[Breaking Dawn]

Filled with apprehension & sadness but hope still is there, very much so.

Feeling depressed. Nothing much going on today. My car is going to be tied up for a while, so I'm going to be without a car for a bit. I guess I can live with it since I don't use the car that much anyways but I miss it. Here it is at mid to late March and we're still getting lots of rain and being cold. That's unusual for the area where I am. Also the friend, whom I let go, is sending me messages.

[Rose76]

I've been doing so much better. My apartment finally looks neat and clean. I'm actually enjoying getting my household chores done. No anxiety. Not depressed. This is hugely better than how I was back in Feb.

[Deilla]

I'm very sad and lonely.

[harborcoat]

I've been all over the place today, as I am most days lately. I'm filled with anxiety, self-doubt, irritability, and overwhelming sadness. I hide it for a few hours at a time, and I joke around and act like nothing is wrong at work, but the mornings and evenings are hard. Sometimes I'm even genuinely not sad for a half hour or so. But today was tough. It was a worse day than yesterday.

When I woke up I didn't feel like getting out of bed. It's very stormy outside, lots of rain and wind. That's unusual for where I live at this time of year. I know we need the rain but this is getting ridiculous. It's been cold for the last four months and a lot more rain than usual.

It's going to be a while when I get my car back. I wished that car didn't break down. It's been like living in a bad dream and it looks like there's no end in sight.
Besides having depression I have anxiety, worrying about how the car is going to work out.

[Buffy01]

I’ve been thinking about the name calling I received on YouTube where I was cyber- bullied and cyber stalk that is still bothering me

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm very sad and lonely.

I’m sorry :hug I understand

This day is just beginning and I hope it will be a good one. Lately I feel like I'm experiencing "out of order-itis". My car broke down and it's in the shop still. I'm having anxiety about it. And, early this morning, I put money into one of the dryers at where I live and nothing happened. At least there was another dryer to use.

It seems like it's been a crazy year so far. So much has gone wrong. I experience depression and anxiety anyways, but it seems like things have gone wrong than ever before. It's not a nice feeling at all.

[SlumberKitty]

Definitely dealing with the depression today. I am trying to distract myself. I am at work so you would think this would not be difficult. But it is.

[Rose76]

I'm still rolling along on an upswing. This is great while it lasts. I'm still spending too much time on the Internet. I should figure out a goal for the day.

[3rd rock]

I'm brainstorming for my current project. I have 50% of the story's premise currently resolved. I hope to have the other 50% resolved by the time my vacation begins at the end of next week.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm brainstorming for my current project. I have 50% of the story's premise currently resolved. I hope to have the other 50% resolved by the time my vacation begins at the end of next week.

Hey! I'm a writer too - good luck with the premise for your project.


I have sold short stories and currently working on a novel.

[Buffy01]

my niece has been verbally abusive towards me and her brother which is always causing me to feel depressed all the time

I'm just muddling along. My car is still away from me. I've gotten by OK without it. The biggest upset about it is getting groceries online and occasionally going to convenience stores nearby which is costing me more than they way I shopped before. Plus I miss going to a particular grocery store and that store does not do deliveries. The quality of food is not as good as before. Pretty soon the car should be ready to go.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by will19

I'm just muddling along. My car is still away from me. I've gotten by OK without it. The biggest upset about it is getting groceries online and occasionally going to convenience stores nearby which is costing me more than they way I shopped before. Plus I miss going to a particular grocery store and that store does not do deliveries. The quality of food is not as good as before. Pretty soon the car should be ready to go.

I have lived without a car for many years but recently moved out of the big city so it's a bigger deal. I do intend to get a car soon - one reason being cheaper grocery bills and no delivery fees. Yes, a car is expensive but it really will save us on certain things. I hope to get an electric or hybrid vehicle to mitigate fuel costs, but if we can't afford that we'll get a small, fuel-efficient car.

The morning was busy for me. My sister called this morning. I later called the garage where my car is now and they said it will be ready next week. I hope so. I'm afraid it will either take longer, more work needs to be done, or both. I don't feel good about that service place but it wasn't my choice with what had happened. At times I feel like I will never see my car ever again.

Earlier this year, that's what happened to my landline phones. To my surprise, my phone service just got shut off from the company without notice or warning. I got disgusted that I cancelled the phone part of the phone and internet bundle. And then I threw the old phones away since I purchased a new cell phone. I had those phones for a lot of years. However, it turned out to be a "blessing in disguise" as it worked out better for me.

[Rose76]

I awoke at a decent hour this morning, but I kept going back to bed. All day. I just kept going to lie back down, and I kept falling back asleep. Until 5 pm. Now I'm finally really up. I didn't feel depressed. Not despondent. Happy that my apartment is cleaned up. But I keep feeling like I need to go rest.

I don't know if this is sheer laziness, which I strongly suspect. Or I'm so physically out of shape that staying vertical is just too much of a challenge.

[SlumberKitty]

Depression is a little better.

I didn't do much today. I rained for most of the day and cold. Felt very depressed.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling down today after being yelled at by my brother :hug which is causing me to feel de.

[hiddenaway]

I’ve been better. I’m tired of being sad so much of the time.

I’m also tired of feeling like I shouldn’t cry - but that’s also entirely my fault because I somehow convinced myself that crying makes you weak and I don’t know how to undo that.

Pretty much the only thing that takes my mind off my troubles is Drew at this point.

I didn't sleep well last night. Before going to bed I called my friend. He sounded depressed. I did my laundry early this morning and that went well. Later in the morning I put in for an online order for groceries. Two weeks ago I did that with one company and it didn't go well. Last week I switched to another one that's more costly and it went well. I went with that same company today and it didn't go well, like two weeks ago. That had me depressed.

As of now I'm going through a grief stage because of my car being gone. I miss it a whole lot. I called and was told it should be ready by a week from tomorrow. We'll see. I didn't think things could get this bad. This is the worst period I've had in a good while.

[3rd rock]

There was a minor incident at work last night in which I accidentally struck a part of the racks with part of my machine, causing no damage to my machine but a small indentation in the rack at the point of impact. I reported it honestly to my supervisor and fully admitted fault, then followed his instructions in moving product to ensure the racks were not in use until inspected formally and repaired if necessary. However, the incident caused me to experience significant anxiety, which resulted in my being unable to sleep and having to call in sick to work tonight due to a lack of sleep. I'm worried what HR might do once the incident is reported to them. It was a minor incident, and I have no history of safety violations, and I fully abided by all company policy in reporting and cooperating. But you never know with the person who will be responsible for assessing the case. I may be looking at a written warning, or possibly worse. And that has me worrying. When I worry, I often go into a spiral of depression from the catastrophizing of it.

I have the first three days off next week. Then there's Thursday, which is the day off we get for the stat since we don't normally work Fridays. So I have all week off next week. I haven't seen the schedule to confirm it, all I have is the form I put in for the time off and received back with 'APPROVED' stamped on it. I know I shouldn't be worrying, and maybe it's just a byproduct of worrying about the incident, but I can't help but worry about whether I really have the time off or not because I haven't seen the schedule. I know it's absolutely stupid, but I just can't help it.

What I'll do is on Monday I'll text a guy at work and ask him to send me a copy of the night's schedule. That should allay my fears.

[Rose76]

I felt good all day.