[jackal]

im glad i found this website, it eases my worries and anxiety a little bit. im in the military and been experiencing on and off depression. sometimes it last for a week but more often, i suffer for a month or so. everytime im depressed, i feel like im alone by myself and nobody cares for me. that's why sometimes i dont want to get attached or be friendly to anybody because when they leave me, i ended up experiencing a crash in my emotional state.
last month i went on leave of absense. went home and reunited with my family. i never realize how i miss them so much now that im back to work. i often cry and want to go home and quit my job but im stuck to my job for another year. everytime i see a picture of them, memories and events from my last visit will just flood my memory then i will feel lonely and sad all throughout the day.
i cant concentrate with my work, i cant sleep at night. im afraid to talk to a doctor because i dont want to be labeled as crazy. i don't know what to do anymore. i just cry and cry just to calm me down. please help me.

[Cthomas]

Hi and welcome to pc!

Sorry you are feeling so down, but thats to be expected in your job. I know it must be hard to be away from home, but youll be back there in no time. in the meantime, sit and chat with us online ok?

Hoping you are doing better soon......pm me if you want to chat.

Colleen

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC. I am glad you found us as you won't be alone now. I am sorry you find yourself in such a hard situation so far from home and unable to visit whenever you would like. I hope finding us helps alleviate some of your distress.

BB

[jackal]

thanks for all the encouragement! its really hard for me to overcome all the stress from work and being away with family. but people like you makes me feel im not alone! im taking every effort to keep my sanity and im all ears to all advices, one day at a time!

[Mayam]

Hi jbal,

I'm glad you found this place too and I'm glad it is easing you some. It has done the same for me. I know how you feel about not wanting to get attached, it's something I am dealing with right now myself. It sucks that we are just kind of expecting to be let down. The more times we are the more times it's reinforced too.

My oldest brother was in the military. A nuke officer, bubble head . He has expressed to me the same feelings as you in the past. He eventually had to leave early and give up on that career after his first daughter was born with Down's and Autism. His wife was really depressed and he just couldn't be away that long anymore.

I understand your reluctance to talk to a doctor as well. I'm also struggling with that but am pretty well decided to go through with it now (though it's back and forth in my mind day to day still I admit). I don't think your problems are very unusual to military personnel though. I wouldn't be surprised that if you talked to a doctor they wouldn't have seen many military that didn't struggle with what you do. It's nothing to be ashamed of, just something to be dealt with.

Are you stationed over seas? Whether or not I know people in the military keep wierd hours sometimes. I'm an insomniac chef as chance would have it so I keep some crazy hours myself. Anytime you feel the need to chat, if I'm around please feel free to PM me.

[mrsmoggles]

I am sorry you are suffering from depression and feel all alone...I know the feelings of the spiraling darkness that seems to choke our breath and threatens to kill our very soul! I also know the pain and stigma that comes from it. I think, in your case, help and a dr and maybe meds would far outweigh the negative...do it before it is too late...now that you found us, we're a new family thats here for you. Never hesitate to pm if you need to talk and there will always be a reply. melanie