I think I'm in over my head...

...I've posted before about one of my online friends on another site, who's been suffering from depression for most of his life...well, I couldn't get online for the past couple of days, and when I logged in today I had two messages from him - one saying "I may be ending my life soon...I'm tired", but the second one saying he'd had a change of heart, at least for now.

I'm scared. He lives in Australia, and I live in Scotland...does anyone here know of any resources in Australia that he could use? He's never mentioned having any friends in real life, and he doesn't have much family either. I don't know what to suggest.

Rio, always look after yourself first on mental health sites! As you see, you can't do a whole lot for your friend in Australia since you're in Scotland. But what your friend decides to do is his decision and not something you can "help" with. He does live there and can find out local resources! About the best you can do is to let him know you are there if he wants to talk about it and suggest he look up resources and let him know you'd really be sorry, unhappy, miss him, etc. if he were to suicide. You can only give him as sincere, consistent a part of yourself from online as you can and hope that makes a difference to him. We can't force other people to care, be happy, get help, etc. But we should always make sure we ourselves don't get overwhelmed by other people's problems because then we can't be at all helpful to them or ourselves!

I hope alexandra_k or anyone else in Australia reads this...

Thanks, Perna. (I'm not sure if it makes any difference, but it's not a mental health site we know each other from). You're right, there isn't much I can do...and I never know the right thing to say...it's so frustrating. Especially since I don't think he wants any help.

And judging by a message he sent me today, I think he may have attempted.

Thanks, pachyderm.

It has to be frustrating and painful for you not to know what's going on or how you can help from so far away. You are a good friend for trying though, for being there if he wants to talk, complain, etc.

Thanks. He has another friend on that site who I think is better at this than I am - she's older than me, for a start, and he also seems to open up to her more. Hopefully she knows about his situation, too - I don't want to go behind his back any more than I'm already doing here.

You are not behind his back, you're getting help and help for yourself and seeking ideas on how to help him. Behind his back implies you want to hurt him in some way or put one over one him or something.

Thanks, Perna, that's true. I sent her a PM, but the site isn't working properly at the moment so I'm not sure she got it.