Upset, Angry, Mad, Frustrated --- Oh, Just Pick One

The easy answer would be a combo of an aggressive ECT treatment regime and a psych meds cocktail of last resort. There could have been other contributing factors I just don't actually know.

You have to understand, that I had "checked out" as a member of the human race. I have this vision of me sitting in the psych ward that plays over and over.

I see myself sitting there, tears streaming down my checks but no other signs of life. I just sit there, not moving, not talking, just sitting staring into nothingness. Then the techs come and lead me away. The vision ends in silence, complete silence.

The ECT treatments were particularly aggressive because I wasn't responding to treatment. When or at what point everything became nothing, I don't know.

(((((Froggy))))) I'm so sorry.

AAAAA, there is no need to feel sorry of me, but

Thank You.

Frustrating has got to be an under statement. Would being hypnotized help! Would you consider something like that!
Many people would love a brand new start, but not for the same reason you are in that situation. I would want to remember. Good luck to you! I would look up the hypnotism idea. I know that it has helped people remember things they have tried to block! Maybe it would work.