How it happens: piling up disappointments

... for me at least. I'm starting to find out patterns that bring me to a depressive episode. It is happening right now,, even if it may NOT strike hard, as I hope. Here's how it works:

I make good expectations about the future, then I get all disappointments, which generate anger. The repressed anger (and how could I discharge it?) generates frustration. Frustration brings despair, and it is done: I'm in the pit.

To control one's emotions seems impossible, so I think that the only possible approach is to actually ACHIEVE the expectations. To strive the hardest possible to snatch bits of gratification from our life. It is important to be aware that when you take time to have some fun, that is a kind of healing, or illness prevention. It is important as taking medications. Too often we forget to enjoy pleasures to study or work or perform other "important" duties. But they are not truly important, they're just URGENT.

So when depression gives you a truce, always remember to have some fun, to enjoy, to engage in meaningful (for you) and rewarding activities.

The best of luck

thanks for the kind, helpful advice stefano...

im just beginning to learn fun again... its helped me stay balanced when i work on the tougher issues... something to break awy to and let me take my mind off the serious stuff...

sounds simple, but it took 30 years for me to get here... dont worry, i dont think it takes everyone that long...

take care friend...

I look for ways to enjoy doing whatever it is I have to do, either fun things or work and study or chores. Just working at a job for the paycheck is dull and provides no protection against bad thoughts. But figuring out ways to enjoy or receive benefit from whatever it is one does, even repetitive or boring work helps keep me going.

A professional piano player has to practice a lot of scales before he gets good at playing real music but he looks forward to that music and knows the scales are helping him. First jobs or boring jobs still give experience at patience and helps foster the ability to do whatever needs doing, whether one likes it or not.

My therapist had me study and think about "disappointment" one week and it was surprising what I learned about myself. It's not so much the other people or things around me that disappoint me as much as my not being familiar with my expectations and where they come from. I was surprised that my biggest disappointment that week came from an expectation about someone else that was not even mine but something I'd learned and adopted from my stepmother without even knowing I had done for. It was totally unrealistic and not what I wanted! Once I identified it and what I actually wantedin that situation, I was not disappointed anymore.

i am trying to think n my spiral down into the murky depths of despair n depression i dont think has to do with dsappointment as much as regret...i regret things that have happened and made me this broken caricature of my former self and I don't know how to get out of the perpetual circle going around in my head. I look for little things to keep me going...like my orchid blooming, my bonsai is still green and growing, i washed a few dishes,heck, some days just getting out of bed and taking a shower seems like a HUGE accomplishment. But that is just me. lol and i am an odd one!! ~ melanie

(((((stefano,nowheretoturn,perna and mrsmogg))))).

after reading your posts i feel so incredibly lucky to be have found my way to this site.Actually being able to see how well you all understand the insidiousness of depression,it helps,It helps alot,

I have not as yet been able to recognise what may preceed my bouts of depression,but then again i havent ever thought of the possibility that there may be a trigger or at least a pattern of any kind.Im not sure if there is any one thing that I could identify ,Ive always felt that IT just happened without any cause or reason.I need to think about that now.

Thankyou all for being here and being so honest and upfront with your feelings,in a strange way it is comforting to know others experience the same feelings.It is also very good to see what helps others through the difficult times.