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  #951  
Old Dec 03, 2020, 05:51 PM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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I've been improving daily.

One thing today was hard. I listened to old, saved voice messages on my older, mobile, flip phone that I haven't disconnected. There was a saved message from my boyfriend that I was surprised to find. I re-saved it. Then I cried.
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  #952  
Old Dec 03, 2020, 07:01 PM
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I'm trying to decompress. I had a stressful day. I may go to bed early.
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‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #953  
Old Dec 04, 2020, 12:14 AM
Anonymous41141
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I've been feeling pretty down lately. There's been little things at work that has been getting on my nerves a lot with lots of complaining I have to deal with.

Just last night my friend and I agreed to split up. There are some regrets from the both of us on this. It's just that our phone conversations haven't been going well and not much of a chance for us to see each other. It's very hard for me to lose an only friend that I have here locally. And it's going to be very hard to replace him.
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  #954  
Old Dec 04, 2020, 12:43 AM
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I'm having a hard time sleeping. It probably didn't help that I had coffee before going to bed.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #955  
Old Dec 05, 2020, 12:39 AM
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I’m legit depressed but not sure exactly why.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka
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  #956  
Old Dec 05, 2020, 09:36 AM
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I wouldn’t call it depressed but I’m feeling like my life has no significance and I’m not contributing in any meaningful way. I’m just going through the motions.
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  #957  
Old Dec 05, 2020, 12:35 PM
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I'm feeling a little depressed at the moment. I just finished up a chore but I have one more to do. I really want to deal with it tomorrow. But my inner critic is beating me up cause I'm not taking care of it right now. So I feel sad. I need to tell my inner critic to 'bug off' and leave me alone.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #958  
Old Dec 05, 2020, 10:25 PM
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Just came out of my suicide mindset. It was pretty bad today. Going to live another day, but seriously considered. Good that I am alive still.
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  #959  
Old Dec 05, 2020, 10:33 PM
mugwort2 mugwort2 is offline
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Jennifer : Wish I could help you feel better.
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  #960  
Old Dec 05, 2020, 11:29 PM
Anonymous41141
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The usual day for me today. Later in the afternoon I felt very sad, like I always do. But this time it's different because my only friend that I have and I had split from each other. So that has added on to my grief a little bit. Also I've had a headache all day. I've had all-day headaches before.

This evening has been very weird. The Jacuzzi at where I live is closed because of COVID. It's a mandatory order. And then my fire alarm in my unit went off, but it was nothing. No smoke or anything. Feeling very bad now tonight.
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  #961  
Old Dec 06, 2020, 09:36 AM
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Flu-like symptoms, but unlike any in the past, with a strange painful throat and congestion. Been looking to get tested for COVID, but not everyone who wants a test can get a test... still.
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Thanks for this!
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  #962  
Old Dec 06, 2020, 09:45 AM
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Trying to get out of a big funk! Had a tooth extracted Monday which had an abscess and numbing did not work
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  #963  
Old Dec 06, 2020, 12:25 PM
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I got out of bed at 8AM this morning, which is a little bit later for me than usual. But that's OK. I didn't feel like getting out of bed because I felt so depressed. I felt like I had an emotional hangover. Last week was very weird and not so great.

As of now I've lost an only friend I had, though as of now I'm feeling guilty that I let him go, and thinking of going back with him. The last time we spoke, he said that he doesn't do anything all day and not much people contact. He's very old and can't see very well now. So I don't know. He hadn't been very nice to me the last couple of times we talked. Also the Jacuzzi at where I live is closed now, and that was another valuable tool to help me through life.

This coming Wednesday I will have a blood test to see how I stand with my health. I hope I won't have to be on medication again. It's been nice being off of it.
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Thanks for this!
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  #964  
Old Dec 06, 2020, 12:36 PM
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I feel Okay. I took care of my big chore. I have a new one that just came up. I'm too tired to deal with it. I may wait until tomorrow. I just want to rest today.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #965  
Old Dec 06, 2020, 11:16 PM
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I got a call from my sister today. It was later than I wanted it to be. It went alright but not real great. I spoke to her son today for the first time in over 14 years. He sounded so different.

Took a long bike ride today. And then I did some small shopping after that. I got in the Jacuzzi at where I live tonight. It's the last time for me to go in there for at least 3 weeks because of the order to close it due to COVID.

