I was wondering if anyone has read anything on dealing with suicide ideation specifically. or is it basically the same as dealing with the depression itself.

[Cyran0]

This is not from a therapist but is just something I've been doing (so please just take it as one guys approach and not as actual advice).

I fantasize about suicide a lot. Always have. A few months ago this was a big problem and one night I thought, "I don't really want to die. So what is this really about?"

I came to see it as a desperate need for escape from the illness. So now I guide those thoughts/fantasies towards that. I intentionally picture myself free of stress and depression. Sometimes to get there I have to fantasize that I'm someone else without these problems. Other times I'll dream that there's a new medical breakthrough and the illness is largely relieved.

So that's me and it kinda works. I mean, I'll always imagine suicide because I'm a dark/cynical person who is drawn to such topics but focusing on what I really want does help a bit.

Cyran0

thanks, Cyran. That makes sense.

[jefftele]

hi tricky one for me , as when i'm in a severe depression all i want is an end to this life, things like how my sons would be affected somehow help me to hang on to the thin thread of life.i know that i have come out of them as quickly as i fall into them, they are a mystery to me.

[Cyran0]

I should second that. I also think about how it would hurt my kids.

Cyran0

[ECHOES]

What has helped me tremendously is what someone who has a PhD in psychology, but does not do therapy, told me . She said that suicidal thoughts are quantitative: that is, they are making a statement about *how much* pain one is in. ... "I hurt SO much that...". That has helped me to look beyond the idea to what's behind it.

Also, in reading "Get Me Out of Here", the patient's psychiatrist (who is also a therapist) states calmly that suicidal thoughts and actions are ways of acting out. It is similar to the previous idea, but also for me it is sobering because I don't want to be seen as someone 'acting out'.

Writing about it can help too, to get to what's going on in the 'background' when the thoughts are there.

I think it takes practicing these things or something similar, over a period of time, while also being in therapy and talking about it there, to help get rid of it.

I hope this helps.

[Doh2007]

I had a vision of my mother having to pick out a coffin. I've heard that's common.

Second, some people believe that you'd just come back and have to start over again. Who wants to do that?

[Candor]

I too struggle with suicidal ideation. However it seems to be morphing into something else. I don't want to be responsible for taking my life, for a # of reasons, so I spend a lot more time now wishing for death rather than planning it. It's not exactly a healthy exchange, but it's all I can do to cope right now.

[Perna]

I've done like Cyrano only I've gone a bit differently and got books out of the library on suicide and paid attention to what I was thinking as I was reading them. That helped me understand what the thoughts did for me (provided a "bottom" to that black hole, somewhere to stand that was "safe" (the thoughts are safe because I'm not really going to suicide, but who knows how depressed or crazy/"lost" I might get?)). I was using the thoughts as building materials until I could replace them with "normal" thoughts that were better for me.

[Wings23]

I am new to this, but I agree with some of the other posts. When I had suicidal thoughts, I thought of my little sisters and what that would teach them. Some years ago my best friend's mom committed sucide and the destruction and damage it did to my girlfriend is sickening. And....she will have to deal with it for the rest of her life.

[SoSadMom]

I too fantasize a lot about dying and I know this is a coping mechanism, because although I may think I want to die, I am committed to sticking around because I have responsibilities as a parent. I have extensively researched methods and read a lot on the subject (actually right now I'm reading a book written by a mortician, about various "cases" that touched her). I feel like this is comforting in a way to know that I have the choice and this option is here if I really want it someday. But again, I'm committed to being here at least for the long-term.