whats wrong w/me

I want the day to come back where I feel good and happy. All I have done lately is sleep and feel lifeless, no energy. I don't call anyone anymore and I read these post and feel for all these people that are sick, angry and looking forward to the day. I just look at the mess in my apt and say to that inner voice I have, clean up, you live like a slob and look like a slob. I stay hungry and thirsty all the time. My sister finally sold her house and I was so happy for her for about 5 minutes then it was gone. I get upset when my e-mail is empty, but how can I expect anyone to talk to me when I don't talk to them. There is still some degree of intelligence there along w/confusion, stupidity,laziness and my hate for myself. My fault at having this illness that hurts others and causes them to not understand. They think I am selfish when I try to take care of myself and follow the help of my T. It hurts them so I stop and give in to them and do what they want me to do. I'm a very good actress to the outside world but the inner world is a dark damp place where I hide crouched down in a corner not wanting to come out and take care of myself. So everyday I wonder why me and when will this illness go away. never, never, never. pj56

I really and truly feel for you. (((((((((pj56)))))))))))

I'm sorry people aren't more supportive... people tend to not really understand depression. They give pretty useless advice too (I was told that I need to have a hobby... I HAVE hobbies, I'm still depressed).

Can you break down the tasks that you NEED to do, into smaller pieces? Like eating at least once a day at (set a time) or cleaning some small section of your house? I'm glad your T is trying to help you, and sorry everyone is trying to tell you things that aren't true.

You are important. You deserve respect, and you are not selfish or lazy, or stupid.

Hugs for you, and you can PM me whenever, so you at least have some mail from me. (And I like mail too!)

i really hope everything improves.

Hi pyckyjan56,

As a nutritional psychologist I look upon depression is a slightly different way from the usual it's all in the mind approach.

When we are depressed and don't know exactly why we should be depressed - in other words we cannot talk ourselves out of it - it is usually the case that our body is ill and fails to produce the right, neurotransmitters to make us feel happy and content.

For the body to produce the feel good transmitters such as serotonin, it will require a vast array of nutritional forerunners such as tryptophan and Co-enzymes, vitamins and minerals. It not only need this vast variety of nutritional forerunners, it also needs Biological Energy called (ATP) derived mainly from carbohydrates in food.

See:
Depression and Insulin Resistance

Thus people with Insulin Resistance as in diabetes and hypoglycemia (a forerunner of diabetes) are often found to suffer from mood disorders including depression and anxiety attacks.

I feel that there is an over-emphasis on the "psychological" aspects of depression at the expense of biological aspects, which is partly responsible for the failure rate in treatment for depression.

Most psychiatrists look at the biological aspects, but not being trained in nutritional biochemistry tend to rely on DRUGS ONLY, which can offer merely palliative treatment for mood disorders.

For an alternative explanation please read:

Depression is a Nutritional Disorder

Conquering Anxiety, Depression and Fatigue Without Drugs - The Role of Hypoglycemia byProfessor J H Levitt

Depression is a big can of worms, so the first step would be to seek outside help to direct your therapy. The 10 million dollar question is what kind of therapist? You said you have a therapist, that’s good. In my opinion a cognitive behavioral therapist would be the best. A cognitive therapist would look at how you deal with life today. What attitudes are active today. Focusing on events of the past has been shown to do little good to a depressed person. A cognitive behavioral therapist will work with you on changing distorted or dysfunctional thinking and teach you how to deal with fear. Don’t trust my opinion. Think critically. Go out on the web and you will find plenty of scientific evidence that supports cognitive behavioral therapy. Avoid pseudoscientific claims that try to get you to spend money on unproven, unscientific cures. While nutrition is an important part of emotional and physical health, many alternative medicine folks will try to say you can fix serious problems with the right herb or vitamin. Since cognitive behavioral therapy has scientific evidence behind it, you don’t need to try every new theory that comes along. If you have the right therapist, then follow the advice of your therapist, educate yourself about any cognitive, behavioral, emotional, relationship, communication, introspection, critical thinking, observational, or stress management skills you feel you may need. Develop a healthy personal value system. Be willing to change. Until all these skills kick in connect with people. Knowing people care and feeling connected helps the mood. I’ve only scratched the surface on what you can do to help yourself, so don’t feel helpless or hopeless.

PS Send me a private messages if you want to.

I agree with what continuis has offered up. Nutrition does play

a big role in how you feel mentally and physically. Excercise not

only does your physical body good but also gets those fantastic

endorhpins (happy chemicals ) flowing for Mental health..which

combats depression!!!

Living in the past will keep you in the past. You can retrain

your brain to get rid of what I call "ANTS" or automatic negative

thought system. Using a Mental meditation with a Huge " X " in

your mind when these negative thoughts come into play can help to

eliminate them. Repeating to yourself "CANCEL CANCEL" and

envisioning the " X " over negative thoughts, fears and phobias.

I have read about this and many Cognitive therapists use this

technique. Then don't forget to reward yourself positively after

getting through whatever your trying to overcome...?

((((((((((((( puckyjan )))))))))))))))