[Deilla]

I'm feeling sad this afternoon. Too many dead-end streets.

Not much of a day. I don't feel like doing much because it's very hot outside. The weather has been weird. It's like winter for many days and then we'd get a three-day hot spell. And then it's back to winter again.

Also it's been very noisy at my place. I first got woken up by my neighbors at 5:30 this morning. What woke me up was that they had slammed the metal screen door, which is very loud. And then there's road construction on the next street over. What's weird is that last year that street was being worked on from January to November. And recently, they tore up what was done and started all over again.

[T4bbyCat]

I was looking finally to buy a house, but then I checked prices in my area... and they're triple what they were a year ago. I'm no longer looking to buy a house! LOL!

Maybe I could've afforded the original pricing, but no longer. I don't know how young(er) people without inherited wealth or top-1% paying jobs are ever going to make it.

[Deilla]

I'm feeling discouraged. I was pretty anxious earlier, took some medicine, now I'm calm, but I am sad.

nights have become the bain of my life

I'm not sleeping, I'm not feeling refreshed, I'm not resting.

night, after night, after night, after night, after night.

I'm not actually sure what's more annoying- the fact I'm not resting/ sleeping, or the fact that when morning comes, I don't feel the urge too.

apart from that, feel like crap- but hey I deserve to

[Mountaindewed]

I got post op procedure depression almost instantly. I've been in bed since I got home. Our heat is broken and it was cold all night and morning. My mom turned it off and then back on this afternoon. So now its warm but I think its starting to go out again. We're getting a new unit tommorow.

I'm feeling pretty blue throughout the day. I don't have a good reason why I should feel that way but I do. It seems like this week I've encountered rude and mean people. Rude and mean people always ruin my day even if it's not a big deal. Also I'm still feeling very aimless and not accomplishing much in my life right now. And I had received an unexpected bill in mail today.

I went on a long bike ride this afternoon a came across a couple of nice guys just briefly.

[Mountaindewed]

My doctor (not a pdoc) wrote "withdrawn" on my chart. I think that was just from anxiety. But I do feel a bit of loss of interest in things and I'm not sure if its just straight up depression for no reason or if its depression about my health or depression about the war or a combination of everything. I know I miss being on my meds but I need to wait for a bit longer until I contact my other doctor. I don't know really to be honest what the cause of things is. I talk to my therapist about these things but then I spend half the session reassuring her I am fine in that way. I just wish I knew what I want.

[Rose76]

I feel okay mentally and physically. But my apartment is a mess. Yesterday, I stayed in bed till 4 p.m. reading and watching videos. I been doing that often. It's a bad way to be living.

[Mountaindewed]

My mom said I am doing nothing but sitting all day doing nothing but stareing and I need to get out and do stuff and go places. Or read a book or watch a movie or something. Theres only a few things I want that I can't get online and I am having no luck finding them. I don't eat much of anything anymore so I never feel like eating out. But tommrow I plan on going out and just making it work.

[regretful]

About two weeks ago I ran out of the low dose of lexapro that I was prescribed. I had no refills...So, like many who are afflicted with this, I simply stopped taking the meds. The main reason for this was the massive weight gain that resulted from 4 short months on the medication. Still doing well; working on some major life changes - the other reason that I stopped it is the blunted emotions that I had while on it. I realized that about a week after stopping I laughed - really laughed - for the first time in months. I'm hopeful - and, as always, I wish you all well in your fight against this invisible monster.

[Fuzzybear]

Too much grrrr today....

A down kind of day today. This morning was alright as I went shopping a little bit and then worked out later. The afternoon sucked. I got a rejection notice about receiving financial help. And then a friend of mine and I discussed about my life and where it's going. He gave me suggestions that were not helpful. And it rained this afternoon preventing me to go on a bike ride.

Yesterday my sister called and I picked up the phone to talk to her while my voicemail was going . I didn't want to talk to her but she sounded depressed. We talked for a bit but I felt sorry that I spent some time talking to her.

[T4bbyCat]

Wish I could wake up even once without a feeling of dread about what the day will bring. Feels like impending doom daily. If the past is any indication, chances are I won't see it coming, even if the bad things I expect seem too likely.

[Mountaindewed]

I was kind of down about my health but I talked about it in therapy and got some things off my chest. I was also kind of depressed about therapy in general but I seem to have move past that as well.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm doing whatever I can at the moment.

[hvert]

I was in a bad mood this morning and this afternoon. I was able to stop focusing on all the things I was unhappy about. I am not sure how. I was in the middle of writing an email with a string of complaints and rants and all of a sudden realized that it was not the kind of energy I wanted to spread around. Complaining is such a hard habit for me to break.

[Rose76]

Tired and lazy.

[T4bbyCat]

Feelings of impending doom... which are irrational only until the bad things come to pass. Wish I knew what and when.

no sleep, lots of pain, no plans and rain.
feel about 100

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm wishing you all good health, & me too.

[Yours_Truly]

I have to leave the house today. Oh, how I hate leaving the house these days-- past few years. I have therapy. It's not the being out so much as the preparation for leaving. I just loathe it. I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what others do about it. I don't know if I have diagnosable (that's not the proper word, but you know what I mean) Agoraphobia, but the effect on my life is essentially the same.

[Yours_Truly]

I'm asking myself, "Can I go to my appointment without showering today if I showered yesterday? If I brush my teeth and hair, change clothes, put D.O. on? Can I go without makeup and not feel like crap the whole time? I hate the way I look without makeup. Not that makeup helps as much now as it used to, but it is better than without. I wish I felt comfortable with the way I looked naturally.


I suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable about posting this and also very shallow.

[Yours_Truly]

Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety... why must you plague me so?!

[Yours_Truly]

I should probably also get gas. Yeah, I'm afraid of getting gas. I have my little note in my cell my therapist and I made for me that I reference and must go over beforehand. I go out so rarely now I rarely get gas.


I feel ridiculous.