My friend has gone away for a few days this week today. I will miss his phone calls to me each day; even though I'm not real crazy about him. Well, July is coming to a close pretty soon. I guess I'll be glad about it since this month hasn't been great for me. Here's why by each of the days that were not great:

4th - There was a luncheon at my place that I didn't go to because I didn't feel
like it. I stayed in my place and had no where to go. I had to put up with
the noise; and then the noise of the fireworks in the evening. I felt
depressed at night because I felt like I was missing out on excitement.

10th - I felt obligated to call my sister because it was her birthday. I had told
her earlier that I didn't want to talk to her anymore because she upsets
me a lot. Our talk went alright but I still was not crazy about it.

13th - I found out that the area where I was thinking of going to and relocate
had a major natural disaster. If my plans had gone the way I wanted it (I
was planning to move there last April) I would have been in the midst of
that disaster. It made me glad at one hand but shattered at another. My
sister called later and gloated all about it saying how God had intervened
in this. Maybe so, but it's still a shattered dream for me.

16th - There was a parade nearby that caused some disturbance for me.

19th - Went to the dentist for a check up and need work done later on.

25th - I was going to take my friend to his doctor and make $20 in the process. I
thought afterwards that my fee may have been too steep. He ended up
getting his next door neighbor to take him instead of me. But it turned
out to be OK because the friend had to go to the same office anyways.

26th - My friend left to go away for a few days.

29th - The dental appointment for work.

[Rose76]

In the hospital. Being here sucks. I'm still in ER because there's no beds upstairs. Eventually I'll get a bed in a hallway somewhere. If I just was in a decent room with a window and a decent chair to sit in.

This too shall pass.

[Buffy01]

Yesterday I was really struggling with feeling really down. On top of being chewed out by my brother which made me feel even worse.

[Rose76]

I'm in the hospital with a pretty dire medical issue. It's pretty weird. I keep needing blood transfusions - bags of red blood cells. I've had 4 in the past 9 days. I'm severely anemic, which makes me extremely weak. The doctors don't seem to know what to do with me or what's going to become of me. I have access to a lot of my medical record. A doctor wrote I'm at high risk to have a poor outcome.

I'm getting pretty seriously depressed.

[3rd rock]

I am making faster than expected progress in paying off debt. I may be out of debt completely earlier than my initial estimate of the end of 2023. If so, I can begin saving for retirement earlier. I am in my mid-30s and I'm hoping that saving for retirement now will wind up being enough, by the time I turn 65. Some people I've spoken to about the issue have scoffed at 30 years of savings being enough, but between savings (invested), as well as my union pension and my government social security, I'm hoping it'll be enough.

I've passed 90 submissions on my novel, and I've yet to get even a single request for the manuscript. I'll have to wait and keep trying. Many of those submissions came in quick succession recently, meaning not enough time has passed to receive a reply yet. So it's possible one of these 90 could wind up being the one. I doubt it, though. My plan is that if I can't get an agent by the end of the year, I will try submitting to small presses directly. Major publishers do not take submissions directly from authors, so that's not an option. I've changed the title in the hopes that the new one will be more catching. A title is important, I suppose.

[Rose76]

Too depressed to wash the dishes.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm very sad, too. I think it's mostly situational. Too many really difficult things to deal with.

[3rd rock]

I've decided to rewrite my novel to give it a happy-ish ending, where the characters end up together. I've made this decision based on advice, as well as 90+ submissions with not one request for the manuscript. I'm hoping this rewrite will make the novel more salable. I'm going to rewrite it, then compare the rewritten novel to the original, then decide which to press forward with submitting on.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I've decided to rewrite my novel to give it a happy-ish ending, where the characters end up together. I've made this decision based on advice, as well as 90+ submissions with not one request for the manuscript. I'm hoping this rewrite will make the novel more salable. I'm going to rewrite it, then compare the rewritten novel to the original, then decide which to press forward with submitting on.

@3rd rock, I love happy endings! Those books I read again & again. The ones with unhappy endings I can only read once.

[Deilla]

I'm struggling. I'm not very happy and I'm coping by drinking, which I'm sure is making my depression worse.

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm struggling. I'm not very happy and I'm coping by drinking, which I'm sure is making my depression worse.

