Deadline Wednesday

This Wednesday (August 25) is the deadline on the foreclosure of my house.

It is likely that we will be able to extend that and get more time, another 30 to 60 days. But in the event that we can not, I will be out of contact for awhile. I won't have access to my email and I don't know where I am going to end up.

If I "disappear" this week you know it is only because I lost access to the net, so not to worry.



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--http://www.idexter.com

Worrying is one of my specialities Dex, but I will keep all my paws and legs crossed for you ((((((((((((((((((((Dex))))))))))))))))))))

((Dexter)); going to worry no matter what u say. lol. Good luck, I hope you can get an extension. Let us know and if u are not on for a while; thinking of you very much. Is there a library around that u could get access to a computer? I know the library here has tons of them available to the public. Just a thought.

justy

You can still file a bankruptcy petition before wednesday and get the benefit of the 'automatic stay' (which stops all actions against you). Then you can arrange to repay the arrearages thru a plan (if you file a chapter 13 petition - kits are available at office depot, etc.) over a period of 3 to 5 years.

To file a chapter 13, you do need to have some kind of income stream, but it can be social security or whatever.

I sent a pm to you about this a while back; this is generic info., (not mean't to be legal advice), since I don't really know your specific financial circumstances.

Keeping you in my thoughts!

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

Hi Dexter -- I am so sorry you are going through this.

I had to sell my house this spring -- March 22 -- bec. man who left me insisted. Have not had much stability since then. I've used libraries. Also, if you have a laptop with wifi, you can get an account that will boot up in many Starbucks and some other places, too. A bit pricey, but you can get an unlimited monthly or pay by hour account.

I hope that things work out for you. I will miss you here.

I've been over the bankruptcy options with my lawyer and my situation is right between the two options, ch13 and whatever other that people usually do, ch11 or ch7 I forgot..

He has a couple other things we can try if he can get the extension by Wednesday.

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--http://www.idexter.com

>>if you have a laptop with wifi, you can get an account that will boot up in many Starbucks and some other places, too.

I have a desktop, with NoFi

>>A bit pricey

I've still got no income coming in so I'm worried about adding new expenses. My hosting service is pretty cheap and I paid them a few months ahead when my credit card conked out on them, so my website should be up for a while.

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--http://www.idexter.com

(((((((((dex)))))))))))))) good luck. Maybe a library has internet? Will miss you.

((((((((((((((( dexter )))))))))))))))))))
Wish there was something I could say to bring you comfort.

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

((((((((Dexter)))))))

I had no idea this was coming on so soon (foreclosure) I know it has been an issue for some time now, I am so lost for words..

I guess I just wanted to believe they would never really do it, in my disturbed mind of denial. I will worry and can in no way relate to what you are going through other than if I were to be evicted from my apartment, which is one of my biggest fears.

I will send all of the positive energy I have to the extention people, and really hope that they will grant you your extention.

The worst now is I feel so helpless in all this as I know there is nothing I can do to change this. Please know though if I could, I would not think twice about helping you all I could.

Your In My Thoughts- Chris

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~KRIS~

(if I didn't help, please know I do honestly have good intentions & speak through personal experiences)

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

I'm just going nuts tonight. Saw the lawyer today, have a bunch of phonecalls to make tomorrow to try to work something out...

But my mind is racing again and I've been working with great success with my T to not only help with the anxiety and the mind racing... but a lot of times when my mind is going I am anazlying things... possible outcomes, what I'll do in the event of each, will I look stupid, what do other people do in a situation like this. I have realized that this analyzing really holds me back. Like at the dance club I couldn't dance my first several times there. Now I haven't danced in awhile but I know I'm a good dancer, so I had confidence there. There are TONS of people on the dancefloor by themselves... it's not all "couples" and lots of people dancing in groups. And so dark there and so crowded that no one would notice me.

And yet... I sit there starting at the dance floor trying to observe people. Those two dancing, did they just meet on the dancefloor or did they come together? One was on the dancefloor alone first, but they could have come together and one was in the bathroom while the other started dancing. So I have to watch and see when if they separate, keep dancing together, or leave the dancefloor together. Then again, maybe they met on the dancefloor and decided to "hook up" there so that's not a reliable indicator. So now I have to start watching people BEFORE they're on the dancefloor, see if I can figure out who came together, which are already friends, who just met there... And then watch people dancing alone... were they with someone and just "wandered off" or maybe they are with someone and just are dancing with their back to them right now so I have to watch. At the edges of the dancefloor sometimes someone dances while their friends are at the bar, just a step away, and they are sort of half on the dance floor and half at the bar with their friends. Can I establish that there are people who are there alone, who come alone, and just dance alone? And then there are people dancing up on the stage and the speaker systems... some of them are clearly there to try to pick someone up. I'm not there for that, although I wouldn't mind meeting people. If I dance alone will people assume I want to be picked up? Will I get in trouble that way?

Now I answer these questions in 30 seconds. CLEARLY there are no "rules" here there are just people having fun... different levels of fun so-to-speak. But I get hung up staring and analyzing.

And then I want to try but I can't get myself started. So I force myself to stop analyzing things. Stop analyzing if I will look like a fool, because I shouldn't care if I look like a fool! Not everyone out there is Fred Astair. So I get up the nerve, but then I can't start because I've been standing there for so long, and I'm afraid that people have been watching me stand there (which is OK, a lot of people just stand around and watch, with friends or alone) but I feel self conscious about standing there for so long and then moving, and people will think I've been standing there trying to work up the courage to start dancing (because I am the center of the world, and everyone there is watching ME and taking notes...) so now that I have the confidence instead of going right out, I leave the area and walk around to the other side of the dance floor so that I can just start dancing without all of that baggage. But of course when I get there the confidence drops again and I am back at square one. Or I start analyzing how people move onto the dance floor to see how they do it. Do they walk on and into the middle of the crowd and then start? Do they already have a "beat" in their step or do they start at the edge and work their way in or does anyone ask someone from on the floor or off to start dancing with them....