I'm still feeling bad about letting my friend go. I get urges to call him but I'm afraid to get into that cycle again. I miss him because he was all that I had. If I had others, I wouldn't have bothered with him. Plus he wouldn't need me if he wasn't in such bad shape. Though as of now, he's at least a little bit better off than I am socially.
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  #966  
Old Dec 07, 2020, 01:38 AM
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Going to become an aunt again to my first nephew. Had a most delicious meal prepared for me, socialized a bit, actually walked through the grocery store with a friend AND made it to the register with little conflict. Completely full after dinner with no need for dessert or late night snacks. Started painting today and am happy with the difficulty level of the project. Began pricing out next DIY project with support from my family. Lots of pets and praise for my elder pup. Might be loosing my third client this year RIP Max and Sparkles
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  #967  
Old Dec 07, 2020, 09:37 PM
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katberries katberries is offline
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I am feeling so isolated and upset.. the silence is deafening here at home. Feels like I can't reach out to anyone (although I tried) because they're sick of me.
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  #968  
Old Dec 07, 2020, 11:51 PM
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Today was a pretty down day emotionally. It seems like there's even less people at work today than in the recent past. The moods at work were very low.

I got a gift in the mail by my sister. She said that she was going to send me something. I was surprised that it came so quickly. She didn't mention sending to me yesterday.

Tonight I feel very down. The Jacuzzi at where I live is closed now and I really miss it. And I'm still feeling bad about my friend and I being apart now. Those were the two tools that got me though my depression and now they're gone.
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  #969  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 01:40 AM
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I feel tired and stressed.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #970  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 08:21 AM
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I have not been doing well lately, but this morning I am feeling so much better. I'm really glad about this.
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  #971  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I feel like the pain I am in from the shower I had this morning is going to last most (if not all) day

add that to the fact I am not doing anything reggardless, pretty low
I'm sorry that you are in pain. I hope the pain get better.
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  #972  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 01:59 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert View Post
I hope the endoscopy comes back clear of cancer but with something minor and resolvable that explains your symptoms!

I am struggling to function today. I don't feel well physically and am getting really stressed about not having worked for such a long time. What started as a short break has turned into a long one and it is hard to face reality.
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. I hope that everything goes well. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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  #973  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 02:00 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissUdy View Post
The usual talk I give myself isn’t working. I don’t know why I’m getting up every day, or going to work, or showering, or anything when there’s nothing to look forward to. Before I could tell myself the future will be different, I can go new places or figure things out. but I know it isn’t true anymore and nothing will ever be really ok again and neither will I.
I feel the same way myself.
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  #974  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 02:04 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
I have a hiatal hernia. a small one, but enough to cause pain. IT is caused by GERD, and stress. Boy, did I have a lot of stress lately. I finished the term with a B, and a C. And I wouldn't change those grades, I struggled through the term, and did not allow enough time for my studies. I wish I had taken only one course.

But that is in the past, TIme to move FORWARD!

I will be seeking confirmation that MBSR is the best thing for me right now. I will ask tomorrow, and I Need it. I ordered a meditation cushion and backpressure point thing. to help my back to heal.

I have been doing a lot lately and now I need to catch up. Tomorrow I am off, but I need 2.5 hours of training to do. I need to learn how to set realistic goals.

I feel like I need to sleep . Maybe I'll go to sleep early. I still have masks to make, but that can wait for the morning.
I suffer from back pain myself. So I understand how you feel. Take it easy on yourself.
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  #975  
Old Dec 08, 2020, 02:06 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by will19 View Post
I'm glad that Friday is over. This morning seemed to be weird as there were some confusion as to where and when to wear a mask at work. At where I work they just started to have guidelines about mask wearing. Also, I had kept the masks in a cabinet in the room I work in and it's with some reams of paper. The maintenance man had come in the room before I got there to get some masks. He noticed that some mice had gotten into the cabinet. They had chewed up some paper. I didn't notice that when I had put the masks in a couple of weeks ago.

It seems pretty noisy tonight at my place. I think there's one guy who is talking on a cell phone. He's pretty loud and I don't like him that much.
I completely understand how you feel about the confusion about the mask. Sorry to hear about the mices.
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