The Big Head

This evening's session was challenging. I am in the midst of another medication change because the effexor raised my blood pressure. On top of that I have just found out that there are several nodules on my thyroid. I will not begin a new anti d until the thyroid stuff is figured out. I worry about my health because I am so frightened that I will not be able to care for my son. I came to therapy tonight needing comfort and understanding.

So, what does the Big Head do? I tell him about my health issues and he tells me about a book he got for Christmas and starts giving me a sermon about eating healthy, losing weight, good nutrition, and taking care of our bodies, etc. He asked if I believe there was a mind-body connection and I shot a rubber band across the room and called him Mr. Psychological Health.

As the session ended, I was in tears because I felt he had hogged my time and T said we have to stop repeating this pattern. I agree. I did not leave until we agreed to a time to continue the conversation. We spoke on the phone later and I was able to tell him the things about my son that were weighing heavy on my heart that he didn't give me time for in-session because he was too busy preaching.

Then I told him I did recognize our rupture pattern. When we have these ruptures I come away feeling like I tried to tell him something but he didn't hear me.
Yeah, these lifelong patterns are devastating........

Do you ever interrupt him when he's speaking, explain to him it's your session? You shouldn't have to fight to get to talk! I'd only pay him half or something, nevermind the rubber band.

I'm so sorry you left sad and unheard.

Hey.

I'm sorry your session didn't go well :-(

I wonder if you guys could figure out some kind of signal. A kind of a 'time out' for when you feel like he is talking at you and not listening to you. I had a therapist who tried to help me figure out a signal for when I was feeling emotionally distressed (because I wasn't so good at showing that sometimes) - and it helped. Maybe this could help you guys?

Hang in there.

Well,

That's kinda the whole thing Perna. I think I say something but in retrospect I 'm not sure I actually do. He even said I should have interrupted him rather than leave feeling badly. I don't think it's a question of fighting. It's a question of stating my needs, something I am not particularly good at or fond of doing.

Grrrrrrr

Thanks Perna.

wtf?? is there some kind of virus going around? i got a lecture on fruit.

sister, feel free to PM me about the thyroid stuff if you want. i had most of mine removed and i can share a lot of support and some info too. Don't be too afraid though ok? Trust me, as maddening as the apparent thyroid epidemic is to me, thyroid issues are rarely debilitating or life threatening. i don't want to hog your thread with my health issues but feel free to ask.

you are worried about your health yet aren't interested in eating healthy, exercising, being a healthy weight and just doing the basics to look after yourself? i don't get it

{{Sister}} SOunds like your T is wanting the symptons to be sorted before the issues are worked though. I am so lucky that my T doesn't give me directions and has the patience to know that as my issues (to which I have many LOL) are worked through, so the ways I have always dealt with them such as not eating healty will eventually resolve themselves, I've never known lectures to change a persons way of living, only understanding and compassion...

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smiley1984 said:
you are worried about your health yet aren't interested in eating healthy, exercising, being a healthy weight and just doing the basics to look after yourself? i don't get it

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I think it was more about the feeling surrounding the health issues, rather than getting a concrete lecture on health issues. I think Sister wanted to reach more of a core of feelings surrounding these issues, not discuss a food pyramid.

Alex,

Thanks. Yes within our relational pattern we are working on trying to figure out just when these feelings arise. A signal might not be a bad idea.

What if I brought a buzzer and as soon as T starts talking at me I ring it?

Okay, getting silly.

Peace

Smiley,

The post was about the relational patterns T and I engage in. I don't know how you thought that from my post.

Jello,

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i got a lecture on fruit.

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HAHAHA Want to borrow a rubber band?

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{{Sister}} 've never known lectures to change a persons way of living, only understanding and compassion...

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Yeah, me too!!!!

I think I'll borrow your quote.

Hey, they're being all of themselves instead of just the parts we want (where's Pink's blue undershorts picture?)

You know guys, the truth is, I was probably avoiding the conversation he was trying to lead me into. That is, one's relationship with one's body; illness vs. cutting? Personal image vs. others image?

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I was in tears because I felt he had hogged my time

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Yes, it does sound as if Big Head HOGGED your time. Did you ask Mr. Psychological Health if eating ham was okay once in awhile, LOL?

I'm sorry that you left with so much more to say. That's really stressfuly, I know. I'm glad you were able to call him to finish the session! Love you, Sis.

((( sister )))

that was health

I think his message of interconnectedness was good, but his timing was off.

HAHAHA

Nice HAm Joke Sol!!!!! I need a laugh.

OHHHHH No I didn't call him -- HE CALLED ME!!!!!