And then I think I have finally got myself ready and conquered all the hurdles and am ready to just GO but now there is only a half hour left till closing time so will it look stupid to start now? It would be sad to get on the dance floor just as they turn off the lights but how much time before then is "acceptable"

ARG!

Is it a wonder that the bearings in my brain haven't burned out and seized up by now? But I was able to finally DO IT, I just kept stopping the analyzing, I think I must have looked like someone having several false starts at jumping into a double-dutch rope going at full speed, but I got on, didn't let it bother me that it was only a half hour till closing. Of course once I was on the floor I was FINE. I was even worried about my arthritis but even that wasn't bad I just took it easy.

Of course then the next set of nonsense starts... should I just stay by myself on the dancefloor? Or try to start dancing with someone? Or join with a group of people dancing? All that doesn't matter too much though because I just felt good about getting up there.

So it took a ton of visits to this place to accomplish that but I've done it three or four times now (and managed to get on there with more than a half hour to go .

Tonight I'm having a problem all over again but I can't get it to stop. I'm thinking about work, about the house, about friends, about calling someone (tried, can't) and it is bothering my sleep again and I want to be able to stop it

While I'm here I might as well say the other thing I do which is pretty funny. Especially with all the characters there, different kinds of dress, different attitudes, some people dancing on the stage provocatively... and I stand there with a voice in my head, it is the voice of the guy who does all those whispered voiceovers on the nature shows on PBS "This is the mating ritual of the male human. Note the upturned shirt collar as a form of confidence to attract another male or female. The male then begins the ritualistic movements of swinging his hips while attempting to make eye contact. In large groups, this social animal organizes itself into groups, performing other ritualistic moves of entanglement, often assigning one member of the group to leave the ritual to go foraging for beer and pretzels for the other members. Sometimes one of them makes an offering to another as a way of displaying interest..."

I do that even when I am on the dancefloor. It is still me thinking too much, but it makes me laugh, sometime I actually start to chuckle, and it makes me feel good and helps me to "loosen up".

On a completely different topic, does anyone here think it is possible to be addicted (in the clinical emotional sense) to helping other people?

I am a mess tonight. I think I am going to make an omelet. It is late but Peter made one on Everybody Loves Raymond tonight and I've been craving one...

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--http://www.idexter.com

I can't get my head around all the people in my life, or more accurately, all the people no longer in my life,... the stress of losing everything (not just the house, but that would be a huge symbol) and I am worried that I am slipping back to where I was a year ago. I want to move past this, not repeat it.

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--http://www.idexter.com

"I stand there with a voice in my head, it is the voice of the guy who does all those whispered voiceovers on the nature shows on PBS"

LOL Even before I finished your post, I was laughing and thinking that it was more than just alright! For all anyone knows, you're having the grandest time! How do you know that someone else who is smiling isn't thinking similar thoughts... or worse! LOL

Of course it's okay to fix yourself an omelette, no matter what time of the day or night it is.

Aw, geez! I went and picked several bushes clean yesterday, of what I thought were $1k bills, especially for you. Guess what? They all turned into cherry tomatoes by morning!! I've got two paper grocery bags full... and they're nothing but tomatoes! Want some tomatoes for your omelette? I'm sorry... I know that's not funny...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dave}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish...





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

But I like cherry tomatoes.

Last week I bought myself a few tomatoes and lettuce and onions and I made a salad with whatever frozen garbage I was eating. That was another sign that things are getting better, normally even when I'm just holding even I don't have the patience to follow through with that... on the rare occasion that I buy some I make one salad and then watch the stuff go all fuzzybear on me in the fridge .

So that's good. I'm running out of food again though and too lazy to go shopping.

I didn't make the omelet, but the time I got downstairs I was too lazy, you know, TURN the stove on, CRACK the eggshells, oh and then gotta STIR the eggs with a fork because NO, he couldn't have been making eggs over easy on Everybody Loves Raymond, and then get the pan hot, and...... so I just made myself a cheese sandwich and came back upstairs

Anyway glad I did because now I have some eggs left to use with some of those cherry tomatoes. Put them back in the bag, maybe they'll turn into nickels!

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--http://www.idexter.com

Dexter - I sure wish there was something all of us could do for you - you have helped so many with your advice. We will all "pray" in our own way for you to be able to stay home. Keep your faith in your own goodness and know that you are not alone in the world - we are all with you and supporting you as best we can.

The vision of your goodness will sustain me through the cold
Take my hand now to remember when you find yourself alone
You are never alone… (John Denver)
Mars

Hey, guy... how are things coming??

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dave}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Long freakin long long day today. Just got home a little while ago, had unemployment orientation... just want to collapse now my eyes are so droopy...

And I was very nauseous this morning. But the omlete that I was too lazy to make last night... I made it this morning before I left the house, and managed to get it all down even with the nausea. Simple omelet, just eggs and american cheese. I tried putting some tomatoes in too but when I finished cooking it they had all turned into $1K bills! Turns out money tastes delicious, who knew??!! Must be the special paper....

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--http://www.idexter.com

Dear Grand Poohbah --

So much of your story sounds like mine. Losing everything. The symbolic losing of the home. Anxiety. Fears. My heart goes out to you, and my prayers.