[SingDanceRunLife]

So for the past week or so, I've been feeling pretty down. I don't really know why. There are some explanations, but they don't fully explain it. The big kicker was the fight on Saturday that I had with my sister...It wouldn't have been had I not have already felt so bad, but after that, I broke down. I haven't felt good since. It took a couple days to get over the fight, but now I am. Still though, I feel like crap. I feel stupid, and antisocial, and worthless, and yadda yadda yadda. I'm sure you guys know what I mean. Ugh. I just don't want to do anything. I'm being fake. I want to lie in bed all day, sleep, and possibly cry. I haven't felt this bad in ages. Here I was, thinking that I had improved and my depression was lessening, and now I've gone back to the way I was before I started therapy. That makes me feel even worse. I know that I need my T session this week, but I really don't want to go. It's not until Thursday, but I don't want to have to deal with it. I don't want to talk about this, I just want it to go away! Yeah, so anyway, this was basically just a pointless rant, so you can ignore it if you want.

[Christina86]

((((((((((SingDanceRunLife)))))))))))))

Rants are good for clearing up some of the emotional 'stuff'. This probably won't help any at all, but I try to remember when I'm down in the dumps (because depression comes and goes when it pleases sometimes it seems) that it's "two step forward, one step back".

Try to get yourself to therapy on Thursday. I know it seems pointless at the moment, and you don't want to talk etc ... but sometimes this is the best time to go. Means we're more in touch with ourselves, so our T's can help us out more. Or can you contact your T via email or phone and tell them how you're feeling? Just to have them convince you to go, or keep you accountable?

It sucks being "down" and I'm sorry about your fight with your sister.

Take care of yourself. One step at a time.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( SingDanceRunLife ))))))))))))))

[SingDanceRunLife]

Thanks.

I will go to T on Thursday. I've gotten really good at going places even when I don't want to. Plus, I know that if I don't, I'll be worse off.

I do have contact info for my T, but I've never used it...And now is not the time. I'll wait until my appointment on Thursday to discuss what's going on.

Anyway, I should head off to bed because I have school tomorrow. It's gonna be another "I don't care so I'm gonna roll out of bed and put my hair up day" just like today was, dirty sweats and grungy sweatshirt and all.

[Doh2007]

Poor kid. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this.

[SingDanceRunLife]

Today was a bit better...At least parts of it. I still feel like crap though, and basically anything could make me cry. And I'm not doing homework tonight either.

[SingDanceRunLife]

Scratch that. I wanna cry.

[SingDanceRunLife]

Today...Although it was good for awhile, turned sour. I had to go out to dinner with my family for my brother's and grandpa's birthdays, and that caused bad feelings. Add being let down by my mom, and you've got my current mood. Bad. Low. I want to cry. And tomorrow is Easter which I am not at all excited for. I used to love holidays, now I wish I could just skip over them! Ugh.

[Pseudonym]

I'm sorry, SDRL. I hope you get a good cry in. If it helps, I'm not a fan of holidays either. Maybe I'll see you on the chat tomorrow.

Hugs.

[SingDanceRunLife]

I don't think I'll cry. The tears just won't come. I'm going to bed now though. I'll sleep in as late as I can before having to get up for church. Then, I'll go to church, come home, be 'excited' about the candy hunt for my little siblings, eat dinner and socialize with people, then hide out downstairs. Probably won't be on chat, at least not during the day.

[Pseudonym]

Well don't *plan* on being miserable.

[SingDanceRunLife]

I'm not planning on it. I'm just hoping that I don't.

[Pseudonym]

Good =)