More rejection, more failure

Found out today that I am not being hired for the job I really wanted. Another interview tomorrow for the job I don't especially want.

I know the universe doesn't owe me zip, but I just wish one really neat thing would "happen." A break. I've lost so much in the past year -- my job, man I was with 15 years, home, dogs.

None of my friends or family has volunteered to let me live with them a while, and I don't know where I am going to go when I leave this apartment at the end of the month.

I do not qualify for social services -- I am probably making things sound worse than they are -- Financially, I could stay here, but I think that it's imprudent to do so.

I haven't found a room to rent.

I moved to New Orleans from Florida, and I don't even know why.

I am not suicidal, but I don't want any more of this life, if this is what there is.

I do kind of believe that the universe takes care of us... if you believe that is possible it is also possible that the job you don't think you want as much might lead you someplace better than you could have imagined.

I'm not sure if I believe the universe is "magical" that way or not but I do believe it can be that way if we perceive it to be that way. We just have to be open to let the magic in. Depression makes that nearly impossible to do.

But hang in there, I know things seem bad and you have a right to be stressed out and worried. But the fact that you are going to the interview tomorrow shows you have not given up and that is the best thing you can do for yourself.

The world is what we make of it...

{{{{{{wants2fly}}}}}}}

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

(((wants2fly))) you need some big hugs. I'm sorry things aren't working out for you like you'd hoped. Please hang in there. I know I hate hearing this phrase: "Things happen for a reason." Soooo I won't say it to you. But keep your chin up, hopefully things will get better and you will once again be happy. My AIM name is in my profile if you'd ever want to chat. I live in Bay Saint Louis, MS so I'm only an hour from you. Take care.

My <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.timelesscaptures.com/tulip> Blog </A> about depression.

Well -- there is one bright spot -- at least I won't have to live in stinky old
Austin, Texas.

Really, I was pleasantly surprised by Austin. Very progressive place. I saw three co-ops -- and there wasn't any where I lived in So. Fla. and I am unaware of any here in New Orleans. And the buses are gas-electric hybrids. Pretty neat, huh?

But Austin will never beat Nawlins for history and funk and all-around uniqueness.

Thanks for the support all. I love everyone I meet here so much. The collective love and wisdom and support sometimes brings tears to me eyes.

Blessings, blessings, blessings.

Oh, how can we all get well?

Wants2Fly,
I know how bad it can suck when it feels as though everything is going to hell. I also know how hard it can be to not give up, but you cannot. I strongly feel that everyone has a purpose for being in this world and everything happens for a reason. Even though some horrible things have happened to you....maybe they happend for a larger reason or a greater good? I do not know if that comforts you or not...but when I get upset it kinda helps me.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

((((((((((((Wants2Fly)))))))))))

I was notified this morning that I was not selected for the job that I really didn't want but thought I should take, because I've only had these 2 interviews since January -- and therefore, I should take any job, no matter what.

Mostly, I'm relieved that I don't have to make a choice about whether to accept or refuse an offer. Mixed in with fear about the future.

Working really hard today to get back on track, get up earlier, make to-do lists, frind a chepaer place to live. I have these spurts of self-discipline, then I fall apart.

I'd like to put this out here: Would anyone be interested in joining a regularly schedule chat to discuss a book that we will select for reading about how to recover from depression. My first choice would be a book called Psychological Self-Help, bec. it is available as a free download, for voluntary contribution, at mentalhelp.org

I know we would have to clear this with Dr. Grohol to do it here, but there are other free online chat services as well.

My background is as a college teacher. So I've moderated classroom discussion. And I've participated in online interviews and chats for a class that I took last summer. I really see it just as a way to regularly schedule a productive internet activity, learning about techniques that can help, and what has helped others, how they tweaked suggestions, what didn't work. How to keep going, even after we slide back.