[Defective]

So my girlfriend of a decade broke up with me on sunday. I thought i was depressed before lol. So now im an unemployed 33 year old living at home with his parents. Worse yet my dad had a stroke in the last six months so now they are broke and im a burden of an even bigger sort. She had to choose now to break up with me? I was a loser the whole relationship, it took ten years to figure this out? The reason? No big reason, she just doesnt love me anymore. There was no cataclysmic event. Couldnt she have at least pretended to fall in love with someone else? That it wasnt just all me she was rejecting? That she preferred to live alone than see my dumb face is pretty bad.

So what am i going to do now? Last time i was at home i was a 23 year old and it wasnt that big of a deal. Now im old and im still that 23 year old in every way possible. All the options to a 23 year old are open to me i guess, i could go to college or something but im 33 now. I wish i could improve myself enough so if she heard about me she would for one split second regret she broke my heart. Thankfully for the time being im mostly still numb, im sure a nuclear bomb of depression is coming though.

[Mamunia7]

I can really relate to your situation. Over the last few years I lost my job, my dad got very sick and eventually died. In that period my neice also died. The list of other deaths and mishaps would astound you. I just keep thinking this too shall pass. Eventually the depression will lift and life will become bearable. Of course, until then we are pulling our hair out screaming, "STOP!" Just know that you are not alone.

[nowheretorun]

"I wish i could improve myself enough so if she heard about me she would for one split second regret she broke my heart."

hey... chance is someone else might notice Defective : )

[BalishBun]

hey dont be down. Until we have enough for a house, my husband is living with me and my parents and he is 32.

[Defective]

Its like my whole life is starting over again. I dont know if thats a good or a bad thing. Feels bad but im willing to hopefully give it a shot at least for a little while. Lost my girlfriend, lost my cat and today was my last appointment with my therapist(i live so far from there that i have to find someplace closer or id need to learn how to steal gas). Everything is going to be new. My t seemed to think i should have a positive outlook that i was in a bad rut so so many new things will have the chance of making somethings better.

I dont know how long my mom will let me stay here, my dad said i could stay forever. I appreciate my dads generousity but i dont know how long i can last. Its better than my mom though, she keeps talking like im going to be here a month or two. Who knows, maybe i can win powerball tonight. If you all see some ugly guy on tv who won and is lashing out at his ex girlfriend and laughing at her, im rich!

[Abby]

I guess there are two ways at looking at it: a new beginning, or everything is lost. If you could pick one i think i know what it would be!! But i understand it isn't as easy as that, if only life were! I wish you weren't so negative about yourself, i understand life ain't going your way right now and the depression is lying to you big time but despite it being negative...you are pretty funny. I know it is probably humour to cover things up - its what i use too - but it is still a very good quality.
Be kind to yourself, life gives us hills and valleys....maybe you are at the start of a very tall mountain??! Haha sorry what an awful analogy...i really shouldn't even try!
Take care,