[x_BabyG_x]

I haven't a clue what to do. I feel so down the pain is unbearable, Im really struggling tonight.
I need a life. I need something to keep me going and a reason to wake up in the morning and I dont see it ever happening. I need a job, but I have no qualifications, no experience and no transport to get me around. I keep getting rejected, I cant get rejected anymore. My dad hates me. Telling all the family last night how much of a loser I am and making me look like a burden to him. I havent got a mum. I cant seem to pluck up the courage to tell my boyfriend how down Im feeling, I left him thinking I was just in one of my 'moods' tonight and now I feel even worse. Im going to lose him aswell if this carries on.

I just want my ambition and my willpower back but its all drained out of me. I want to wake up and I want everything to be better. I want to cut so badly right now, but Ive realised that its only going to make me feel better for a few hours. Then what? Whats the point?

I hate myself right now

[pachyderm]

[Christina86]

(((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. I know the feeling, and it isn't very pleasant.

Do you have anyone to talk to? A counsellor? Maybe you need a break from some things, and people do go through down periods. They're not pleasant, but eventually you'll get through it.

If you can try to talk to your boyfriend, maybe he can help or be the support that you need right now, especially if your father isn't.

Keep trying. Keep yourself safe. You're important.

[splitimage]

I'm sorry things are so hard right now - are you or can you get any kind of councilling to help you deal with your negative feelings. I found therapy helped me tremendously. I see from your counter that you haven't cut in 6 days. That's awesome and shows you have willpower.

Re needing a job. I know job hunting is hard and really hard on the ego. I've been trying to find a job since last September and just keep getting rejected. And I'm a qualified accountant. You just have to keep plugging away.

Have you thought about career councilling / vocational testing. At least in Canada it's free through a lot of social service agencies. They help you figure out what you'd like to do / be good at, and then help you find out the qualifications needed to get that job. They can also help with interview techniques and writing resumes. A friend of mine in AA is working with a job placement agency now, and she says it's been very helpful. Just a thought.

Hang in there.

--splitimage

[coldwinter]

I can relate. Keep yourself busy or sleep all day is my suggestion and don't forget to take meds if you are on it. Go out for a walk or jog outside. Call a friend or go out watch a movie or just go window shopping. These will help you not harm yourself. It will pass.

[(JD)]

Depression is a terrible thing to have, and to try and get out of it enough to get help is so very difficult. But you must. You need to find someone IRL to professionally help you out of this hole you're in.

IDK the system there, but start making calls...or go online and look for help you can email first for contact. Once you make contact, tell the person how you are feeling and can't seem to do anything to help yourself, so they don't give you too much to do on your own but help you more? (But that in itself is a good step.)

There are many ppl in the same boat. There are ways to work around or through every issue you have there, the depression just isn't letting you see them.

(((hugs)))

[x_BabyG_x]

Thanks guys,

Feeling a bit better now. I let my boyfriend know that I was feeling depressed and that was a weight lifted off my shoulders, I know now he understands the reason for me being off with him.

only 2 more weeks until I see my new therapist regularly. Just gotta hang on from there.

Thanks for all the support, babyg xxx

[altonwoodsdrphil]

Oh Baby...My heart really goes out to you, I can relate to your confusion and painful circumstances. Having purpouse in life is SO important to finding fullfillment and a level of happiness, what would you like to do with your life if you could? try thinking about that and seeing yourself as being on your way there! theres help available to you if you'll reach out for it and just WALK!