Trigger warning - when literature thought exercises don't offer much hope

I read the original Frankenstein.
It was not what I expected based on stereotypes.
The monster isn't created in an electrical storm and it does not have villagers chasing after it with pitchforks.

It instead is a sensitive conscious being needing the same love and companionship we all do.

It is too unnatural and revolting for people to endure looking upon and even Frankenstein, it's creator wants nothing to do with it. The pains of that isolation are so great that the monster considers being left to live to be the greatest suffering.

He has a point where he watches a family in secret and learns language. He helps them secretly and yearns for their company and comradery but is ultimately rejected when he reveals himself.

The creature does kill and take revenge out on his creator who abandoned him, making sure there is shared misery.

I don't have any feelings of anger or revenge, but it has been a pretty lonely world for me. The person I married avoids physical closeness so much, I gave up in trying. Throughout a lot of my life I have felt like people endured my presence and didn't want to get too close.

The creature, once his creator has passed away, plans to set off to find his own end away from people and without causing more harm.

Watching the thought exercise play out of what sort of torture isolation from basic companionship is, it opens up a lot of pain I have tried to suppress.

I do have memories of some friendships that have mostly faded at this point. I have memories of relationships where someone wanted to be with me. I am not at the extreme of the monster, but it is so hard to see hope in my situation without very drastic life changes.

The despair that has clung to me and seeped into my being has robbed me of the energy to do much beyond the absolute necessary in front of me.

HI @TearsAtMidnight - I am sorry you feel such great despair. Having myself lived through many dark periods in my life, I hope you will be patient and endure even though it may be painful. Life keeps changing as long as we are willing to change.

I never knew the story of Frankenstein. Thank you for sharing it.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

It’s a great book, but very dark. I was surprised by it when I first read it too. It’s been a while since I read it. I think Kenneth Branagh’s film version was close to the story of the book, but it has been a while since I watched that too.

I know how it feels when depression robs you of the ability to do more than just the basic functions of life. I wish I could offer some sensible advice. All I can say is keep going and don’t give up. Reading is a positive thing though - I’m glad you discovered a classic in Shelley’s book.

If you like that genre, and haven’t already read it, then Bram Stoker’s Dracula is worth a read. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and a lot of the narrative is in the form of exchanges of letters between the principle characters, but it’s a very powerful and evocative story. The chapter on board the ship “The Demeter” spooked me out.

Thank you for the book suggestion @NovaBlaze. Some books like those really hold true through the ages to being good stories and literature.
I am too deep within my depression and despair to find any consolation in a fluffy light story where there is a happy ending.
It does no good for me to imagine joy where it is not possible.

I have given up hope on much joy and comfort within my life. That was not for me.
Much of life is pain and it is a gamble that every life form gets when they emerge and not everyone gets dealt a good hand.
I accept that and I stick around to take care of my kid. That is what not giving up looks like for me.

Unlike Frankenstein did in the story, I do take the responsibility of life (both to kids and pets that rely on me) very seriously.
I feel the creation / monster would have had the nobility and heart to do the same and spend years suffering agonizing despair to meet such an obligation.