife]

(((((((Mrs)))))))

I have no advice to give you, but I can tell you this: You're a wonderful person! I've talked to you a fair amount in chat, and I really enjoy it. You certainly have plenty to offer.

[mrsmoggles]

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

Thank You...I shouldn't post at nite when the pain is the worst. I tend to get apathetic and my depression spikes. I dont handle pain well I guess it is getting worse than better and I had better get used to it for a while....ugghhh

Laughing and helping and joking and playing around helps...I am glad moggles got me on here and to have y'all, it helps immensely!!!!!

Melanie

[altonwoodsdrphil]

mrs. moggles, Its really hard to know what to say to help someone who's feeiling as you are, I've been really depressed before so I can relate...it seems as though it just never ends! so, if like brings like, maybe what you need is a "victory" of some kind, no matter how small to build upon. I know that you are good at something, try to find a happy place to go where you are your own "best therapist" it works for me when I feel "pointless" give it a try, and pm me if you like!

[mrsmoggles]

Hmmm, good at something??? I am unsure as to how to approach that one. I am mostly depressed at this moment because of cold turkey coming off meds that helped my neuropathy and irregular sleep patterns. I am not doing much of anything. Housework is dropping off, I am unable to keep up a happy facade around people, hubby is starting to worry at how i keep moaning about my hands, I am not up to much of anything. I was making skull caps and beanie hats for our food pantry to hand out and for the meals on wheels to hand out to the elderly on their routes and for servicemen. I can't do it right now...it is...I just get blahhhhhh...I went for a small walk with moggles and that was nice. TY.. I just may pm you...just to get mind off things

(((((((MrsMoggles)))))))
You are a wonderful person! I can tell that you are gifted when it comes to interacting with other people just from talking to you in chat. You care about others as evidenced by you doing things for meals on wheels, by the fact that you are worried about helping others here, and that you are concerned for your husband. Shall I go on? These characteristics are NOT the mark of an unworthy person! I know that it takes time to build self esteem/self confidence and we are here to help you, to encourage you for each step in your journey. Take care of yourself