Confessions of little turtle with love #6

Today, I have been advised, to get out of my own way?

I am not supposed to think....

So I have had a glass of wine.

Hmmm...?

I hope you thoroughly enjoyed the wine, dear Thirty shades.

I mistrust my own thinking.
But, I also mistrust the thinking of others.
Those who think the most of their own thinking are suspicious.

yes yes yes

I am not well, struggling with severe depression, tiredness, panic attacks and physical pain. I am drowsy the whole day, can't drag myself out of bed before the evening.
Little turtle and others, did you ever have to face these? If you did, how did you overcome them? If you could please please tell me a little about your struggles I may feel a little hopeful. You are survivors. At times I feel I can't go on any more. I feel terribly lonely and hopeless. My pdoc won't give me an AD. Currently im on amisulpride and xanax and thyronorm.
Much love to all on the AS IS bus.

Hello, MimiBhaduri!

severe depression: yes; no antidepressant medication has ever given me significant relief; in my case, a benzodiazepine medication (similar to your xanax) has been more helpful
tiredness: yes; in my case, tiredness seems to be "multifactorial" -- circadian rhythm disordering, medication side effects, an autoimmune disorder, etc. (It may be a rather good thing you are taking thyronorm.)
panic attacks: no, not really; I am, however, subject to "episodes" where anxiety plays a role
persistent drowsiness: not exactly; in my case I'd call it persistent but erratic drowsiness that interferes with normal daily activities
pain: no, not chronic physical pain

I did live a fairly functional life up until a point. Over time it became more and more difficult to do less and less.

You are taking thyronorm. Taking that medication may be an indication your depression does not exist in a medical vacuum; your situation is probably a product of both body and brain. Unfortunately, it is my experience that once a person has a mental health diagnosis, medical personnel (and family/friends) tend to read all symptoms in the singular light of such a diagnosis and ignore other possibilities.
Do you find you have more energy at night, or even after midnight? (No need to answer.)

Good post Much love to all on the AS IS BUS

Thank you for replying rohag.

You are taking thyronorm. Taking that medication may be an indication your depression does not exist in a medical vacuum; your situation is probably a product of both body and brain. Unfortunately, it is my experience that once a person has a mental health diagnosis, medical personnel (and family/friends) tend to read all symptoms in the singular light of such a diagnosis and ignore other possibilities.

I suffer from hypothyroidism, so i take thyronorm. What you say is very true. They incl the pdocs say that all my symptoms incl my chronic pain are bc of my psychosis.

Do you find you have more energy at night, or even after midnight? (No need to answer.)

More energy in the eve till about 12 midnight. I start feeling drowsy again after midnight if i don't drink coffee.

Thank you for your reply!
Questions to consider:
What time do you usually go to bed and naturally fall asleep?
Have you or your doctors or family tried to "force" you into a "normal" sleep-wake schedule?
Does straying from the schedule you now have adversely affect your psychosis? (If I stray from my schedule, I know from experience it adversely affects my anxiety.)

rohag you are super...what really helpful talk here...


mimi---what do you think about the MAD IN AMERICA website..

have you watched what dr dean ornish has to say about eating...

have you tried meditation and yoga...

are you familiar with lifestyle medicine....

MIMI ......there is also a MAD IN THE UK...

Thank you dear Rohag.

I very much enjoyed my wine.

I would love to be able to stop thinking but my sub conscious can be very chatty and negative. The wine helps me relax.

Maybe that person needs to be... What a dumb thing they said, and that is supposed to be ''helpful''... (re should get out of own way ...

We are not supposed to think?

I'm very happy you enjoyed your wine

Much love to you dear Thirty shades and to all on the AS IS bus

If we are to give up thinking,,,, Will be cease to exist?

Thank you for being here dear Fuzzybear

Thank you for being here to all those on the As Is bus.

[QUOTE=Rohag;7111225]Thank you for your reply!

Questions to consider:
What time do you usually go to bed and naturally fall asleep?
If I didn't drink coffee to stay up, I would have got out of bed after 4pm and gone back to bed by 10:30/11pm every day.

Have you or your doctors or family tried to "force" you into a "normal" sleep-wake schedule?
No. I myself tried it a few times. But even if I go to bed by 11pm, I can't get out of bed before 3:30/4pm the next day. So I decided to drink an extra cup of coffee and stay up till 2am and complete some of the chores that I have set myself to complete by the end of the day.

Does straying from the schedule you now have adversely affect your psychosis? (If I stray from my schedule, I know from experience it adversely affects my anxiety.)
No, but it makes me more depressed and frustrated as I am hardly able to complete any chore and keep sleeping theough the whole day.

Oh I didn't know little turtle.

[QUOTE=little turtle;7111247]rohag you are super...what really helpful talk here...

mimi---what do you think about the MAD IN AMERICA website..
little turtle, currently I am in bed most of the day sleeping. I am not able to read anything. However a long time back I did watch some of their videos on youtube and found them to be interesting.

have you watched what dr dean ornish has to say about eating...
No.

have you tried meditation and yoga...
Not atm.

are you familiar with lifestyle medicine....
No.

Guess: Your pdoc may be concerned amisulpride could interact negatively with antidepressant medications.

Oh does it? I didn't know.

MimiBhaduri0, I am only guessing based on the range of uses and cautions regarding amisulpride offered in the easily available drug literature. In theory, your pdoc should be weighing the benefits vs. risks associated with using any individual medication and even more closely assessing those benefits vs. risks when the patient is taking multiple medications. I suspect many pdocs would prioritize treating psychosis ahead of depression. Nevertheless, your pdoc has you on both amisulpride and xanax, which, again, may be an indication the pdoc is thinking about both psychosis and agitation.

Have you talked with your pdoc about your sleep/wake cycle, your "hypersomnolence"?

[QUOTE=Rohag;7111905]MimiBhaduri0, I am only guessing based on the range of uses and cautions regarding amisulpride offered in the easily available drug literature. In theory, your pdoc should be weighing the benefits vs. risks associated with using any individual medication and even more closely assessing those benefits vs. risks when the patient is taking multiple medications. I suspect many pdocs would prioritize treating psychosis ahead of depression. Nevertheless, your pdoc has you on both amisulpride and xanax, which, again, may be an indication the pdoc is thinking about both psychosis and agitation.
Well I was getting agitated and ending up doing deliberate self-harm. Last time I was on an AD, prozac, I ended up attempting suicide by med overdose, however I survived. So maybe you're right.

Have you talked with your pdoc about your sleep/wake cycle, your "hypersomnolence"?
Yes he says the meds will help eventually and that I can try drinking coffee but not more than 2 cups.

i am still not taking my psych meds....celexa and valium...
my new medicine is meditation...for the depression/anxiety/stress...
i am finding it very hard practicing--- paying attention to my breathing...
it is a work in progress

i am old and angry..........
underneath is a SADNESS....
with tears to be shed...

Thank you little turtle for speaking your truth with kindness and love.

I have not found a professional irl who has the ability or care to speak the truth with kindness or love so imho this makes them worse than useless, to me personally.......

Maybe some ''benefit'' from being told they are a ''failure'' and of no value I have not known any

In my long journey it's hard to never be ''bitter''
so many ''helpers'' are sicker mentally than some of those they ''help'' (in some location far far away)
but I am not a ''quitter''

(love to those professionals who do care, it's just that I am not a ''priority'' and they have told me that, probably for the best since I do not trust them at all)