Yes, that's familiar territory. Sadly (or maybe not so sadly), it doesn't always work for me, mainly when things seem especially bleak. I hope you find other solutions...

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm struggling. I'm not very happy and I'm coping by drinking, which I'm sure is making my depression worse.

It's ok, @Deilla! You have tried so hard & now you try chemistry. With all your talents & creativity, I'm pretty sure you will find the best way for you & your wonderful kitties. Hang in there, dear friend!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MimiBhaduri0

Are these videos available on youtube? Can you give me a few links? Thanks in advance.

Yes! all on YouTube. Look under Lisa A Romano, Teal Swan, Jerry Wise, Mark Smith, Stephanie Lynn. Just type in their name and what you're looking for. Such as Lisa A Romano abandonment, depression. I hope this helps you.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really depressed again lately.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

The apartment manager is coming in to do smoke alarm inspections later this week. So I have to tidy up a bit.

I'm very depressed over my inability to get my novel published.

Im very sorry. Sometimes it takes a long time in the slush pile. Keep at it. Might become a best seller.

[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I'm very sad, too. I think it's mostly situational. Too many really difficult things to deal with.

Same with me. I feel hopeless and helpless. I pray to God whenever I feel I can't go on any more.

I felt pretty good this morning because I was cleaning and listening to nice music while cleaning. Felt let down after it's over and done with.

Yesterday I had some disappointments. I went grocery shopping in the early morning and the store did not have four items I wanted; so I ended up having to get other items to take its place and the substitutes are not as good as what I wanted. And then I gave my friend a call because I needed comfort (I'll get into the part about the comfort in the next paragraph). We couldn't talk to each other because his phone kept on dying out on him. This happened with him a couple of months ago twice when we talked and it's still a problem. It seemed like he had not put in any effort to fix that problem when it's been going on for two months.

The comfort part is about me needing comfort because, last Wednesday, my sister and I got into a fight over the phone. She insisted on talking about an issue that she has mentions quite a few times with me and I never wanted to talk about it. I've told her, over and over again, that I never wanted to talk about that issue and she still brings it up. So I told her not to call me anymore. Quite a few times, with her calls to me, she upsets me like nobody else does.

I worked out this morning and felt pretty good until the tail end of the exercising. I felt like I had a little anxiety attack at that time. I had leftovers for lunch after working out and didn't have an appetite like usual. I got thinking bad thoughts - about something terrible is going to happen to me that will be unbearable.

After I ate, I felt better even though I didn't take in as much. I felt better and then an hour later, got the news that Olivia Newton-John passed away. I couldn't believe it! She had quite a battle with breast cancer and it seemed like she's gone too soon. Plus she appeared to me as someone who would take good care of herself. She didn't deserve of what she had to go through! She's not much older than me. I loved a lot of her songs.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by will19

I worked out this morning and felt pretty good until the tail end of the exercising. I felt like I had a little anxiety attack at that time. I had leftovers for lunch after working out and didn't have an appetite like usual. I got thinking bad thoughts - about something terrible is going to happen to me that will be unbearable.

After I ate, I felt better even though I didn't take in as much. I felt better and then an hour later, got the news that Olivia Newton-John passed away. I couldn't believe it! She had quite a battle with breast cancer and it seemed like she's gone too soon. Plus she appeared to me as someone who would take good care of herself. She didn't deserve of what she had to go through! She's not much older than me. I loved a lot of her songs.

I thought she was going to outsmart the C again. She had the most beautiful attitude, spiritual, super healthy diet, such a beautiful person. And her beautiful music she leaves behind for others to enjoy for many years to come. This is so sad.

[Breaking Dawn]

See our new thread #31.

[Rose76]

Just a quick note to say I'm doing so much better. I'm not depressed. Physically, I'm functioning almost normally thanks to 3 bags of blood I got the last week of August and 3 bags of intravenous iron. With the help of someone I hired, we got my apartment cleaned up and decluttered. Just had the carpet cleaning guy here. The awful heat has subsided. I feel like a new person. No more morbid thoughts.

[FooZe]

Oops! Looks like we moved on to Daily check in thread: Ups & Downs #31, then to Daily check in thread: Ups & Downs #32 -- but skipped closing this thread till just now.