[HurtinginOhio]

Have spent the last several hours searching the internet for some advice. I was diagnosed in Oct with severe depression, after trying to end my life. I took 45 days off work and really concentrated on getting my life in order again. I was feeling fine and returned to work in dec, recently the stress level at work has gotten very high and last week came to a head, as i just turned off my phone went into my shell, and have had some serious thoughts since. I have not left my house in 3 days. All my family lives 2 hours away. I am still taking meds, but not helping. I have considered going to the hospital, but am teriffied at the response from people there, was supposed to meet my therapist today but did not, she gave me her cell in case of emergency, i cant find it. I just feel like with the pressure of work, the fact that i have no interest again in getting out of bed, and that i have had these thoughts about ending it all, i need to know what should i do, any advice?

[ifonly]

Hi there,

I can relate to that feeling of not wanting to get out of bed or leave home... or deal with any kind of responsibility whatsoever. Do you suffer from anxiety as well? I had to take two months off this past year due to both depression and anxiety. I opened up a short-term disability claim both in June and then again in October. It was a relief to know that this was an option when needed... the pay was only 60% of what I usually make but it gave me time to decompress a bit.

If you are feeling like you might take steps to injure yourself... by all means go the the hospital. You don't need to feel uncomfortable. All you need to say is that you deal with depression, that you have been very down and you just need to be around caring people for the time-being.

I know that we all care about you as I'm sure those do that are in your life, be it family or friends... you are being watched over and there is someone that will make sure you are alright. You just take care of yourself for the time-being... God bless and you'll be in my prayers, friend.

[nowheretorun]

see the therapist... talk to someone.... help is available... force yourself if necessary... dont let the darkness become your companion..

thats the great thing about PC.... you're not alone.. people are out here and care...

you can stop in any time you need a friend and an ear... but, we all need more than that at times... an anchor of some sort...

take deep breathes, look outside at the beauty, look inside.. its inside which was able to see that which is outside.... care for both....

best of luck... stop by as as often as needed : )

[puckyjan56]

<font color="brown"> </font> <font color="brown"> </font> to hurting in ohio. i am so sorry you are feeling so depressed. i know where you are coming from. just try to hang in there and please call your therapist. if your meds aren't working please keep trying new ones. i will support you and glad you are here. aren't you glad you kept searching for us. everyone here is very nice and really cares about you. don't give up, ok? puckyjan56

[HurtinginOhio]

i have read horror stories on the internet how folks are treated upon arriving at the hospital and am afraid this would make everything worse for me. I am searching for my therapist cell number still, i feel really bad though like i let her down by not showing up today. I just feel really alone, really scared. none of my family even knows about my depression, or the work i took off. I feel like i am living a lie every moment and there is no way out. I just wish the pain would stop, i am tired of hurting all the time. Why, if the is a god, would he let this happen to me? why do i deserve this? i have been through so much in my life, and now it is just overwhelming. Thanks for all your well wishes, i just hope i can make it through this.

[BrnEyedGrl]

I understand your depression as well.
I agree with the others here, call the therapist in the am, or go to the hospital if you need to....many others have done it as well. you have nothing to be ashamed of at all!!!
can any family come and stay with you for a few days? or you go see them when you have a day or two over the weekend. I know when I am at my worst I don't come out of the house for weeks, but when I let my family visit me, it makes all the difference. Im pretty bad right now too....but I can remember a time when I made a schedule for myself and stuck to it, even if I didn't want to. I would make sure to have someone over for dinner every week and go visit someone close to me on the weekend. That way I never felt like I had been alone for too long.
Just remember we are here for you....

[bipolar_bear]

I am glad you found us. Please do what it takes to keep you safe. Does your therapist have an emergency number on her office message? Call that if you can't find the cell phone. I hope you start to feel better soon.

BB

[cajun]

I have been right where you are, my friend. I also have severe depression that is largely caused by stress at work for 17 years. Actually, I went a step further than you. I walked in one Monday morning, cut up my company credit cards, handed in my keys and quit. I just had enough. My job was not in any danger but the hours and expectations due to downsizing/layoffs were just rediculous. Also, I was being asked to run my store as well as another store that was 85 miles away. No compensation for the extra store, just "be happy you have a job". Of course the cutbacks and layoffs didn't effect the CEOs 7 million dollar bonus. I'm doing much better now. It took me a couple of years. I had to find the right meds for me and change careers but I finally got back to normal. Good Luck, cajun

[Doh2007]

Have you tried your therapist's office number? You should be able to leave a message that you're having an emergency and get a call back that way.

[HurtinginOhio]

WANT TO THANK EVERYONE HERE FOR THEIR ENCOURAGEMENTS AND THOUGHTS, I AM HAPPY TO REPORT THAT I SPENT FOUR DAYS IN A GREAT FACILITY WITH A GREAT STAFF THAT REALLY CARED. I AM DOING MUCH BETTER AND AM NOW TAKING PART IN AN OUTPATIENT PROGRAM FOR THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS, THANKS AGAIN!!!

[splitimage]

I'm really glad that you got the help that you needed.

splitmage